churches; but it requires much grace, much self-denial, much saying over the same things, and the greatest watchfulness and faithfulness, in making use of one's time for prayer, meditation, and reading the Scriptures.—I had five answers to prayer today. 1. I awoke at five, for which I had asked the Lord last evening. 2. The Lord removed from my dear wife an indisposition, under which she had been suffering. It would have been trying to me to have had to leave her in that state. 3. The Lord sent us money. 4. There was a place vacant on the Dartmouth coach, which only passes through Teignmouth. 5. This evening I was assisted in preaching, and my own soul refreshed.
April 17. I preached again at Dartmouth. April 18. I am still at Dartmouth. I wrote to Brother Craik, that, the Lord willing, I should be with him at Bristol on the 21st. I preached again this evening, with especial assistance, before a large congregation. April 19. I awoke early, and had a good while to myself for prayer and reading the Word, and left happy in spirit for Torquay, where I preached in the evening with much help. The brethren are sorry, that, on account of my going to Bristol, my regular weekly preaching will be given up there for a while. I walked home after preaching, and arrived at Teignmouth at twelve o'clock.
April 20. I left this morning for Bristol. I preached with little power (as to my own feeling) in Exeter, from three till half-past four. At five I left for Taleford, where I preached in the evening, likewise with little power. I was very tired in body, and had had therefore little prayer. But still, in both places, the believers seemed refreshed. I went to bed at eleven, very, very tired.
April 21. This morning I rose a little before five, and attended a prayer meeting from a quarter past five, to a quarter past six. I spoke for some time at the meeting. Afterwards I prayed and read again with some believers, and likewise expounded the Scriptures. The Bristol coach took me up about ten. I was very faithless on the journey.
I did not speak a single word for Christ, and was therefore wretched in my soul. This has shown me again my weakness. Though the Lord had been so gracious to me yesterday, in this particular, both on my way from Teignmouth to Exeter, and from Exeter to Taleford, and had given me much encouragement, in that He made my fellow-travellers either thankfully to receive the word, or constrained them quietly to listen to the testimony; yet I did not confess Him today. Nor did I give away a single tract, though I had my pockets full on purpose. O wretched man that I am!
I would offer here a word of warning to my fellow-believers. Often the work of the Lord itself may be a temptation to keep us from that communion with Him which is so essential to the benefit of our own souls.—On the 19th I had left Dartmouth, conversed a good deal that day, preached in the evening, walked afterwards eight miles, had only about five hours sleep, traveled again the next day twenty-five miles, preached twice, and conversed very much besides, went to bed at eleven, and rose before five. All this shows that my body and spirit required rest, and, therefore, however careless about the Lord's work I might have appeared to my brethren, I ought to have had a great deal of quiet time for prayer and reading the Word, especially as I had a long journey before me that day, and as I was going to Bristol, which in itself required much prayer. Instead of this, I hurried to the prayer meeting after a few minutes' private prayer. But let none think that public prayer will make up for closet communion. Then again, afterwards, when I ought to have withdrawn myself, as it were, by force, from the company of beloved brethren and sisters, and given my testimony for the Lord (and, indeed, it would have been the best testimony I could have given them), by telling them that I needed secret communion with the Lord: I did not do so, but spent the time, till the coach came, in conversation with them. Now, however profitable in some respects it may have been to those with whom I was on that morning, yet my own soul needed food; and not having had it, I was lean, and felt the effects of it the whole day, and hence I believe it came that I was dumb on the coach.
April 22. This morning I preached at Gideon Chapel, Bristol. [Though this sermon gave rise to false reports, yet the Lord was pleased to bless it to several; and the false reports were likewise instrumental in bringing many individuals under the sound of the Word.] In the afternoon I preached at the Pithay Chapel. [This sermon was a blessing to many, many souls; and many were brought through it, to come afterwards to hear Brother Craik and me. Among others it was the means of converting a young man who was a notorious drunkard, and who was just again on his way to a public house, when an acquaintance of his met him, and asked him to go with him to hear a foreigner preach. He did so; and from that moment he was so completely altered, that he never again went to a public house, and was so happy in the Lord afterwards that he often neglected his supper, from eagerness to read the Scriptures, as his wife told me. He died about five months afterwards.] This evening I was much instructed in hearing Brother Craik preach. I am now fully persuaded that Bristol is the place where the Lord will have me to labour.
April 23. This evening I preached again with much assistance at Gideon. I was very happy. [The Lord made this testimony a blessing to several.] I feel that Bristol is my place for a while. The Lord mercifully teach me!
April 27. It seems to Brother Craik and myself the Lord's will that we should go home next week, in order that in quietness, without being influenced by what we see here, we may more inquire into the Lord's will concerning us. It especially appears to us much more likely that we should come to a right conclusion among the brethren and sisters in Devonshire, whose tears we shall have to witness, and whose entreaties to stay with them we shall have to hear, than here in Bristol, where we see only those who wish us to stay. Some asked me to stay with them while Brother Craik goes home. But it seems better that we should both go. [I observe here, it was evident that many preferred my beloved brother's gifts to my own; yet, as he would not come, except I came with him: and as I knew that I also had been called by the Lord for the ministry of the Word, I knew that I also should find my work in Bristol, and that though it might be a different one, yet I should fill up in some measure his lack, whilst he supplied my deficiencies; and that thus we might both be a benefit to the church and to the world in Bristol. The result has evidently confirmed this. I am, moreover, by the grace of God, strengthened to rejoice in my fellow-labourer's honour, instead of envying him; having, in some measure, been enabled to enter into the meaning of that word: "A man can receive nothing, except it be given him from above."]
April 28. It still seems to us the Lord's will that we should both leave soon, to have quiet time for prayer concerning Bristol. This afternoon I felt the want of retirement, finding afresh, that the society of brethren cannot make up for communion with the Lord. I spent about three hours over the Word and in prayer, this evening, which has been a great refreshment to my inner man.
April 29. I preached this morning with much outward power, but with little inward enjoyment, on Rev. iii. 14-22. [As it afterwards appeared, that testimony was blessed to many, though I lacked enjoyment in my own soul. May this be an encouragement to those who labour in word and doctrine!] This afternoon Brother Craik preached in a vessel called the Clifton Ark, fitted up for a chapel. In the evening I preached in the same vessel. [These testimonies also God greatly honoured, and made them the means of afterwards bringing several, who then heard us, to our meeting places. How did God bless us in everything we took into our hands! How was He with us, and how did He help us, thereby evidently showing that He Himself had sent us to this city!] Brother Craik preached this evening at Gideon for the last time previous to our going. The aisles, the pulpit stairs, and the vestry were filled, and multitudes went away on account of the want of room.
April 30. It was most affecting to take leave of the dear children of God, dozens pressing us to return soon, many with tears in their eyes. The blessing which the Lord has given to our ministry, seems to be very great.
We both see it fully the Lord's will to come here, though we do not see under what circumstances. A brother has promised to take Bethesda Chapel for us, and to be answerable for the payment of the rent: so that thus we should have two large chapels.-I saw, again, two instances today, in which my preaching has been blessed.
May 1. Brother Craik and I left this morning for Devonshire. May 2. I preached this evening at Bishopsteignton, and told the brethren,
