Hewitt wouldn’t let me into your room …’ He always had and always would make her smile. ‘I’m across the hall. Can I sneak over?’
‘I can’t have sex here, Leo. It would be like doing it at home.’
‘We’ll be very quiet,’ Leo said, pressing his knee into hers, ‘but we’ll have to do it on the floor or we’ll self-combust with those nylon sheets.’ He saw the glitter of tears in her eyes even as she laughed. ‘How was your mum?’ he asked, as the second course was served.
‘I was just sitting there feeling sorry for myself that I’d missed Paris with you, but then she smiled and thanked me for being there. She really did recognise me.’
‘Worth it, then,’ Leo said, and it was without even a trace of sarcasm.
‘Yes.’
‘But it doesn’t make it easier.’ His insight shocked Lizzie. ‘That she does know that you’re there sometimes must make you wonder if she misses you when you’re not.’
Lizzie nodded and she felt his hand on her cheek but she moved her face, she just couldn’t pretend it wasn’t agonising. ‘The thing is …’ Soup was a terribly hard ask and she shredded her roll instead and wondered how best to tell someone you desperately wanted to be with that it hurt too much to pretend. How to tell him that she loved him, which meant she couldn’t have sex with him because it came with her heart attached and it was soul-destroying, trying to guard it. ‘The thing is,’ Lizzie started again. ‘You remember when we said it might be awkward, us working together—I think, if we prolong things, we could get to that stage and I still want to work at the clinic so I think we need to—’
‘It isn’t awkward for Rafael and Abbie.’
‘No,’ Lizzie said, ‘but they’re a real couple. Leo …’
‘If we were married, would it be less awkward?’
Lizzie’s eyes jerked up, sure he was teasing, that she was supposed to give some witty reply—but she was all out of them.
‘Please, don’t joke.’
‘If you knew how nervous I was, you’d know I wasn’t joking. Look.’ He showed her a small mark on his chin. ‘I cut myself shaving.’
‘Wow!’
‘I mean it,’ Leo said. ‘I want you to marry me.’
‘Leo?’ She didn’t understand. ‘You don’t want to get married. You don’t want be tied down …’ She giggled at his expression. ‘You know what I mean, Leo. I have commitments.’
‘I know,’ Leo said, and Lizzie blinked because he didn’t seem fazed.
‘Of course, I have to get the mix better, I realise that, but when my parents need me …’
‘You’ll be here when they do,’ Leo said. ‘Lizzie, I’m never going to ask you to choose me over them.’ He saw the doubt in her eyes and decided to smooth-talk his way around it. ‘Lizzie, look at the positives—I have no parents, yours are in a home, we’re never going to have to do that awful juggle-the-parents on Christmas Day that other couples have to. I am selfish, but I’m not that selfish that I would keep you from them. We can do it,’ he said. ‘I’m here, aren’t I? On Valentine’s Day.’
He was.
‘I want to be with you,’ Leo said. ‘That’s all I know. I’ve never come close to feeling the way I do and I never thought I would. It’s true, what you said. I’ve messed up every relationship I’ve ever been in—I just know that I’m not going to mess things up with you.
‘I love you,’ he confessed. ‘I don’t know what you do to me, Lizzie—I practically told Ethan I loved him last week …’
‘You should tell him properly.’
‘Yeah, one day.’ He looked at her. ‘You know there can be no secrets between a husband and wife …’
‘Oh, Leo, you shan’t get me that way, I’ve been nursing long enough to know there are plenty of secrets between most husbands and wives.’ Then she was serious. ‘Please don’t ask me about Ethan.’
She watched his jaw tighten, wondered if he’d falter at their first hurdle.
‘I won’t.’ He gave her his word and looked up as Howard came over with their desserts.
‘Not for us, thanks,’ Leo said.
‘But you ordered three courses.’
‘We’re full.’
Leo took her by the hand and led her up the stairs. ‘You can’t do that,’ Lizzie hissed.
‘Well, if I’m going to be staying here at times, they’d better get used to me—I can do that!’ Leo said, and Lizzie glowed inside as she realised he’d meant every word he’d said back there. The thought of him staying here with her, through all the difficult times to come, made the world suddenly so much easier.
‘Let’s melt those sheets,’ Leo said, as she let him into her room. ‘Oh, Lizzie.’ He tutted as he went through her bag of contraband and found her wine and chocolate and tragic movie, and she winced when he pulled out the tissues. ‘You did miss me.’
He kissed her to the bed, and she wasn’t sure if it was the nylon sheets or just the Leo effect but every hair on her skin stood up as he undressed her as they slid into bed.
‘Like an old married couple,’ Leo said, only he wasn’t leaning over to turn off the lamp; instead, he was picking it up.
‘What are you doing?’ Lizzie asked.
‘I forgot my ophthalmoscope. I’m going to find out what you’ve had done and then you’re going to tell me who did it.’
He parted her legs and the Hewitts would have had a fit if they’d known where he shone that lamp. ‘Labiaplasty?’ Leo said. ‘If it was, she did a fantastic job.’ Lizzie was laughing so hard, turned on so much and so just happy that she nearly forget to tell him the truth.
‘No,’ Lizzie said, as his fingers admired the handiwork. ‘I mean, no, I haven’t had any surgery.’
‘You lied?’ Leo was a touch incredulous. Of all the things he’d wondered, Lizzie lying to him hadn’t entered his head, and to Leo’s surprise he found himself smiling. ‘You looked me in the eye and you lied.’
‘I did!’ Lizzie smiled back.
‘Why?’
‘I wanted the job, I thought you might think I would be a bit more empathetic to the patients.’
He laughed and then he was serious because a more empathetic person you could not meet.
Only Lizzie could have saved his heart.
Yes, the bed creaked terribly and Lizzie didn’t come quietly. She wanted to wear dark glasses as they
