her head, pinning him with her gaze. Stay, her glare said. See how much my baby needs his mama, the only constant in his life right now.
Except, she hadn’t expected to see her silent demand register on Alek’s expression quite so clearly. She lowered her eyes quickly to her son’s face, stumbling over her words. “Wh-which is why I n-never asked him to.”
Chase swiped at his cheeks. “That don’t make sense, Mama.”
“Doesn’t make sense, and no, I know it doesn’t. But, see—your daddy always said he’d do anything for me. So how could I ask him to quit doin’ the one thing he loved most? That would’ve killed him, or just about, because it would’ve killed his soul.” She cupped Chase’s jaw in her hands, wishing she could kiss away the owie the way she used to when he was little. “I just couldn’t do that to him, baby.”
Her son just looked at her long and hard for several seconds, then asked, “When’s it gonna stop hurting, Mama? When’s the pain gonna go away?”
His plea echoed through the icy hollowness where her heart was supposed to be. She pulled him into a fierce hug, pressing kisses into his unkempt hair. He didn’t return the embrace, which tore her up inside even more, but no way was she going to let go. “I don’t know, baby. All I know is, it will. Eventually, it will.”
It had to, or her heart was going to plumb crack right in two.
Alek cleared his throat. Chase jumped, whirled around, plastering his bony little body against Luanne’s.
“I didn’t mean to upset you.” He lifted his gaze, briefly, to Luanne’s. “Either of you.” His crisp accent only added to the edginess crackling around them. “I would never have done anything to purposely hurt your father. Or you.”
Luanne touched Chase’s head. “Alek got hurt in that crash, too—”
“Yeah, but he’s alive! Daddy’s not!”
“Chase—!”
“It’s all right,” Alek said gently, if a little stiffly. But like he was making an effort, at least. “I understand what he’s feeling—”
“No, you don’t!” Chase’s hands fisted at his sides; his thin frame feeling brittle underneath Luanne’s hands. “You can’t!”
The child’s pain vibrated in the room like a living thing as Luanne watched compassion flood features more sharply defined than a decade before, features she hadn’t really gotten a good look at until this point, what with the sheer shock of seeing him again combined with all these emotions and worries clawing at her. She’d seen photos, of course, during the past decade, photos she’d deliberately sought out, just to prove to herself…
About a hundred miles underneath her misery, memories stirred and stretched. She refused to pay them any mind.
Then she noticed that Alek had crouched down in front of the boy, his hands resting on his knees, not even blinking when Chase recoiled further against her. She could tell Alek was as much at a loss as she was. Maybe more so. That he was scared, too, and maybe more than a little confused. His attempt to comfort a strange child when it was obvious the whole situation made him highly uncomfortable impressed her in a way she would not have thought possible ten minutes before.
And if it was a bad thing to feel a little relief at having someone take the burden from her shoulders, even for a minute, well then, the world would just have to deal with that.
“I lost both my parents when I was sixteen, Chase,” Alek said. “And for a very long time, I felt as if someone had poured acid into my gut, it hurt so badly. So, yes…I do know what you’re feeling.”
Luanne decided Chase’s silence was better than his arguing. Alek straightened up, a slight shake of his head halting her apology for her son.
Well. Now what? She kneaded Chase’s knobby shoulders through his T-shirt for an awkward second or two, then turned him around and handed him a tissue from the pocket of her overalls. “Here. Blow.”
“I’m not a baby,” he grumbled, swiping his hand across his cheek.
“Did I say that?”
Chase glowered at her, but took the tissue anyway and honked into it, after which Luanne suggested he go get himself some breakfast.
“I’m not hungry.”
“You need to eat something, honey—”
“I said, I ain’t hungry!”
Irritation flashed inside her, so hot and fierce it scared her half to death, adding a walloping dose of guilt to her emotions. She’d never once laid a hand on her child. Yet now, when she most needed to have control over herself, there were times when it was everything she could do not to smack him for what, in any other child, she would have called out-and-out insolence. He knew how much she detested that particular backwoods expression, one that wealth and success had never been able to eradicate from Jeff’s speech, either.
But this was not the time to call him on it.
“Fine,” Luanne said in a shaky voice, turning her attention to the dog and away from the pair of astute silver eyes that she wished would just take their astuteness and go away. “But Bo is. So go fill his dog dish, then go on outside and play ball with him for a little while, before it gets any hotter.”
To her amazement—and immense relief—Chase did as he was told.
Minor crisis resolved for the moment, she turned to the much bigger one standing far too close for her comfort. She did not wish him to find her wanting, which she feared he would if he studied her hard enough and long enough. But, oh, she was so weary. Crossing her arms, she leaned heavily against the wall. “I think it’s pretty obvious Chase can’t take any more stress right now.” She looked at him directly. “And, frankly, neither can I.”
Alek’s mouth went thin and tight. “I’m not turning my back on my son.”
“But you said—”
“And I meant it. I’m not here to take him away.”
The determined set to his features told another story, however. “Then what, exactly, do you have in mind?”
A pause, then he said, “There didn’t seem much point in formulating a plan until we’d talked things through.”
Luanne had nothing to say to that, which seemed to rattle Alek. Again, he swiped a hand through burnished dark-brown hair much shorter now, though still long enough to defy taming. Just like him, she imagined. He glanced away, then back, his brow pleated. “I’m flying completely blind here, Luanne. I know the timing couldn’t be worse on this, but…” His mouth twisted in frustration. “Chase isn’t just my son. He’s my heir. Not just to a throne, but a sizable fortune as well.”
“We don’t need your money.” Might as well get that point cleared up, right now. “Jeff left enough for us to live comfortably on for some time. I finally got my degree, too, a couple years ago. Once I get my certification, I can start teaching as soon as this one’s old enough to go into daycare.” Another stab to her heart: she’d opted to stay home for Chase, had fully intended to do the same with the new baby. Now, however…
