Leo decided as he finally drifted off to sleep, really had terrible taste in men, because if it was a husband and babies she wanted, what on earth was she doing here with him?
Lizzie woke to the sound of Leo’s phone buzzing and listened as he took a call from Ethan.
‘I can see them when I get into work …’ Leo yawned, his hand moving to Lizzie and stroking her bottom, their almost row forgotten, his mouth working the back of her shoulder as Ethan spoke on. ‘I don’t care if it’s the end of the working day in the Solomon Islands …’ He put his hand over her mouth to stifle Lizzie’s giggle. ‘Okay,’ Leo snapped. ‘I’ll take a look now.’ He let out a long sigh as he ended the call. ‘Ethan wants me to go over some details on a patient he thinks the clinic might be able to help.’
‘Is he coming over?’
‘I’m afraid so. My brother with a cause is like a …’
‘A what?’
‘I don’t know.’ Leo yawned. ‘I haven’t had a coffee yet.’
‘I’ll get us one.’ Lizzie would far prefer he got back to kissing her, but she could use a coffee too.
‘Actually …’ Leo’s voice was rarely tentative. ‘He’ll be here soon.’
‘Getting kicked out without so much as a coffee!’ Lizzie kept her voice light but there was an edge to it she couldn’t hide as she climbed out of bed.
‘You’ve said many times that you don’t want anyone at work knowing.’
‘I know.’
She didn’t want anyone at working knowing.
What was the point?
It would be over soon. It was bad enough trying to get over a guy like Leo, without the world watching, guessing your reaction, asking how you felt.
They were in this strange arena.
Caught somewhere between a fling and a relationship.
Only relationships Leo didn’t really do, except it was starting to feel a lot like one. Lizzie was staying at his place most nights and when they decided otherwise, when Lizzie had gone out with friends and come home to her apartment, Leo had caved at one a.m. and called her and ended up coming over to hers.
And as for a fling, yes, it might feel like that way to Leo, but her heart was saying otherwise.
Stupidly Lizzie was close to tears as she took her toothbrush from his cupboard and her deodorant and, after the quickest wash, pulled her dress on.
‘Lizzie …’
He was at the bathroom door, two coffees in hand as she pulled her hair back into a ponytail and fiddled with it for something to do. She was wearing a tight black dress with a high neck. Last night she’d had a smoky grey top over it, but now he could see her bare arms and the slight shake of her hand as she pulled a couple of strands of hair out and tried to make herself look, to commuters’ eyes, as if she was going to work, rather than going home after a night not spent in her own bed.
‘I found this.’ He handed her a missing earring.
Yes, they were at the precipice and it had come far more rapidly than either had thought it might.
All or nothing and neither wanted to make that choice.
She put in her earring and then fiddled with her hair as he stood behind her in the mirror, his trousers on, his chest bare, though she did everything she could not to look. She would give anything rather than have him see her with tears in her eyes over them.
‘Have your coffee.’ He put a mug down beside the sink.
‘It’s fine,’ Lizzie said. ‘I’ll grab one on the way.’
‘Lizzie.’
Her teeth gritted but to prove she wasn’t upset she took a drink.
‘Would it be so terrible if Ethan found out?’ Leo asked.
‘I don’t think terrible is the word,’ Lizzie said. ‘More …’ she thought for a moment, ‘… awkward.’
‘I’m sure he’s not going to go shouting it to all the staff …’
Which was the whole damn point, Lizzie thought, and she turned to him. ‘Would it be so terrible if he did?’
‘No,’ Leo said carefully. ‘As you said, it might just make things a bit awkward.’
‘Why?’ Lizzie frowned. ‘Is it awkward when Abbie and Rafael are there?’
‘Of course not,’ Leo said. ‘They’re a team, they’re married …’ He closed his eyes, not sure where this row had come from, not sure he deserved the label of bad guy here. ‘I’m just thinking of you,’ Leo said. ‘You’re the head nurse and—’
‘It might not look so good that I’m shagging the boss?’
‘Lizzie.’
‘You’re right.’ Lizzie turned around. ‘It is better that I go before Ethan gets here—it would make things terribly awkward if he found out, so thanks for the coffee but, no, thanks.’ She brushed past him and sat on the sofa and pulled on her boots and then added the grey top and coat and scarf. ‘We should have done this in summer.’
‘Sorry?’
‘It’s not very easy to make a rapid exit in the middle of winter. I’ll be climbing down the fire escape at this rate,’ she said, picking up her bag.
‘I don’t know what’s going on here, Lizzie.’ As always, he got to the point. ‘I’ve said stay, I’ve said let Ethan know …’
‘I know.’ She breathed out loudly. This anger in her stomach just had to be released, she just wanted to get away from him.
‘Come over tonight,’ Leo said, and he did something he never had before. ‘I’m operating this afternoon.’ He took a key from the dresser in the hall. ‘Just …’ Those stupid tears were back as she watched him close her fingers around the metal. ‘Let yourself in.’
She wanted to argue, wanted to tell him she didn’t want his key, that it was killing her to get closer, that there was more and more she’d have to give back—the key, the suit he’d left at her flat, the cufflinks, the tie, and there were her favourite shoes under his bed. She couldn’t end it and leave them here. And there were a couple of movies she’d brought over …
‘See you.’ She almost turned her head as he went to give her a kiss but he captured her cheeks and kissed her properly, nicely, deeply, and then, before he asked her a question, he wisely held her wrists.
‘Are you getting your period?’
She almost went to lift her hand but his grip tightened and she gave a wry smile at his foresight. She was in a dangerous mood, an unpredictable mood.
