Once a Week. A. A. Milne

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Once a Week - A. A. Milne

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said Myra, "and I should have screamed."

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      Myra finished her orange, dried her hands daintily on my handkerchief, and spoke her mind.

      "This is the third time," she said, "that Thomas has given us the slip. If he gets engaged to that girl in red I shall cry."

      "There are," I said, idly throwing a crust at Simpson and missing him, "engagements and Swiss engagements—just as there are measles and German measles. It is well known that Swiss engagements don't count."

      "We got engaged in Kent. A bit of luck."

      "I have nothing against Miss Aylwyn——" I went on.

      "Except the way she does her hair."

      "—but she doesn't strike me as being the essential Rabbit. We cannot admit her to the—er—fold."

      "The covey," suggested Myra.

      "The warren. Anyhow, she—— Simpson, for goodness' sake stop fooling about with your bearded friend and tell us what you think of it all."

      We were finishing lunch in the lee of a little chalet, high above the hotel, and Simpson had picked up an acquaintance with a goat, which he was apparently trying to conciliate with a piece of chocolate. The goat, however, seemed to want a piece of Simpson.

      "My dear old chap, he won't go away. Here—shoo! shoo! I wish I knew what his name was."

      "Ernest," said Myra.

      "I can't think why you ever got into such a hirsute set, Simpson. He probably wants your compass. Give it to him and let him withdraw."

      Ernest, having decided that Simpson was not worth knowing, withdrew, and we resumed our conversation.

      "When we elderly married folk have retired," I went on, "and you gay young bachelors sit up over a last cigar to discuss your conquests, has not Thomas unbent to you, Samuel, and told you of his hopes and fears?"

      "He told me last night he was afraid he was going bald, and he said he hoped he wasn't."

      "That's a bad sign," said Myra. "What did you say?"

      "I said I thought he was."

      With some difficulty I got up from my seat in the snow and buckled on my skis.

      "Come on, let's forget Thomas for a bit. Samuel is now going to show us the Christiania Turn."

      Simpson, all eagerness, began to prepare himself.

      "I said I would, didn't I? I was doing it quite well yesterday. This is a perfect little slope for it. You understand the theory of it, don't you?"

      "We hope to after the exhibition."

      "Well, the great thing is to lean the opposite way to the way you think you ought to lean. That's what's so difficult."

      "You understand, Myra? Samuel will lean the opposite way to what he thinks he ought to lean. Tell Ernest."

      "But suppose you think you ought to lean the proper way, the way they do in Christiania," said Myra, "and you lean the opposite way, then what happens?"

      "That is what Samuel will probably show us," I said.

      Simpson was now ready.

      "I am going to turn to the left," he said. "Watch carefully. Of course, I may not bring it off the first time."

      "I can't help thinking you will," said Myra.

      "It depends what you call bringing it off," I said. "We have every hope of—I mean we don't think our money will be wasted. Have you got the opera-glasses and the peppermints and the programme, darling? Then you may begin, Samuel."

      Simpson started down the slope a little unsteadily. For one moment I feared that there might be an accident before the real accident, but he recovered himself nobly and sped to the bottom. Then a cloud of snow shot up, and for quite a long time there was no Simpson.

      "I knew he wouldn't disappoint us," gurgled Myra.

      We slid down to him and helped him up.

      "You see the idea," he said. "I'm afraid I spoilt it a little at that end, but——"

      "My dear Samuel, you improved it out of all knowledge."

      "But that actually is the Christiania Turn."

      "Oh, why don't we live in Christiania?" exclaimed Myra to me. "Couldn't we possibly afford it?"

      "It must be a happy town," I agreed. "How the old streets must ring and ring again with jovial laughter."

      "Shall I do it once more?"

      "Can you?" said Myra, clasping her hands eagerly.

      "Wait here," said Samuel, "and I'll do it quite close to you."

      Myra unstrapped her camera.

      Half an hour later, with several excellent films of the scene of the catastrophe, we started for home. It was more than a little steep, but the run down was accomplished without any serious trouble. Simpson went first to discover any hidden ditches (and to his credit be it said that he invariably discovered them); Myra, in the position of safety in the middle, profited by Samuel's frequent object-lessons; while I, at the back, was ready to help Myra up, if need arose, or to repel any avalanche which descended on us from above. On the level snow at the bottom we became more companionable.

      "We still haven't settled the great Thomas question," said Myra. "What about to-morrow?"

      "Why bother about to-morrow? Carpe diem. Latin."

      "But the great tailing expedition is for to-morrow. The horses are ordered; everything is prepared. Only one thing remains to settle. Shall we have with us a grumpy but Aylwynless Thomas, or shall we let him bring her and spoil the party?"

      "She can't spoil the party. I'm here to enjoy myself, and all Thomas's fiancées can't stop me. Let's have Thomas happy, anyway."

      "She's really quite a nice girl," said Simpson. "I danced with her once."

      "Right-o, then. I'll tell Dahlia to invite her."

      We hurried on to the hotel; but as we passed the rink the President stopped me for a chat. He wanted me to recite at a concert that evening. Basely deserted by Myra and Samuel, I told him that I did not recite; and I took the opportunity of adding that personally I didn't think anybody else ought to. I had just persuaded him to my point of view when I noticed Thomas cutting remarkable figures on the ice. He picked himself up and skated to the side.

      "Hallo!" he said. "Had a good day?"

      "Splendid.

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