matters. Immodesty, said you: I shall be very sorry if this is so. You did not use to be immodest."
"Well, father, I hope I have not altogether laid aside modesty; otherwise it would be time for me to die, let alone to confess; but sure it cannot be modest of me to ride after a gentleman and take him a letter. And then that was not enough: I heard of a duel, and what did I do but ride to Scutchemsee Nob, and interfere. What gentlewoman ever was so bold? I was not their wife you know; neither of them's."
"Humph!" said the priest, "I have already heard a whisper of this; but told to your credit. Beati pacifici: blessed are the peacemakers. You had better lay that matter before me by-and-by, as your director. As your confessor, tell me why you accuse yourself of Luxury."
"Alas!" said the young lady, "scarce a day passes that I do not offend in that respect. Example: last Friday, dining abroad, the cooks sent up a dish of collops. Oh, father, they smelt so nice; and I had been a hunting. First I smelt them: and that I couldn't help. But then I forgot custodia oculorum; and I eyed them. And the next thing was, presently—somehow—two of 'em were on my plate."
"Very wrong," said Father Francis; "but that is a harsher term than I should have applied to this longing of a hungry woman for collops o' Friday. Pray what do you understand by that big word?"
"Why, you explained it yourself, in your last sermon. It means 'unruly and inordinate desires.' Example: Edith Hammersley told me I was mad to ride in scarlet, and me so fair and my hair so light. 'Green or purple is your color,' says she: and soon after this didn't I see in Stanhope town the loveliest piece of purple broadcloth? Oh, father, it had a gloss like velvet, and the sun did so shine on it as it lay in the shop-window: it was fit for a king or a bishop: and I stood and gloated on it, and pined for it, and died for it, and down went the tenth commandment."
"Ah," said Francis, "the hearts of women are set on vanity. But tell me, these unruly affections of yours, are they ever fixed on persons of the other sex?"
The fair sinner reflected. "On gentlemen!" said she. "Why, they come pestering one of their own accord. No, no; I could do without them very well. What I sinfully pine for is meat on a Friday as sure as ever the day comes round; and high-couraged horses to ride, and fine clothes to wear every day in the week: mea culpa! mea culpa!"
Such being the dismal state of things, Francis slyly requested her to leave the seven deadly sins in peace, and go to her small offenses: for he argued shrewdly enough that since her sins were peccadilloes, perhaps some of her peccadilloes might turn out to be sins.
"Small!" cried the culprit, turning red: "they are none of them small." I really think she was jealous of her reputation as a sinner of high degree.
However she complied, and putting up her mouth, murmured a miscellaneous confession without end. The accents were soft and musical, like a babbling brook; and the sins, such as they were, poor things, rippled on in endless rotation.
Now nothing tends more to repose than a purling brook; and ere long that Bassoon, her confessor's nose, let her know she had lost his ear.
She stopped indignant. But at that he instantly awoke (sublatâ causâ, tollitur effectus), and addressed her thus with sudden dignity:—"My daughter, you will fast on Monday next, and say two Aves and a Credo. Absolvo te.
"And now," said he, "as I am a practical man, let us get back from the imaginary world into the real. Speak to me at present as your director; and mind you must be serious now, and call things by their right names."
Upon this Kate took a seat, and told her story, and showed him the difficulty she was in. She then reminded him that, notwithstanding her unfortunate itch for the seven deadly sins, she was a good Catholic, a zealous daughter of the Church: and she let him know her desire to retire from both lovers into a convent: and, so freed from the world and its temptations, yield up her soul entire to celestial peace and divine contemplation.
"Not so fast," said the priest. "Even zeal is nought without obedience. If you could serve the Church better than by going into a convent, would you be willful?"
"Oh no, father. But how can I serve the Church better than by renouncing the world?"
"Perhaps by remaining in the world, as she herself does; and by making converts to the faith. You could hardly serve her worse than by going into a convent; for our convents are poor, and you have no means; you would be a charge. No, daughter, we want no poor nuns; we have enough of them. If you are, as I think, a true and zealous daughter of the Church, you must marry; and instill the true faith with all a mother's art, a mother's tenderness, into your children. Then the heir to your husband's estates will be a Catholic, and so the true faith get rooted in the soil."
"Alas!" said Catherine, "are we to look but to the worldly interests of the Church?"
"They are inseparable from her spiritual interests here on earth: our souls are not more bound to our bodies."
Catherine was deeply mortified. "So the Church rejects me because I am poor," said she, with a sigh.
"The Church rejects you not, but only the Convent. No place is less fit for you. You have a high spirit, and high religious sentiments; both would be mortified and shocked in a nunnery. Think you that convent walls can shut out temptation? I know them better than you: they are strongholds of vanity, folly, tittle-tattle, and all the meanest vices of your sex. Nay, I forbid you to think of it: show me now your faith by your obedience."
"You are harsh to me, father," said Catherine, piteously.
"I am firm. You are one that need a tight hand, mistress. Come now, humility and obedience, these are the Christian graces that best become your youth. Say, can the Church, through me its minister, count on these from you, or (suddenly letting loose his diapason) did you send for me to ask advice, and yet go your own way; hiding a high stomach and a willful heart under a show of humility?"
Catherine looked at Father Francis with dismay. This was the first time that easy-going priest had shown her how impressive he could be. She was downright frightened; and said she hoped she knew better than defy her director; she laid her will at his feet; and would obey him like a child, as was her duty.
"Now I know my daughter again," said he, and gave her his horrible paw; the which she kissed very humbly: and that matter was settled to her entire dissatisfaction.
Soon after that they were both summoned to supper; but, as they went down, Kate's maid drew her aside, and told her a young man wanted to speak to her.
"A young man!" screamed Kate. "Hang young men! They have got me a fine scolding just now. Which is it, pray?"
"He is a stranger to me."
"Perhaps he comes with a message from some fool. You may bring him to me in the hall, and stay with us; it may be a thief for ought I know."
The maid soon reappeared, followed by Mr. Thomas Leicester.
That young worthy had lingered on Scutchemsee Nob, to extract the last drop of enjoyment from the situation, by setting up his hat at ten paces, and firing the gentlemen's pistols at it. I despair of conveying to any rational reader the satisfaction, keen though brief, this afforded him: it was a new sensation; gentlemen's guns he had fired many, but dueling pistols not one till that bright hour.
He was now come to remind Catherine of his pecuniary claims. Luckily for him she was one who did not need to be reminded of her promises. "Oh, it is you, child," said she: "well, I'll be as good as my word." She then dismissed her maid,
