Original
NEIGHBOUR
But patience, if you please: attend I pray
You've no conception what I meant to say:
The playful fair was actively employ'd,
In plucking am'rous flow'rs—they kiss'd and toy'd.
WIFE
'Twas clearly I, howe'er, for her you took.
NEIGHBOUR
The flow'rs for bosoms quickly they forsook;
Large handfuls frequently they seem'd to grasp,
And ev'ry beauty in its turn to clasp.
WIFE
But still, why think you, friend, it was not I?
Has not your spouse with you a right to try
What freaks he likes?
NEIGHBOUR
But then, upon the ground
This girl was thrown, and never cried nor frown'd;
You laugh.—
WIFE
Indeed I do, 'twas myself.
NEIGHBOUR
A flannel petticoat display'd the elf.
WIFE
'Twas mine:
NEIGHBOUR
Be patient:—and inform me, pray,
If this were worn by you or her to-day?
There lies the point, for, if you'll me believe,
Your husband did—the most you can conceive.
WIFE
How hard of credence!—'twas myself I vow.
NEIGHBOUR
Oh! that's conclusive; I'll be silent now;
Though truly I am led to think, my eyes
Are pretty sharp, and much I feel surprise
At what you say; in fact, I would have sworn,
I saw them thus at romps this very morn;
Excuse the hint, and do not turn her off.
WIFE
Why, turn her off?—the very thought I scoff;
She serves me well.
NEIGHBOUR
And so it seems is taught;
By all means keep her then, since thus she's thought.
THE THREE GOSSIPS' WAGER
Original
AS o'er their wine one day, three gossips sat,
Discoursing various pranks in pleasant chat,
Each had a loving friend, and two of these
Most clearly managed matters at their ease.
SAID one, a princely husband I have got.
A better in the world there's surely not;
With him I can adjust as humour fits,
No need to rise at early dawn, like cits,
To prove to him that two and three make four,
Or ask his leave to ope or shut the door.
UPON my word, replied another fair,
If he were mine, I openly declare,
To judge from what so pleasantly you say,
I'd make a present of him new-year's day.
For pleasure never gives me full delight,
Unless a little pain the bliss invite.
No doubt your husband moves as he is led;
Thank heav'n a different mortal claims my bed;
To take him in, great nicety we need;
But howsoe'er, at times I can succeed;
The satisfaction doubly then is felt:—
In fond emotion bosoms freely melt.
With neither of you, husband or gallant,
Would I exchange, though these so much you vaunt.
ON this, the third with candour interfer'd;
She thought that oft the god of love appear'd,
Good husbands playfully to fret and vex,
Sometimes to rally couples: then perplex;
But warmer as the conversation grew,
She, anxious that each disputant might view
Herself victorious,
