I was beginning to learn that Alexandria’s thought process could go any which way, and sometimes her most direct route connected two seemingly unconnected dots. This was one of those moments.
“Remember, I’m a single mom; I worry about my daughters all the time.” Alexandria explained that Melissa was straight, worked hard, paid her bills, was looking for a nice guy, and had decided, after graduating from Oregon State University, that she preferred the Pacific Northwest and its lifestyle. She was working as an assistant editor for an innovative boutique publisher, The Intelligent Press.
Her sister Shanti had declared she was gay about two years ago, had dropped out of college, and had held a string of low-paying, dead-end jobs as she traveled from town to town, seeing the United States.
“I’m not upset about the gay thing. That’s a lifestyle preference; Shanti’s a grown woman and has the right to make her own choices. I’ve always tried to balance being a caring mother with disciplined values, while at the same time allowing my daughters the freedom to grow through personal experience. But Shanti is very lazy. She figures I make good money and has no problem with me subsidizing her…regularly. She’s got a bit of her father and stepfather in her. Whenever she needs money, a thousand dollars here, two thousand dollars there, I give it to her. The other night I finally said enough is enough. I’m sending you one more check. That’s it.”
“What did she say?”
“I told her, ‘You’ve got to be like everybody else in this world. Go out, get a steady job, and stand on your own two feet. Just like your mom and sister do.”’
“Sound, practical advice. How did she respond?”
“Horribly. First, Shanti got irrational and vindictive, said I loved Melissa more — that I never wanted her in the first place. Then she became downright nasty, claiming my failed marriages to ‘two worthless younger husbands’ invalidated heterosexual relationships. She then explained the benefits of gay relationships: ‘Partners are carefully chosen for the right reasons — love and loyalty; they are less promiscuous and more faithful; they are better listeners and more sensitive to their partner’s needs.; Then she slammed the phone down and hasn’t returned a call since.”
~
I had no idea what had just happened. All she said was, “Just hold me.” We sat silently for a couple of minutes, then she said, “Thank you; time for this girl to get home.”
We walked to her car at the end of the parking lot. She looked up. The stars were twinkling brightly in the clear night sky. “My goodness, what a beautiful night.”
I put my arms around her waist. She put hers around mine. I hugged her. She hung on for dear life. “God, why is life so complicated?”
We kissed gently. Alexandria got into her car as I stood and watched. My cellphone started to ring. I didn’t want to answer. She rolled the window down and smiled, “Hey, come here, you.”
I did as she said. “Don’t you answer when Madam rings?” She got out of her car and kissed me again — this time a bit more intensely.
15.
Going to Hawaii, alone…
Lauren decided MJ’s emotional fragility required her to miss her first AFA advisor conference in two years. It was in Hawaii, and she felt he shouldn’t be left alone that far away for seven days.
We had a session with Dr. Sherry to weigh the pros and cons. In the end, he concluded MJ had made little progress in the past year, so pushing him at this stage could do more harm than good.
MJ’s timing was most unfortunate. We had spent six months planning AFA’s biggest and most expensive thank you ever — 1000 of our top advisors and their spouses were being feted for six days at the opulent new Four Seasons on the Big Island of Hawaii. Former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani was our keynote speaker, and the Beach Boys were booked for a private concert.
From a purely personal standpoint, this was also my major coming-out party. I had ninety minutes of podium time to present four innovative, industry-leading programs we had developed and tested, and we’d made sure each presentation contained the same important subliminal message: AFA (post-Pete) was financially stronger than ever, more innovative than ever, and in very capable management hands.
With the long hours and the familial stress, I had forgotten one important thing. All the advisor entertaining had grown my neck size from 16 to 16½. I needed a few new dress shirts and ties before I got to the podium. I told Courtney to adjust my schedule because I needed to leave early and go shopping the next day. She led me to believe there was nothing important on the calendar that couldn’t be shifted.
On my way home that afternoon, my cell phone rang. It was Alexandria. “Blowing me off again?”
“What are you talking about?” I said.
“I was on your calendar to get a sneak preview of what you were presenting at the conference, so I’d look like I knew what I was doing. But Courtney called me an hour ago to say we had to reschedule after the conference.”
“Look, I don’t know anything about that. All I know is that Lauren bailed on the conference, and she’s tied up working late, and I need two new shirts and ties because I’m getting too fat.”
I could smell the wood burning on the other end of the phone. “Did you ever read the book Whenever God Winks by Reverend Jonas Bond?”
I’m stuck in a torrential rainstorm, traffic is moving at a snail’s pace on the FDR, and this zany broad wants to talk about some crazy book? I knew if I hung up, she’d call me back! “No, Alexandria, can’t say I have.”
“Reverend Bond says when one door closes, it’s because he just opened another one. Don’t you see? I am going to help you shop, and you’re going to fill me in.”
The idea didn’t sound half bad: shopping with some attractive eye candy on my arm. Besides, based on the way she dressed, she’d probably do a better job of color coordination than I would alone. It was just the “business fill-in” part that sounded like it could be painful.
“Hey! Are you still there? Calling Martin, calling Martin. Yoo hoo.”
“Saks Fifth Avenue,” I blurted.
“Perfect,” she said. “ I need a new pair of Jimmy Choo’s for the Giuliani opening-night black-tie dinner dance.”
~
We had a great time shopping for me. She asked me what color the suits were; then she began looking at every shirt on the floor, in price categories ranging from expensive to very expensive.
“May I help, madam?’ said the well-mannered, very gay salesman.
“Pleaaase, I’m fine,” responded Alexandria curtly as she rummaged through the counter and glass racks.
“Come here; I think we have just the right thing for your gray pin-striped suit.” She placed a Giorgio Armani fawn-camel shirt on my chest. “Perfect. I also think I found the tie to match. See, it’s got some black, muted grays, and touches of yellow to accent the shirt. Look in the mirror.” There was no question it was an attractive
