didn’t even know existed.
He didn’t even speak as the Colonel showed Ms Cummings out.
* * *
April had an ache deep inside her belly. This was a whole new Riley Callaghan in front of her right now.
He looked almost broken. She’d spent the last four weeks secretly watching his cheeky grin, positive interactions and boundless energy. There had been a few emergencies on the ward and Riley thought and moved quicker than anyone. He was a great doctor. Happy to help others. And always itching to get on to the next thing.
It was the first time she’d ever seen him slumped. He just seemed stunned.
His hand reached up and crumpled the letter on the table in front of him. She moved instinctively, brushing her fingers against his, pulling the paper from his and smoothing the paper back down.
‘Don’t. In a few years’ time you might want to show that to Finn.’
He stood up so quickly the chair flew back and hit the floor. ‘She didn’t tell me. She didn’t tell me about him.’ He flung his hands up. ‘How could she do that to me? How could she do that to him?’
April’s mouth dried. She didn’t know what to say. How on earth could she answer that question?
He started pacing, running his hands through his thick dark hair. ‘What do I do? I don’t know the first thing about children. I don’t know how to be a father. What if he doesn’t like me? What if I suck at being a dad?’ He threw his hands out again. ‘I don’t have a house. What do I buy for a five-year-old? What does a five-year-old boy need? And what about my job? Will I still work here? What about school? Does Finn even go to school yet? I move about, all over the place. How can that be good for a kid?’
April took a deep breath. It was clear that every thought in his brain was just tumbling straight out of his mouth. She shook her head and stood in front of him. ‘Riley, I don’t know. I honestly don’t know. But there’s a foster mother. She’ll probably be able to help. You have keys to the house. Everything that a five-year-old boy needs will be there. And it will probably help Finn if you take his own things to help him settle.’
The light in the office was dimmer than the rest of the hospital. But Riley’s hurt green eyes were the thing she could see clearest. She was standing right in front of him. Closer than she’d ever wanted to get.
He closed his eyes for a second then nodded. ‘You’re right. I know you’re right. But my son...Finn...he’s been in foster care. Isn’t that supposed to be terrible?’
She gave a soft smile. ‘I think those days are long gone. Foster carers have to go through a mountain of checks these days. Finn will have been well looked after. But the last few days will probably have been a blur.’
He reached out and took her hand in his. It made her catch her breath. It was so unexpected. And more. He just didn’t let it go.
She could almost feel his pain. It was palpable. It was right there in the air between them. Riley Callaghan had just had the legs swept from clean under him. And, to his credit, he was still standing. Just the way she would have expected of him.
‘Will you help me, April?’ He squeezed her hand.
Fear swept through her. ‘What do you mean?’
‘I don’t know. I don’t know anything. Will you help me?’
Help. What did that mean? She was all for supporting a colleague in a difficult situation. But this one was probably bigger than anyone could have expected.
‘Please? I’m out of my depth, April. I know that already.’ His green eyes were pleading with her. Twisting her insides this way and that.
A child. A little boy had just lost a parent. Finn must be feeling lost. He must feel as if his whole world had just ended.
She met Riley’s gaze. ‘I’ll help where I can,’ she said cautiously. ‘I can help you with the funeral.’
He frowned. ‘You will?’
Mallory. She’d organised every tiny detail of the funeral, even though it had ripped her heart out. Who else knew her twin better than her?
She nodded. ‘Let’s just say I’m good at funerals.’
And she squeezed his hand back.
WHAT ON EARTH am I doing?
April spent the whole time on the motorway questioning herself. Riley’s hands gripped the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles were white. He’d looked pale this morning. As if he hadn’t slept a wink.
By the time the satnav took them into the Birmingham street, the tension was so high she felt as if it could propel the car into the sky. As he killed the engine she leaned over and put one of her hands over his. She really didn’t want to touch him. Touching Riley did strange things to her senses, but this wasn’t about her. This was about a little boy.
‘Stop.’
‘What?’
‘Just...stop.’
He pulled back his hands and sat back in the seat. ‘What are you talking about?’
She could see the tension across his shoulders, reaching up into his jaw.
‘You can’t go in there like this.’
‘What?’ The anger that had been simmering beneath the surface was threatening to crack through.
‘This is the first time Finn will see you. None of this is his fault. He’s about to meet his dad—someone he’s only seen in a photograph before.’
She lifted up her hand as Riley opened his mouth to speak. ‘I thought about this last night. I told you I don’t have any experience with kids, but what do I think this little boy needs to hear?’ She leaned a little closer to him. ‘I think he needs to hear his dad loves him. His dad is going to look after him and stay with him. His dad is his family and you’ll always be together.’
He frowned and then his face relaxed and he shook his head. ‘I know. I know that’s exactly what I should say.’ He lifted one hand and ran it through his hair. ‘I spoke to my brother last night.’
Her stomach twisted. ‘Isn’t he in Scotland?’
Riley nodded. ‘He’s on a training exercise. There’s supposed to be radio silence. But the Colonel made some arrangements for me. Dan was blown away. Says he can’t wait to meet Finn.’
‘Good. That’s great. At least you know you’ll have the support of your family.’ Then she tilted her head to the side. Something seemed just a little off. ‘What aren’t you saying? Did you speak to your mum and dad?’
He shook his head and put one hand back on the steering wheel. ‘That’s the one thing Dan actually understands. My mum and dad will
