still wanted her, even after all this time.
When he’d stolen that kiss from her, he’d wanted more. He remembered that kiss clearly, touching her face, the taste of her lips and the sound of the small sigh that had escaped her lips when they’d parted.
Her cheeks had been flushed pink and those blue eyes had dilated with desire.
In that moment he’d wanted more, but her sister had walked in and Ella had run away.
And then he hadn’t seen her at the Christmas party, hadn’t seen her before he’d left to go back to Annapolis, which he’d thought was for the best. Only he could never get that kiss out of his head. It was the only kiss he’d never forgotten.
Ella was the one who’d got away.
But he couldn’t have her. He didn’t want to tie her to a broken shell of a man. Didn’t want to marry any one ever. He didn’t want family. He didn’t want to risk his heart to have it destroyed. With love came pain and as he’d served tours of duty he’d seen a lot of pain and suffering. The idea of losing someone he loved that much scared him to his core, because he saw the pain when a parent buried a child.
When a husband buried a wife.
The pain and loss of life.
And he’d experienced it. He’d been too close to it. His heart began to race.
“So, why are you working tonight?” he asked, trying to steer his thoughts away from the painful trajectory they were taking.
“I wasn’t supposed to be working tonight. The storm hit and I’m stuck here.” There was a hint of happiness in her voice and he couldn’t help but laugh at that.
“You sound relieved,” he said.
“I am! You know how my mother’s parties go. We all dress up in...” Her voice trailed off and she cleared her throat. “They’re a dreadful bore.”
Zac thought she was going to talk about the terrible dresses that Mrs. Lockwood seemed to like to force her children to wear. The dresses that Ella had worn when she’d been a teenager had never been flattering and he knew that she’d been the butt of many jokes.
She’d been short and had had baby fat. Of course, he’d never noticed the dress. Only the woman. The girl he’d kissed, his best friend.
That baby fat had transformed into luscious curves and as he studied her sitting on the cot he couldn’t help but let his mind wander to what was under those dark blue scrubs that she wore.
Oh, God.
“Well, if it’s any consolation I think that your mother’s parties were a touch more popular than my mother’s parties ever were.”
She cocked a finely arched blonde brow. “How so?”
“Your mother’s parties were never filled with barely controlled hatred between your parents. Passive aggressive digs at infidelity. Pinched and forced smiles. Awkward.”
Ella chuckled. “Oh, the polite fight, you mean? And they weren’t always. Before...”
“You mean before it came out my father had an affair and a secret love child?”
Ella blushed. “Yes, before that. Before Miranda. Your parents were happy.”
Zac sighed. Yeah there had been a time his parents had been happy, but it was hard to remember the way things used to be. And he wouldn’t trade Miranda for anything, but trust had been shattered after that and the family dynamic had changed.
And Zac had lost respect for his father and become ever more determined to forge his own way in this world.
“True, before that came to light they were happy.”
“My parents aren’t perfect. There have been many of those polite fights. ‘Henry, dear, perhaps you shouldn’t wear that color to the dinner, it clashes with the carpet.’ ‘Sylvia, dearest, what I’m wearing is fine, it’s all that plastic surgery affecting your eyesight.’”
They both laughed at that.
“How are our mothers friends again?” Zac teased.
“It’s called frenemies, I believe. They’re frenemies.”
“That’s it.” Then he yawned.
“Tired?”
“I didn’t sleep well last night,” he said.
“You’ve been working hard since you came on board,” she said.
“Look who’s talking.”
“True, still you really do look beat.”
“I’m fine,” he said. “Though you just came off a long shift. I really shouldn’t be complaining.”
Ella scooted over. “Come on, the floor can’t be comfortable. At least you can be slightly comfortable as we wait for our rescue.”
* * *
Ella didn’t know what she was doing. She should just leave him on the floor, but he was suffering.
A part of her was glad that he was, but it was small. It was just that vindictive part that she had. The bitter part that still remembered the humiliation he’d doled out to her.
“When are you going to pop the question to Ella Lockwood, Davenport?”
“Pop the question?” Zac asked.
“Yeah, you hang out a lot with her.”
“She’s going to medical school. We have that in common,” Zac said dryly.
“Come on, Davenport, it must be more than that!”
Zac laughed. “I have no interest in ever marrying a pampered society princess.”
Ella shook that internal dialogue out of her head. It was dialogue that had always eaten away at her. For years and years. It was her own personal demon she had to fight. Zac had utterly humiliated her in that moment.
After that stolen kiss she’d wanted more from him, but he’d broken her heart. Still, his dismissal of her had caused an awakening.
That night she’d discarded the clothing her mother had picked for her and had done her hair and makeup to her liking and not her mother’s. She mostly preferred to go without makeup and forgo the hideous designer dresses. For the first time in her life she’d felt like the person she’d always been hiding.
The person she’d been afraid to show.
His dismissal of her had given her the drive to excel. To prove to him and the rest of the world she was more than a pampered society princess.
To be more than the world her parents moved in, expected of her. She hadn’t wanted to be a society wife and mother.
