What kind of jacket do I need?’
He smiled. ‘Dress up warm.’
She raised her eyebrows and ducked back into her bedroom, pulling out a pair of red leather gloves and a red woolly hat with a huge pom-pom on top and big flaps to cover her ears. She stuffed it on top of her blonde hair and pulled on a thick black jacket and fleecy black boots.
It was freezing in London. Not wet or drizzly. It was completely dry, just very, very cold.
‘I’m ready.’ She marched into the kitchen and took a quick drink of the coffee Iain had made for her. It wasn’t a skinny caramel latte, but he’d made it perfectly. Maybe this was all just a little too good to be true.
Iain held the door open for her. ‘Then let’s go. Time to have some fun.’
They rode on the Tube and got off at Tower Hill. They walked out of the Tube station and round the corner to face the impressive façade of the Tower of London.
‘We’re going sightseeing?’
He nodded. ‘I haven’t been yet. I’ve been in London two years and I’ve hardly seen a thing.’ He walked up to the ticket booth. ‘Do we want to see the Crown Jewels too?’
She didn’t hesitate for a second. ‘Absolutely. It’s my favourite part.’
He took their tickets and reached out to take her hand as they walked towards the main entrance, where impressive Beefeaters in their black and red outfits stood.
Iain stopped for a few seconds. ‘Wow. It’s some place. Have you been here much?’
She nodded. ‘Not as much as you think. Last time was around eight years ago.’ She stopped and looked back at the impressive White Tower. ‘Why did you pick here?’
He looked a little sheepish. ‘I actually wanted to go to Buckingham Palace but I didn’t realise it’s only open in the summer for tours.’
‘It’s fabulous.’ Something tickled in her stomach. July would be the time for the tours to start at Buckingham Palace. That was five months away. ‘Maybe we can go some other time.’
‘Maybe.’ It sounded so noncommittal and she tried not to feel disappointed. Iain had already told her he didn’t know where this would go.
She pulled him further along where she could see a small crowd gathering. ‘Let’s listen to one of the Yeoman tours. They know everything about the Tower’s history, it’s great fun.’
They joined the crowd and waited for a few minutes for the tour to start. Lexi was right. It was fascinating. He’d never realised just how treacherous a place the Tower of London had been. He watched as the Yeoman showed them where the boats used to moor with their prisoners and royal victims at Traitor’s Gate. He showed them the place where the two young princes were supposedly imprisoned and perhaps killed.
Lexi leaned her head against his shoulder as they listened to the tour. There was a young woman next to her, trying to juggle three kids—a baby in a pouch next to her breasts, a toddler strapped into a buggy and a four-year-old who was looking distinctly bored and kept wandering off. The woman looked tired and was struggling to hear what the Yeoman was saying. Lexi touched her arm and gave her a smile. ‘If it’s okay with you, how about I entertain your oldest for a little while?’
The woman nodded and gave her a grateful smile. They were standing on Tower Green. Lexi could walk about freely and still be safely in the mother’s sight.
She walked over and bent down next to the dark-headed little girl. Her heart gave a squeeze. The little girl was gorgeous. Her hair was in bunches and wearing a purple coat. ‘Hi, there. I’m Lexi. How about I tell you some stories about this place?’
The little girl scowled at her. Lexi pointed over at her mother. ‘Your mum says it’s okay.’ She gave her mother a wave. ‘What’s your name.’
‘Lucy.’
Lexi held out her hand. ‘Good. I’m Lexi. Pleased to meet you.’
Lucy gave a sigh. ‘My feet are sore and Damian is in the buggy.’ She rolled her eyes.
Lexi held out her hands. ‘Fancy a carry?’
Lucy’s eyes brightened and she let her herself be lifted into Lexi’s arms. As the tour moved along little by little, Lexi stayed only a few feet away from the mother, whispering in Lucy’s ear and pointing out various things along the way.
Iain watched carefully. Lexi seemed so at ease. She was obviously used to children. She’d already told Iain about her work at the Chinese orphanage and everything she did showed him her natural affinity for children.
A heavy feeling started to descend over him. Lexi was his first step back to a normal life. He’d promised her nothing.
She spun Lucy backwards in her arms, letting her lean back and throw her arms out, imitating the ravens around about them. Their hair flew outwards as they spun, the smiles on their faces completely and utterly spontaneous. Lexi was a natural.
And he didn’t like it.
It was a horrible admission. But Iain hadn’t planned on thinking such thoughts on what he’d wanted to be a nice day out.
But watching Lexi was making him ache. He was wasting his time with her. Here was a woman who had the word ‘mother’ stamped all over her. What would she think when she found out what he’d done? If she’d any sense at all she would run in the other direction.
What woman would want to be with a man who’d persuaded his wife to take the final chance of IVF that had led to her death?
He looked around Tower Green. Families everywhere. Families happy and smiling. And he knew. He knew he could never set foot in a delivery room again. Not after his last experience.
And Lexi would want a family of her own. How could he explain? She was kneeling on the ground with Lucy right now, telling her some long and obviously gory tale by the actions she was doing. Right on cue, Lucy’s mouth formed a wide O. She slapped her hand across her mouth as Lexi let out a peal of laughter.
Right before his eyes was the reason he should stop all this. He could never be the man that she needed.
But Lexi turned and pushed her hat further back on her head. Her blonde hair was sticking out all round and she shot him the most dazzling smile. The Yeoman was reaching the end of the walking tour at the Medieval Tower.
She mouthed over to him, ‘Crown jewels?’
He nodded. She’d already told him it was her favourite part. They joined the queue with Lucy’s mother behind them. She was looking calmer, more relaxed. She leaned over and whispered to the two of them, ‘It’s dark in here, isn’t it? The two little ones will fall asleep as soon as we get inside.’
They queued quietly as Lexi started to whisper stories of secret princesses to Lucy. The inside of the display was dark, surrounded by armed guards, who were happy to talk to the visitors about some of the jewels on display.
Lucy’s little face gaped at the huge glittering Cullianan diamond in the sovereign’s sceptre.
‘I
