best friend. God dammit, I missed him so much more than I ever wanted to admit.
Mom, Dad, and I had been so close. I think when you are an only child – especially one your parents described as a miracle baby following years of struggling to conceive – your relationship with them is much more intense. My mom was the best, and she always had time for me. She encouraged me to develop my love of art and crafts, let me help when she decorated the house, and made me believe that anything was possible if you wanted it badly enough. Dad, a carpenter by trade, taught me how to use hammers and drills, and inspired me to use up any spare wood lying around in the garage to create whatever I wanted.
Our home was full of laughter, and love. Oh, how I longed to go back to that time, when everything was simple and uncomplicated… and when I had Cole.
But then the cancer came.
It permeated every minute of each day, as we watched Mom grow weaker and more unwell. And then she was gone, and I didn’t know what to do anymore. I was a shell, held carefully together by Cole’s tenderness, but then he was taken away from me too.
All because of my dad and Stephanie, Cole’s Mom.
Dad was just as lost as I was, and if it hadn’t been for Aunty Steph – who was not really an aunt, she was my Mom’s best friend – I think he would have disappeared wholly into his grief, too. And soon, everything changed; too much and too quick, and there was no way back.
Ali was right about that. I had to stop letting it take me over; it was in the past and I needed to find a way to make it stay there. Therapy would probably be the best bet, but dating suddenly seemed an easier option and cheaper at that.
I picked up my cell and clicked on the “Wooed and Won” app Alison had downloaded onto it. I grinned when I saw she had chosen a great picture of me, thank god. It was the one from my graduation from the Rhode Island School of Design. I looked so happy and proud. It was everything I had ever dreamed of, and I had worked so very hard for it – but as I looked closely at the snapshot, my grin faded, and I realized there was a haunted look in my eyes. I remembered seeing my fellow students with their families all around them that day, and having had a tiny pang of regret that my own would never know that I had achieved my dreams. I had convinced myself that it was their loss, but even now I was beginning to think it just might be mine.
I shook my head free of the memories and flicked the screen nonchalantly, scrolling past the list of names and pictures. I had been so right, and almost exited the app in disgust. Most were either complete sleaze balls or absolute nerds. A plethora of heavy-framed glasses and Lotharios with hairy chests and medallions gazed back at me. I laughed. What was that about in this day and age?
This was no way to meet the love of your life, like picking out a dress from a catalogue. The analogy made me smile. I so often tried to buy clothes online or from a catalogue because I hated to shop, but I sent most of them back because they just didn’t fit, or weren’t as nice as they’d looked in the pictures. It would appear that online dating would be much the same – yet if these guys looked any worse in the flesh, or were even more boring than their profiles suggested, yikes!
Just one profile stood out, a man of mystery it would seem. There was no picture, and that should have had me worried. I couldn’t help but wonder why a guy who sounded so confident and happy would leave his picture blank, but “Apollo” had chosen to do so. I rolled my eyes at the screen name he’d given himself, but couldn’t help feel even more intrigued. Maybe he wanted to stand out amongst the crowd, or maybe he was even sadder than the other nerds – and that would be saying something!
I studied the rest of his profile; it was sweet and engaged. He liked literature, and not just bro action thriller stuff. My eyebrows shot up as I read that he claimed to love Vanity Fair and Wuthering Heights, two of my all-time favorites. But maybe he was just bullshitting.
He listed that he enjoyed cooking and long walks, as well as being by the sea and water sports as passions. I could do without the long walks part, but I loved being by the sea. It always brought back happier memories of day trips when I was tiny. Sure he said he loved computers, and that had a few warning signals flashing in my mind, but I tried to remember that Cole had liked computers too, and he had been great in every way. Apollo was even a postgrad like me, though he surprisingly didn’t say what he was studying, just that he was at the university here in Providence.
I couldn’t help but read his details and think that he sounded too good to be true. I nibbled at my lower lip as my finger hovered over the little contact button.
There was no harm in at least saying hello, was there?
3
Cole
I jumped three feet in the air as my new cell vibrated loudly in my pocket, bashing my head hard on the roof of the truck. I’d only picked up the new phone yesterday, a little bonus gift from Callie for doing the work on the app, but I hadn’t had the time to work out the most basic of functions on it yet.
Mom told me to sit down with the manual and work it out, but I had laughed at her – it was such a female thing to do. I’d figure it out. One cell is pretty much like the next after all. I seemed to have lost my gadget obsession as I got older. In the past a new toy would have been dissected in moments, but I was just happy if they did what I needed them to now.
I rubbed my sore head distractedly as I yanked the phone out of my jeans pocket, struggling to make sure my change didn’t follow it out and all over the floor. I really needed new pants, or to hit the pool a bit more often. Just a few weeks in a demanding desk job, with no time to work out at the gym or the pool, had made me fill out slightly in ways I did not want. Though I was grateful that my torso still remained defined as ever, it wouldn’t take too much to get back into shape.
The shocking buzzing had heralded the arrival of an email from “Wooed and Won.”
That will absolutely be the last time I bet on Jake being prepared to eat anything, I thought.
After eating wings drenched in a cayenne pepper sauce and even a whole basketful of fried locusts, he had balked on a simple green olive. Apparently they were his kryptonite. I was sticking by my side of the deal though, but Callie had predicted pretty accurately that there was indeed an army of people who didn’t have the courage to ask anyone out on a date, and somehow her advertising had found all of them.
The app wasn’t exactly bursting with gorgeous, smart and sassy women. It was more of a haven for the quiet, clever, and unusual. Weeding out the candidates was proving tough. Sure they were smart, but social skills and hobbies in common seemed to be zilch, nada! I had already been forced to endure three of the worst dates of my entire life. I just had one left to go on and my end of the bet would be held up. I prayed that whoever had mailed me this time would be more interesting than the best of the bunch so far: a thirty-year-old librarian who collected and crocheted doilies.
Not wanting to crash, I decided to check it out later and jumped out of the cab of my beaten-up old truck and crunched my way up the gravel drive to the back gate.
The sun was still out, the sky a haze of pinks and darkening oranges as it dipped lower towards the horizon, and that meant that everyone would be out back. They’d enjoying the small swimming pool Tom had managed to get for a huge discount when a client at his work had offered to trade skills. Since its arrival the family had barely been found inside the house, they were so excited to have such a luxury. Tom and my mom were always out on the lounge chairs sipping mojitos
