voice calmly telling her she could step out onto that nightmare of a ledge at Mr Harland’s house mixed with the hasty apology that Zenna had made when she remembered her fears.
Nick had had to put himself at great risk by having to coax and support her along that ledge. Zenna was doubtless regretting her plan for converting this lovely space into rooms because she knew Tallie was scared of the height.
She made herself step out again, clinging to the window frame as she had before. At least she was certain this was a genuine fear and she was not indulging herself in order to draw attention, or have a man protect her. Here she was alone and as terrified as she had been at the studio. But if she could only manage to conquer the fear enough to stand out here and admire the view with Zenna, that would be something.
She held on to the window and looked up, studiously following a bird in flight until it began to swoop down. That was all right; she could look at the tree tops. She dropped her eyes further and her stomach lurched with them, but after perhaps five minutes carefully gazing at the distant prospect she felt able to let go of the window and walk up and down the wide ledge.
This was so successful that she even let her eyes stray to the parapet and its broad top. It was far wider than any stool she had ever sat upon. How proud of her Zenna would be if she could sit on that or even just lean against it. Her stomach lurched again.
Tallie closed her eyes and began to pace up and down, repeating out loud, ‘I will not give in, I will not.’ She put out a groping hand and found the parapet, edged towards it and, with her face screwed up into a scowl of grim determination, eyes still tight shut, started to hitch one hip up onto the broad top as she had seen Zenna do.
The voice shouting ‘No!’ hit her almost at the same moment as the arms that seized her, dragged her round and off the parapet.
She screamed, opened her eyes and saw her worst nightmare, the wide view spinning around her. She was falling, helpless …
With another shriek Tallie hit the steep slope of the Mansard roof, her breath crushed out of her by the body that pinned her there. Hands pressed her face to a broad chest, fingers laced desperately in her hair and a voice, a familiar voice sounding utterly unfamiliar, repeated words that made no sense at all.
Tallie stopped flailing and trying to find breath to scream and heard incredulously what Nick Stangate was gasping into her hair, against her face.
‘My love, my darling … no … I am sorry, I will not harass you any more, I promise, my love … only promise me you will never do anything like that again. Tallie, my heart, I will never come near you, if only you’ll promise me …’
She gave up trying to push him away and reached to fasten her hands in his hair, forcing his head back so she could gaze incredulously into Nick’s face. His eyes were wild, dark, his expression vulnerable as she had never seen it.
‘What did you call me?’ she managed to whisper.
‘My love.’ His voice was hoarse. ‘Tallie darling, I never meant to hound you until you would do something so desperate …’
‘You thought I was going to jump?’ Of course, that must have been what it looked like. ‘Oh, no Nick, I was just trying to sit on the ledge, like Zenna did. She was so disappointed that I might not want to share her rooms up here because of the height. I was only trying to conquer my fear.’
He slowly straightened his arms until he was standing with her trapped by them, her back against the near-vertical slope of the roof. He closed his eyes and Tallie saw the tension ebb out of him. ‘Of all the damn fool, witless ideas,’ he said, his voice shaking. Then he caught hold of himself and the grey gaze was furious on her face. ‘You could have been killed, you could have become dizzy, fallen. You were all by yourself up here. It was the most hen-witted …’
Tallie swallowed and enquired meekly, ‘Did you call me your love?’
‘Yes.’ The glare faded. ‘Tallie, my darling, never, never do anything like that to me again. You have taken years off my life—in fact, I will probably wake up tomorrow with white hair.’
‘Very distinguished,’ Tallie murmured, the growing bubble of happiness welling up inside her, threatening to burst and leave her speechless. ‘Did you mean it when you called me that?’
‘Of course I meant it.’ Nick touched a cautious finger to her cheek. ‘Your face is dirty. Did I hurt you just now?’
‘No, I do not think so. Nick, why did you not tell me? You made me all those arguments about why I had to marry you and never mentioned the one thing—the only thing—that matters to me.’
‘I had no idea that I loved you,’ he admitted, regarding her ruefully. ‘Not an inkling. I knew I desired you, but that seemed to blind me to what else I was feeling.’ He shook his head, apparently trying to explain things to himself as much as to Tallie. ‘I knew I worried about you and you infuriated me and puzzled me. I wanted to protect you and I wanted to make passionate love to you—and half the time I wanted to shake you. How was I to know I was in love with you? I have never been in love before.’
‘Neither have I.’
‘Then you do love me? After what I’ve done to you? Embarrassed you in the street, pried into your life, disapproved of your friends, kissed you in the most improper way, compromised you …’
‘… looked after me, saved my reputation, fought for me, made me laugh, made me want to behave in the most abandoned and outrageous manner?’
‘Then why would you not marry me when I asked you, you little wretch?’
Tallie regarded him in loving exasperation. ‘What, agree to marry a man who was lecturing me on how I was ruined and had to marry him? Marry a man whom I had just overheard telling his aunt all about his now useless plans to marry a well-connected nice young Society miss?’
‘Ah, I can see that would be a consideration.’ Nick regarded her steadily, all the amusement gone from his eyes. ‘It would have been a terrible mistake, that nice young Society miss. I would have been bored in a month. What I want—what I need—is a beautiful, scandalous, argumentative milliner.’
‘Is that a proposal, my lord?’
‘That is a proposal, Miss Grey. Will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?’ Nick stepped back, leaving her free, as though he did not want to constrain her answer any more than her person.
Tallie dropped a neat curtsy. ‘Thank you, my lord. I accept with all my heart.’
The sensation that this must be a dream—an impossible, wonderful dream—was swept away as Nick swooped and caught her up in his arms, carried her through into the attic and, setting her on her feet, proceeded to kiss her with a thoroughness that even the most torrid dream could not conjure up. This was indeed real.
Tallie finally managed to free herself and hold him off with both hands hard on his chest. ‘Nick, tell me truly, will your family be very shocked at such a misalliance? Because if they will be I could not bear to be the cause of any coldness between you.’
‘My aunt loves you already, William adores you like a sister, my assorted great-aunts and great-uncles who have yet to meet you will congratulate me upon securing such a charming bride and my dear mama, who is nursing a collection of completely imaginary ailments in Bath, will dote upon
