The Essential E. F. Benson: 53+ Titles in One Volume (Illustrated Edition). E. F. Benson
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Dodo welcomed all this as a sign of grace, and was only too happy to meet her husband half-way. He had been a trifle melodramatic on the previous evening, but we are all liable to make mountains out of molehills at times, she thought. Personally her inclination was to make molehills out of mountains, but that was only a difference in temperament; both implied a judgment at fault, and she was quite willing to forgive and forget. In a word, she was particularly nice to him, and when breakfast was over she took his arm, and led him away to her room.
"Sit down in that very big chair, old boy," she said, "and twiddle your thumbs while I write some notes. I'm going to see Mrs. Vivian this morning, and your lordship may come in my ladyship's carriage if it likes. Is lordship masculine, feminine, or neuter, Chesterford? Anyhow, it's wrong to say your lordship may come in your carriage, because lordship is the nominative to the sentence, and is in the third person—what was I saying? Oh, yes, you may come if it likes, and drop me there, and then go away for about half an hour, and then come back, and then we'll have lunch together at home."
"I've got to go to some stupid committee at the club," said Chesterford, "but that's not till twelve. I'll send your carriage back for you, but I sha'n't be able to be in at lunch."
"Oh, very good," remarked Dodo. "I'm sorry I married you. I might be a lone lorn widdy for all you care. He prefers lunching at his club," she went on, dramatically, addressing the black virgin, "to having his chop at home with the wife of his bosom. How sharper than a serpent's tooth to have a thankless Chesterford!".
Dodo proceeded to write her notes, and threw them one by one at her husband as he sat contentedly by the window, in the very big chair that Dodo had indicated.
Dodo's correspondence was as varied as the collection of photographs on her mantelpiece. The first note was to her groom at Winston, telling him to have another riding-horse sent up at once, as her own particular mare had gone lame. It missed Chesterford's head, and fell with an ominous clatter among some bric-à-brac and china.
"That'll be a bill for you to pay, darling," said Dodo sweetly. "Why didn't you put your silly old head in the light?"
The next was a slightly better shot, and fell right side upwards on to Chesterford's knee, but with the address upside down to him. He looked at it vaguely.
"His Serene Highness who?" he asked, spelling it out.
"That's not grammar," said Dodo. "It's only to Prince Waldenech. He is Serene, isn't he? He looks it, anyhow. He was at the Brettons' last night. Austrian but amiable."
Chesterford was fingering the envelope.
"He's an unmitigated blackguard," he said, after a little consideration. "I wish you'd let me tear it up, Dodo. What on earth have you got to say to him?"
"I-shall have to write it again, dear, if you do," said she, conscious of bridling a rising irritation.
"He really is an awful brute," he repeated.
"Oh, my dear Chesterford, what does that matter?" asked Dodo, impatiently tapping the floor with the toe of her shoe. "It isn't my business to go raking up the character of people I'm introduced to."
"You mean you don't mind what a man's character is as long as he's agreeable."
"It isn't my business to be court inquisitor," she said. "Half of what one hears about people isn't true, and the other half—well, all you can say is, that it isn't exactly false."
Dodo could lose her temper very quickly on occasions, especially when she was in a hurry, as she was now.
"My dear Dodo, do you happen to know the story of—"
"No, I don't," she said vehemently. "Shall I seem rude if I say I don't want to? I really think you might find something better to do than tell scandalous stories about people you don't know."
"I know all I want to know about Prince Waldenech," said Chesterford, rising.
"You'll know more about him soon," remarked Dodo, "because I've asked him to stay at Winston. I suppose you think I wanted to make a secret about it. I have no such intention, I assure you."
"Is this note to ask him to come?" he inquired.
"Certainly it is," said Dodo defiantly.
"I may as well tear it up," said he. "I don't mean him to be asked, Dodo. I don't wish to have him in the house."
Dodo had lost her temper thoroughly.
"His being asked to Winston is immaterial," she said, with scorn in her voice. "You certainly have the power to prevent his coming to your house. Your power I must regard, your wishes I shall not. I can see him in London with perfect ease."
"You mean you attach no weight to my wishes in this matter?" said Chesterford.
"None."
"Will no knowledge of what the man is really like, stop you holding further intercourse with him?" he asked.
"None whatever, now!"
"I don't wish it to be known that my wife associates with such people," he said.
"Your wife does not regard it in that light," replied Dodo. "I have no intention of proclaiming the fact from the housetops."
To do Chesterford justice he was getting angry too.
"It's perfectly intolerable that there should be this sort of dispute between you and me, Dodo," he said.
"That is the first point on which we have not differed."
"You entirely decline to listen to reason?"
"To your reason, you mean," said Dodo.
"To mine or any honest man's.".
Dodo burst out into a harsh, mirthless laugh.
"Ah, you're, beginning to be jealous," she said. "It is very bourgeois to be jealous."
Chesterford coloured, angrily.
"That is an insult, Dodo," he said. "Remember that there is a courtesy due even from a wife to her husband. Besides that, you know the contrary."
"Really, I know nothing of the sort," she remarked. "Your whole conduct, both last night and this morning, has been so melodramatic, that I begin to suspect all sorts of latent virtues in you."
"We are wandering from the point," said he. "Do you mean that nothing will deter you from seeing this Austrian?"
"He is received in society," said Dodo; "he is presentable, he is even amusing. Am I to tell him that my husband is afraid he'll corrupt my morals? If people in general cut him, I