I’ll admit it—I totally lost it. But you did, too.”
He held up both hands. “I agree. I am not ready to be a father.”
“Same here. The idea of a child using the ‘m’ word gives me the willies.”
He stared into her beautiful face and touched her cheek. “You’ll be a great mom. You have all the qualities.”
“Thanks. I feel the same way about you being a dad.”
Before he could tell her he’d already failed at that, she added, “If I had to totally freak out over this, I’m glad it was with you.”
“Me, too.”
There was something about her smile and the way she gazed at him. Something that drew him closer until, without planning the move, he pressed his mouth against hers.
The kiss started out simply enough. Just lips touching. He continued to stroke her cheek, but that was okay because he meant it to be a friendly, comforting gesture. Nothing about the action was supposed to be sexual.
Then she shifted closer and tilted her head slightly. The invitation was clear and irresistible. Fire exploded inside him, fueled by a need that he could barely contain.
Before he could tell himself he shouldn’t, he touched his tongue to her lower lip. Even as she put her hands on his shoulders, she parted for him.
Despite his growing desire, he moved slowly, wanting to give her time to back away, or at least give him a good hard slap. He traced the inside of her lower lip, feeling her smooth skin and tasting her sweetness. When she didn’t pull back, he gently touched the tip of her tongue with his.
Delicious, exquisite torture, Noelle thought as Dev leisurely deepened their kiss. If she’d been a little more sure of herself, she would have taken things into her own hands, so to speak, but this was their first real kiss and as he’d been the one to initiate it, she figured he could set the pace.
In a way, moving so slowly was good. It gave her time to explore his shoulders and back, to feel the lean muscles there, and the heat of his body. She could breathe in the scent of him and imagine what it would be like if they kept on kissing.
At last he swept into her mouth and claimed her. She sighed in appreciation as he explored her mouth, leaving behind excited tingling everywhere he touched. One of his hands dropped to her shoulder, the other settled on her waist where the weight was oddly unsettling. She had the oddest urge to move closer and maybe nudge his hand higher. She was so shocked to realize that she wanted his hand on her bare breast that she pulled back.
They stared at each other. His dark eyes were bright with a light she hadn’t seen before. Passion, she wondered. Did he desire her?
What was up with her body? She’d kissed before—lots of times. But she couldn’t recalling feeling quite so…melty afterward. And the breast thing? Where had that come from? Jimmy had been the first. It hadn’t been that big a deal. She’d never imagined feeling his fingers on her bare skin.
Just the thought made her break out in goose bumps. As she rubbed her bare arms she realized that the light was fading in Dev’s eyes. It was replaced by something that looked like concern…or worse…second thoughts.
He was going to apologize, she thought desperately. No. She couldn’t stand that. The kiss had been too good.
“I’m starved,” she said with a bright smile. “It’s nearly noon. Do you have time to grab lunch before you head back to work?”
He blinked at the change of topic. For a second she thought he was going to push forward and insist on discussing the kiss, but then he smiled.
“Sure. What are you in the mood for?”
A week later, Noelle sat in Dev’s study and pretended to review her calculus homework. He’d brought home a few reports he’d needed to look at before morning, so she’d joined him on the pretext of finishing up her homework.
In truth, she’d already finished, but she’d wanted to hang out with him and couldn’t think of another excuse. Something had changed between them, at least for her, and she was still trying to figure out what it was.
She could pinpoint the exact date everything had shifted—it had been the afternoon of her first doctor’s appointment. Sometimes she thought it was because he’d kissed her in a way she’d never been kissed before. Not that the style was all that different—it was more her own reaction that was keeping her up nights. Other times she told herself that while the kiss was nice, it didn’t mean all that much. The real bonding had occurred over their shared revelation that they were really having a baby together. That this situation was about more than logistics and details—that there would be another life involved.
They’d laughed together, panicked together and had found comfort in sharing the experience.
Whatever the cause, Dev was no longer just Jimmy’s older brother, the man who was being kind to her in desperate circumstances. He was his own person. Someone she liked and respected. Someone who could make her toes curl with a smile.
She had several dilemmas, she thought as she glanced up at him from her corner of his leather sofa. Had anything changed for him? Did he see her as only a problem to be solved, or was she a real person? She thought he liked her well enough, but she wanted more than that. She wanted him to find her sexy and attractive and exciting.
She sighed. She could rate attractive easily enough on a good day, but sexy and exciting weren’t words usually used around her.
There was also the age difference. She knew he was aware of it. So did he find her too young? She thought she was doing a good job of holding her own with him, but that was just from her perspective. So what did he think?
Her mother had always told her it was much better to ask than wonder, that being straightforward was the best way to make a relationship work. The advice seemed sound, but the thought of putting it into practice terrified her. Wishing and dreaming were totally safe. Acting was something else entirely.
What if he completely rejected her? What if he thought she was stupid? What if he laughed at her?
Dev looked up and caught her staring at him. He raised his dark eyebrows. “What?” he asked.
“Nothing.”
“It’s something. You were scowling.”
She grinned. “I do not scowl. It’s not ladylike and I was brought up to be a lady.”
“Fine. You were pensive. Want to tell me why?”
She bit down on her lower lip and wondered if she had the courage to be honest. Or at least semihonest. “I was wondering about the other women in your life.”
The eyebrows went a little higher and he leaned back in his chair. “I take it the calculus homework isn’t challenging enough to keep your brain occupied.”
“Not tonight.”
“And the most interesting topic you could come up with was the women in my life?”
“Uh-huh.”
“You
