Terrified even. She didn’t want to have children with someone so much older and who had heart problems. What if he died and left her a single mother? That was exactly what had happened to her own mother and it was not what she wanted in her own future. She didn’t love Richard enough to take that chance. It was easier to let him go.
She had thought Richard would be a safe choice, she’d thought he wanted the same things as her. She’d thought his focus was on his career and that because he was already in his forties he wouldn’t want children. Wouldn’t he have had them by now if that was the case? But when things had turned out differently from what she’d expected, she’d discovered that she didn’t love him enough to change her mind. She didn’t love him enough to risk everything she’d worked for.
‘So that’s it. All over?’
‘It’s the right decision. I know it is. I’m not even sure he loves me either. I think a lot of his plan for the future was driven by timing and circumstances and not so much by his love for me. He had never mentioned wanting children before his heart attack. I think he’d be marrying me for the wrong reasons too.’
Scarlett picked up her cocktail glass. The wait staff was well trained and had obviously been told to make the most of the break in the entertainment to keep the drinks coming. No sooner had one jug been emptied than another was delivered. Scarlett sipped her drink. She didn’t really need more but she wanted to let the alcohol numb her a little bit. She didn’t want to spend the night thinking about Richard. That chapter of her life was over and she wasn’t planning on having any regrets.
She’d been working and studying hard since she was sixteen and she had a few more years to go. She wanted to finish her studies and she wanted time to enjoy the fruits of her labour. She didn’t want to be tied down at the moment. Surely that was a sign she wasn’t ready for marriage. Surely that was a sign that it was time to have some fun.
‘Let’s talk about something else. I’m moving forward with my life, starting tonight.’
She looked around at all the women who were getting into the spirit of the evening, not just at Candice’s table but throughout the room. She got the feeling she could let her hair down and not be judged. There was a sense of what happened in the strip club stayed in the strip club feel to the night. Maybe it was the effect of the green cocktails but Scarlett decided it was time to join the party.
Another round of cocktails had just been brought to their table and this time it was Scarlett who refilled their glasses before she turned her attention to the entertainment. Another set had just begun and the stripper on stage was young and athletic and, in her uneducated opinion, very good at his job. She felt slightly uncomfortable appreciating the ‘talent’ of the much younger men on stage but considering she was hardly the oldest female in the room, and she was certainly not the loudest in voicing her appreciation, she decided she would be rude not to enjoy the show.
By the time the set came to a close the green hue of the drink was starting to make her feel a bit nauseous. She wasn’t used to drinking much, her job didn’t really allow for it, and she knew if she didn’t make sure to drink some water she’d regret it in the morning.
‘I think I need something other than alcohol,’ she told Mel. ‘I’m going to the bar. Do you want anything?’
Mel shook her head as Scarlett pushed her chair back and stood up, pleased to find she could feel her toes again after resting her feet. She picked her way through the tables, dodging the good-looking, scantily clad waiting staff. She didn’t want to make eye contact with them but there didn’t seem to be any other polite place to look as she made her way across the room.
The bar staff was all cut from the same cloth as the waiters. They were all men, all shirtless and all cute. Not one of them had any chest hair or any body fat. They were all waxed and tanned and gorgeous and Scarlett gave them each a quick once-over before they had time to notice her.
The barman closest to her was slicing lemons. He was about three feet away and standing in profile to her. He had a sculpted jaw, small ears and brown hair, cut shorter at the sides and longer on top, that he’d obviously run some product through with his fingers to keep it spiked up. The deejay was playing a faster-tempo dance number now and all the barmen were moving to the music. Nothing choreographed, their movements looked natural and Scarlett wondered if they even knew they were dancing. She watched his hips as he kept time to the beat. His abdominal muscles flexed as he twisted to reach another lemon, drawing her attention away from his butt. His skin was smooth and tanned and his triceps tensed as he slid the knife through the flesh.
He finished dissecting the last lemon and scraped the slices into a bowl, using the back of the knife. He slid the cutting board into a sink as he twirled the knife through his fingers. Scarlett held her breath and watched as the light reflected off the blade. She gasped as he lost control of the knife and it left his hand and spun through the air. She watched it fall and waited for it to hit the floor, waited for it to stab into something it shouldn’t.
It landed on the floor behind the barman, where it lay innocuously on the rubber matting. No harm, no foul, but he’d heard her gasp and before he retrieved the knife he turned to look at her. He grinned. A cheeky, quick smile that lit up his face and made Scarlett think he made a habit of mucking around and that he didn’t mind getting caught.
He held her gaze and winked at her. Scarlett blushed and quickly broke eye contact but when, out of the corner of her eye, she saw him turn around to pick up the knife she automatically went back for a second look. His jeans had stretched firmly across his butt and Scarlett couldn’t help but admire him. His buttocks were round and firm and the denim of his pants moulded perfectly to his backside.
She was still looking as he stood up and turned to face her, catching her by surprise. Her blush deepened and she couldn’t pretend she hadn’t been checking him out but luckily he didn’t seem offended if his broad grin was anything to go by. He didn’t seem to mind being stared at but, then, why should he? He was gorgeous and probably very used to it. She didn’t imagine she was the first woman to have been caught perving on him.
He ran the knife under hot water and put it to one side. He grabbed a tea towel to dry his hands and then tucked the towel into the waistband of his jeans. Scarlett’s eyes followed his movements. His jeans were loose at his hips and as he shoved the tea towel under his waistband the movement pushed his jeans even lower, giving her a glimpse of the diagonal line of his inguinal ligament. When she realised what she was doing she quickly raised her eyes, only to find he was still watching her.
He took three steps and came to a stop in front of her. He was still grinning and Scarlett was flustered, unsettled and unsure where to look.
‘What can I get you?’ he asked.
His voice was deep but quiet and she found herself leaning towards him as she tried to hear what he was saying. They were separated only by a few inches now and his features came into sharp relief, almost as though he’d been projected onto a glass pane in front of her. His green eyes were deep set and as he looked at her it seemed he could see what she was thinking.
His bottom lip was full even while he was smiling and his nose was perfectly straight, flaring slightly at the bottom into a small triangle. His chin and jaw were shaped like the bottom of a flawlessly proportioned pentagon and the angles of his face gave him an almost perfectly symmetrical appearance. His tanned shoulders were dusted with freckles and his jaw was lightly stubbled, and at close range he looked older than she’d first thought. But he was still young, mid-twenties maybe, definitely younger than her. Not that his age mattered. Sure, he was cute and his body was divine and he certainly looked like he would know how to show a woman a good time, but it was irrelevant to
