He leaned back in his chair, wincing as he got settled. “You’ve changed, too.”
“Have I?” She grabbed his medications chart and wrote in his dose. “I feel like the only one who hasn’t changed around here.”
“You grew up.” His voice was low and quiet. “When I left, you were a kid.”
“When you left, I was a woman,” she replied evenly. She’d been twenty-two when he left for the army, and that hardly constituted a “kid.” But she’d never looked quite as womanly as Nina had. Nina had eclipsed her quite easily, it seemed, all pouty lips and swaying hips. Kaitlyn hadn’t had a chance. She had been a tamer version of her sister in every way. Her hair was dark auburn compared to Nina’s fiery red, and her figure was slim, her breasts smaller, her expression direct and frank. Nina had a way of looking up through her lashes that stopped men in their tracks. When Kaitlyn was a teenager, she’d tried to imitate her older sister’s sultry pout in the mirror, and she’d cracked herself up. She looked ridiculous, and she’d decided then and there to simply be herself—a brave stance for someone in the shadow of Hope, Montana’s sexiest available woman.
But not so available anymore.
While Kaitlyn had resented what her sister did to Brody, having Nina both married and moved to the city had been a strange relief. For the first time in her life, Kaitlyn felt like she could breathe a little deeper, expand a little more. With Nina in the room, there had hardly seemed to be enough oxygen for the both of them—and what Nina wanted, Nina got.
“Last year I missed our dads’ birthdays,” Brody said after a moment. “I kept thinking of the feast you all would be eating.”
Kaitlyn’s father, Ron, and Brody’s father, Ken, had birthdays in the same week. The men had been close since elementary school. For as long as Kaitlyn could remember, both families had been celebrating those February birthdays together with a trail ride and a massive meal.
“Last year half of us got food poisoning, so you weren’t missing out on as much as you thought,” she replied with a wry smile. “Someone thought clams would be a great birthday meal. Wow. It was bad... The trail ride didn’t happen. Brian landed in the hospital with some Gravol on IV.”
“You emailed me about that.” His smiled slipped, and she knew what he was thinking. She shouldn’t have mentioned Brian. She grimaced.
“Nothing had happened then between Brian and Nina—that I knew of, at least,” Kaitlyn said. “We were all friends with Brian, you know that.”
“Yeah. Solid guy.” Brody’s tone dripped sarcasm, and Kaitlyn couldn’t blame him.
They remained silent for a couple of minutes, and Kaitlyn remembered how different everything had been a year ago. They’d been proud of Brody, and scared for him. They’d been happy about Nina and Brody’s engagement. Nina had spent hours staring at the ring on her finger, and Kaitlyn had been determined to sort through her own feelings of jealousy privately. She was happy for her sister—of course, she was—and she’d never really believed that Brody would look twice at her with Nina in the same hemisphere anyway. But it still stung, knowing she was destined to be half in love with her brother-in-law for the foreseeable future.
“Are you all still doing the trail ride this year?” Brody asked.
“I imagine so,” Kaitlyn replied. “It’s tradition, isn’t it?”
“Good,” he said. “I’m going to ride, too.”
Kaitlyn frowned, silently considering the options. Trail rides were narrow and bumpy, and she couldn’t responsibly give him enough pain meds to dull that kind of agony. He seemed to read her thoughts.
“It isn’t hard riding by any stretch. You know that, Kate. I’ve been riding since before I could walk, and I’m not sitting back at the house with the cooks.”
“You’ve earned a rest,” she said. “You’re the resident hero, after all.”
“Don’t use that word with me.” His voice turned gruff and stony. “I’m riding. Period.”
There was no invitation for discussion. He’d been through a nightmare in Afghanistan, and she could only guess at the memories he carried with him. He wanted to heal and recover, and that solidity of mind was important. They’d just have to work toward his goal. Even if he wasn’t strong enough to ride in time, he’d at least have something to work toward. And once it got closer to the trail ride, he’d be able to see the futility of putting his body through that kind of punishment. There was no use in breaking his spirit now.
“You want to ride?” she said with a smile. “All right. That’s our goal. Let’s see what we can do.”
“Good.” Brody smiled faintly. “And I’m serious, Kate. Don’t go easy on me.”
“I had no intention of it,” she retorted. “I’ll be a regular drill sergeant. You’ll think longingly of your boot camp days.”
Brody chuckled, then sighed. “Why am I so tired all of a sudden?”
“It’s the pills. Sleep is good for you. Get some rest.”
Brody nodded and leaned his head against the back of the chair. She quelled the urge to brush a hand against his forehead. She didn’t want to go hard on Brody—she wanted to give him the safe, warm place to heal that he so desperately needed, but he didn’t want those things from her. That had been Nina’s domain.
Kaitlyn would have to get over these feelings for him, because a future with Brody was an absolute impossibility. Before it was because he was engaged to her sister, and now, even with Nina safely out of the picture, anything developing between them was equally impossible.
Kaitlyn had lived in her sister’s shadow her entire life, and she refused to stay there in the heart of the man she loved.
On the fireplace mantle, a tattered slip of red paper caught her eye. She paused, stepped closer to look and a lump rose in her throat as she recognized it—a kid’s vintage Valentine’s card that she’d slipped into his luggage before he left for boot camp. They used to joke about the little sayings on those cards—corny lines that could end up being eerily prophetic. So she’d slipped one in his bag that said, “You’re brave, Valentine.” It went along with a joke they’d shared that it took a big man to take on a woman as high maintenance as Nina was. She thought he’d get a laugh out of it...but it looked like he’d done one more than that, and had kept it.
Kaitlyn shut her eyes against the wave of emotion. How she’d longed to say more than “You’re brave.” She’d wanted to say, “You hold my heart.” She’d wanted to say, “Do whatever you have to in order to get back here alive.”
For now, she’d do her duty and get Brody back in the saddle, or as close to it as she could. And maybe in the process, she’d be able to work through a few of these feelings and put them to rest for good. She had some healing to do, too.
Brody woke with a start, his heart thudding hollowly in his ears. The dream was still fresh in his mind—fire, explosions, fear mingling with his training. In his dream, he pulled himself across the dusty ground, a trail of fresh blood behind him, and he grabbed at Jeff’s hand,
