are all waiting for you, they can’t wait to see you. They have been waiting for days..-
-I am the same, the last part of the journey was never ending…-
-You look tired… -
-Yes, I’m tired. The journey was so long-
-The buggy is right outside the station. Here, put the capote on, it’s cold today. Giulia has made something to eat for you. She thought that probably you haven’t eaten all day-
Giulia.
Rudi smiled thinking about Giulia, so reliable and trustworthy, her pragmatism would show up in every situation. It was true, he hadn’t eaten for many hours and had not realised that up until that moment, he was so used to the hardship at the barricade. The smell that was coming out of the container got him suddenly hungry and while sitting on the buggy beside his brother-in-law, the first thing he did was to open the metal container and start eating.
The journey would last almost two hours. On the dirt road the stones would jolt the buggy and Rudi could not hide his pain .
-How are you?- Giovanni asked him, concerned about his suffering face
-Don’t worry, it’s okay, I’ll be fine once we get home-
The two horses were all wet with the rain and the sweat and trotted without being told where to head to. They knew the way because they did it so many times when they used to go to fairs and coming back was always happier than leaving, especially because when the weather was bad, they wished to enjoy the heat of the stable.
Giovanni wanted to ask him many questions but he realised that he was tired so he kept his questions to a minimum. Rudi himself, as soon as he was told that the family members were okay, much preferred the quietness.
They got there at lunchtime.
Antonino was the first one to see the buggy coming into the driveway. He had been going back and forth between the door and the kitchen window so many times that everybody was annoyed with that. He insisted that his father would bring him with him but Giovanni was not happy and he had to find something to do before their arrival at the house.
The women had been working hard since the early morning to cook the best food they could. Giulia was concealing her distress and her worry behind a busy quietness which would get her to check the pots on the fire, even though there was no need to, and look repeatedly at the window, even though she was well aware that it was far too early for them to arrive.
-Here they are, here they are!- Antonino’s voice was full of joy and everybody rushed towards the front door.
The children were outside in a flash and were jumping around the buggy before it would stop completely. Ada and Maria came out on the patio and Giulia stood at the door, as if she wanted to make sure that it was really him before running to him.
-Calm down, calm down- Giovanni was trying to calm them down and to protect Rudi from their enthusiasm.
-Be careful, your uncle is injured, be careful…-
Rudi bent over and was enjoying all their hugs, trying to shield his aching shoulder.
-Antonino, you are a man now…Clara…come here, give me a kiss…and you two are grown men.
When all the excitement quietened down, he managed eventually to say hello to Ada and Maria.
Giulia went over to him and was staring at him without saying a word. It did not take long to notice that her brother’s happiness was troubled by a trace of distress, which was rooted deep down to dispel his light heartedness. Rudi was extremely thin and he looked like a suffering young man. You could see a sincere joy in him but it was temporary, as if he left somewhere far the roots of lightness,
-Giulia!- he freed himself from all the arms that were around him and went over to her and they hugged without speaking.
The days he spent at home went by quickly, pampered by the adults with their loving care and by the children with their love. Despite a hot bath, a big dinner and the long-forgotten lovely smell of freshly washed bed sheets, he could not get rid of the heavy tiredness the first night. With his eyes closed, in the dark silence of his room, he tried to enjoy that peace but the void was soon filled by blasts and screams, groans and mud, till when the rotten face of one of his wounded fellow soldiers would give him a start, and he felt that he was falling into a well. All in a sweat, he opened his eyes wide and was clinging on to the bed covers in the attempt to stop that disastrous descent, his shoulder aching while trying to get something to hold on to. He was panting anxiously and was trying to calm down his heartbeat, hoping not to have shouted or woken anybody up.
At dawn he heard the first quiet sounds of the home. The light peeping through the windows helped him chase away the visions of the night before and he eventually managed to fall asleep. When he woke up, the older boys were already back from school and everybody was waiting for him for to have lunch.
Day after day he was getting back his strength and his natural colour was coming back. Giulia watched him carefully when he was looking at her, eager to knock down that unintentional wall which was painfully dividing her from him, looking for a crack that could let her in his troubled soul. Rudi felt that look trying to get into his silence and could painfully understand her concern. He pretended not to notice anything till when he managed to shake it off and take part in everyday life, letting her hope that sooner or later everything would be fine and it was just a matter of time.
His young body helped him recover soon and from his face seemed to have disappeared all the traces of his deep distress. After three weeks he told them that he was going to leave in advance because he wanted to spend a few days with one of his friends, before heading back to the battalion headquarters.
1 Chapter VIII
Rudi and Fosco in Milan
Fosco was waiting for him at the central station in Milan. Rudi was standing on the running board of the train and saw a lanky person towering over the crowd who was quickly looking at the carriage windows.
-Fosco!- he shouted his name, waving his hand.
His friend turned around and lifted his stick to greet him, smiling.
He was still limping.
-Old pirate, I thought you were not coming anymore. I am happy that you are here. How are you? How is everyone back home?-
-Yes, thank you…how are you? When are you going to get rid of this piece of wood? Or maybe it is a distinguishing feature….I bet it makes you look more interesting-
- For sure, all the beautiful girls in Milan are after me, especially those who are married!-
- Is there anyone left for me?-
- Don’t worry, I’ll spare someone for you-
They walked to the way out patting each other on the shoulders and laughing together like those people who have been waiting a long time to meet up, while the cold night on December 1st was slowing lit up by the lampposts along the road.
Fosco lived on his own. The house was located in the old part of the city and it was a small flat with three rooms, with books and magazines all over the place, it was a holy
