Did she dare? He was so big and proud and she didn’t really know what to do. Swallowing down her nerves, she took him between her thumb and forefinger and began to stroke him up and down with a featherlight motion which nearly made him shoot off the bed.
‘Madonna mia! Where did you learn to do that?’ he gasped.
She guessed it might destroy the mood if she explained that car mechanics were often blessed with a naturally sensitive touch. Instead, she enquired in a husky voice which didn’t really sound like her voice at all, ‘Do you like it?’
‘Do I like it?’ He swallowed. ‘Are you crazy? I love it.’
So why was he halting her progress with the firm clamp of his hand around her wrist, if he loved it so much? Why was he was blindly reaching for the wallet which he’d placed on the nightstand? He was pulling out a small foil packet and Keira shivered as she realised what he was about to do. This might be the craziest and most impulsive thing which had ever happened to her—but at least she would be protected.
He slid on the condom and she was surprised by her lack of fear as she wound her arms eagerly around his neck. Because it felt right. Not because he was rich and powerful, or even because he was insanely good-looking and sexy, but because something about him had touched her heart. Maybe it was the way his voice had softened when he’d asked her those questions about Christmas. Almost as if he cared—and it had been a long time since anybody had cared. Was she such a sucker for a few crumbs of affection that she would give herself completely to a man she didn’t really know? She wasn’t sure. All she knew was that she wanted him more than she’d ever wanted anything.
‘Matteo,’ she said as he pulled her into his body.
His eyes gleamed as he looked down at her. ‘You want to change your mind?’
His consideration only made her want him more. ‘No,’ she whispered, her fingertips whispering over his neck. ‘No way.’
He kissed her again—until she’d reached that same delicious melting point as before and then he moved to straddle her. His face was shadowed as he positioned himself and she tensed as he made that first thrust and began to move, but although the pain was sharp it was thankfully brief. She saw his brow darken and felt him grow very still before he changed his rhythm. His movements slowed as he bent her legs and wrapped them tightly around his waist so that with each long thrust he seemed to fill her completely.
As her body relaxed to accommodate his thickness, Keira felt the excitement build. Inch by glorious inch he entered her, before pulling back to repeat the same sweet stroke, over and over again. She could feel her skin growing heated as all her nerve-endings bunched in exquisitely tight anticipation. She could feel the inexorable build-up of excitement to such a pitch that she honestly didn’t think she could take it any more. And then it happened. Like a swollen dam bursting open, waves of intense pleasure began to take her under. She felt herself shatter, as if he needed to break her apart before she could become whole again, and she pressed her mouth against his sweat-sheened shoulder. Dimly, she became aware of his own bucked release as he shuddered above her and was surprised by the unexpected prick of tears to her eyes.
He pulled out of her and rolled back against the pillows to suck in a ragged breath. With a sudden shyness, Keira glanced across at him but his eyes were closed and his olive features shuttered, so that suddenly she felt excluded from the private world in which he seemed to be lost. The room was quiet and she didn’t dare speak—wondering what women usually said at moments like this.
Eventually he turned to her, his eyebrows raised in question and an expression on his face she couldn’t quite work out.
‘So?’
She wanted to hang on to the pleasure for as long as possible—she didn’t want it all to evaporate beneath the harsh spotlight of explanation—but he seemed to be waiting for one all the same.
She peered up at him. ‘You’re angry?’
He shrugged. ‘Why should I be angry?’
‘Because I didn’t tell you.’
‘That you were a virgin?’ He gave an odd kind of laugh. ‘I’m glad you didn’t. It might have shattered the mood.’
She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. ‘Aren’t you going to ask me why?’
‘You chose me to be your first?’ His smile now held a faint trace of arrogance. ‘I could commend you for your excellent judgment in selecting someone like me to be your first lover, but it’s not really any of my business, is it, Keira?’
For some reason, that hurt, though she wasn’t going to show it. Had she been naïve enough to suppose he might exhibit a chest-thumping pride that she had chosen him, rather than anyone else? ‘I suppose not,’ she said, her toes moving beneath the rumpled bedclothes in a desperate attempt to locate her only pair of panties.
‘I just hope you weren’t disappointed.’
‘You must know I wasn’t,’ she said, in a small voice.
He seemed to soften a little at that, and brushed back a few little tufts of hair which had fallen untidily over her forehead. ‘Sì, I know. And for what it’s worth, it was pretty damned amazing for me, too. I’ve never had sex with a virgin before but I understand it’s uncommon for it to be as good as that the first time. So you should feel very pleased with yourself.’ He began to stroke her hair. ‘And you’re tired.’
‘No.’
‘Yes,’ he said firmly. ‘And you need to sleep. So why don’t you do that? Lie back and let yourself drift off.’
His words were soothing but Keira didn’t want to sleep, she wanted to talk. She wanted to ask him about himself and his life. She wanted to know what would happen now—but there was something in his voice which indicated he didn’t feel the same. And mightn’t stilted conversation destroy some of this delicious afterglow which felt so impossibly fragile—like a bubble which could be popped at any moment? So she nodded obediently and shut her eyes and within seconds she could feel herself drifting off into the most dreamy sleep she’d ever known.
Matteo watched as her eyelashes fluttered down and waited until her breathing was steady before removing his arm from where it had been resting around her shoulders, but, although she stirred a little, she didn’t waken. And that was when the reality of what he’d done hit him.
He’d just seduced a member of staff. More than that, he’d taken her innocence.
Silently, he cursed. He’d broken two fundamental rules in the most spectacular way. His chest was tight as he switched off the lamp and his mind buzzed as he attempted to ignore the naked woman who lay sleeping beside him. Yet that was easier said than done. He wanted nothing more than to push his growing erection inside her tight body again, but he needed to work out the most effective form of damage limitation. For both of them.
He stared up at the shadowy ceiling and sighed. He didn’t want to hurt her and he could so easily hurt her. Hurting was something he seemed to do to women without even trying, mainly because he couldn’t do love and he couldn’t do emotion—at least that was what he’d been accused of, time after time. And Keira didn’t deserve that. She’d given herself to him with an openness which had left him breathless and afterwards there had been no demands.
But none of that detracted from the reality of their
