didn’t tell a soul.” I allowed anger to color my voice. “How can you think I would jeopardize my own life?”
“Why should I believe you? The only other person who knew was the Commander.”
“Well, Valek, you’re the spymaster. Couldn’t someone have overheard the conversation? Who else has access to this room? You left your notes in full view on your desk.” Before he could leap to another wrong conclusion, I hurried on. “They were conspicuous. If I noticed them with just a quick glance, then they begged for inspection to someone seeking information.”
“What are you saying? Who are you accusing?”
A ridge of flesh grew above Valek’s nose as his eyebrows pinched together. Alarm flashed across his face before being doused by his stone guise. His fleeting expression told me a great deal. Either Valek had been so convinced that I had gossiped to the servants that he hadn’t considered other options, or he couldn’t accept the possibility of a breach in his security. For once I had thrown him off balance, if only for a second. Someday I would dearly love to see him in an ungainly heap at my feet.
“I have my suspicions,” I said. “But I’ll accuse nobody without proof. It’s unfair, and who would believe me?”
“No one.” Valek snatched a gray rock from his desk and hurled it toward me.
Stunned, I froze as the stone whizzed past and exploded on the wall behind me. Gray debris pelted my shoulder and rained to the floor.
“Except me.” He sank into a chair. “Either I’m addicted to risk or you’re starting to make sense and we have a leak. An informer, a gossip, a mole. Whoever he is, we need to find him.”
“Or her.”
Valek frowned. “Do we play it safe and find another fugitive? Or cancel the exercise? Or continue as planned and make you both fugitive and bait? Enticing our spy to reveal himself.” He grimaced. “Or herself.”
“You don’t think Brazell will come after me?”
“No. It’s too soon. I don’t expect Brazell to try to kill you before his factory is up and running. Once he gets what he wants, then it’s going to get interesting around here.”
“Oh good. I can barely stay awake now from all the boredom.” My voice dripped with sarcasm. Only Valek would consider an attempt on my life a fascinating diversion.
He ignored my remark. “It’s your choice, Yelena.”
My choice wasn’t contained in one of Valek’s scenarios. My choice was to be someplace where my life wasn’t in danger. My choice was to be where I didn’t have an assassin for a boss, and some unknown person trying to make my already intense life even more complicated. My choice was freedom.
I sighed. The safer course of action was the most tempting, but it wouldn’t solve anything. I had learned the hard way that avoiding problems didn’t work. Run and hide were my trademark impulses, which only led to being trapped in a corner with no recourse other than to blindly strike out.
The results were not always favorable. The lack of control unnerving. My survival instinct seemed to have a mind of its own. Magic. The word floated at the edge of my mind. No. Someone would have noticed by now. Someone would have reported me. Or would he if that someone was Brazell? Or Reyad?
I shook my head, banishing the thoughts. It was in the past. I had more immediate concerns. “Okay. I’ll dangle on the hook to see what fish swims out. But who’s going to hold the net?”
“I will.”
I let out a slow breath. The tight feeling around my stomach eased.
“Don’t alter your plans. I’ll take care of everything.” Valek picked up the paper with my name on it. He dipped the corner of the page into a lantern, setting it on fire. “I should probably follow you to the fire festival tomorrow night. Unless logic has made you decide to turn down Rand’s offer and stay in the castle.” He let the burning paper float to the floor.
“How did you—” I stopped. I wasn’t going to ask. It was well known that he didn’t trust Rand, so I shouldn’t be surprised that Valek had an informant in the kitchen.
Valek hadn’t said I couldn’t go. I made a sudden decision. “I’m going. It’s a risk. So what? I take a risk every time I sip the Commander’s tea. At least this time I might get a chance to enjoy myself.”
“It’s hard to have fun at the festival without money.” Valek crushed the dying embers of the paper under his boot.
“I’ll manage.”
“Would you like an advance on your wage as fugitive?”
“No. I’ll earn the money.” I didn’t want Valek to do me any favors. I was unprepared for thoughtfulness from him. For Valek to soften even a little might destroy our strange tug-of-war relationship, and I was reluctant for it to alter. Besides, thinking kind thoughts about Valek could be extremely dangerous. I could admire his skills, and be relieved when he was on my side in a fight. But for a rat to like the cat? That scenario ended only one way. With one dead rat.
“Suit yourself,” Valek said. “But let me know if you change your mind. And don’t concern yourself about the books. Read all the books you want.”
Heading back to my room, I paused with my hand resting on the doorknob. “Thanks,” I spoke to the door, unwilling to look at Valek.
“For the books?”
“No. The offer.” My eyes traced the wood grain.
“You’re welcome.”
The castle hummed with activity. Smiling servants rushed through the corridors, laughter echoed off the stone walls. It was the first day of the fire festival, and the castle’s staff hurried to complete their chores so they could attend the opening celebration. Their excitement was contagious, and even after a restless night of sleep, I was beginning to feel like a child again. Determined to push the ugly image of someone stalking me at the festival to a far, dark corner of my mind, I allowed myself to savor the anticipation of the evening’s events.
I fidgeted through an afternoon lesson with Valek. He was trying to teach me how to spot a tail. It was mostly commonsense advice, and some techniques that I had already read about in one of his books, and my mind wandered. I wasn’t planning on looking over my shoulder all night. Sensing my mood, Valek ended the session early.
Soon after, I grabbed a clean uniform and the colored ribbons Dilana had given me and headed toward the baths. At this time of day, the steaming pools were empty. I washed fast, and sank into one of the baths. Inching my way into the hot liquid, I let each muscle relax, oohing and aahing until the water reached my neck.
Only when the skin on my fingers began to wrinkle did I leave the water. I had been avoiding the mirror for a month. Now, curious, I scanned my reflection. Not as skeletal, although I needed to gain some more weight. My cheeks were hollow and my ribs and hipbones poked through my flesh. What had once been dull, uncombable black hair now shone. The scar on my right elbow had turned from bright red to a deep purple.
Swallowing, I looked far into the mirror. Had my soul returned? No. Instead,
