our ability to be empathic and utilize it in our everyday life. This point of view resonates deeply with me. I believe that while some people might have a genetic disposition to higher levels of hormones that trigger empathy,53 a more significant influence on developing empathy resides in our support networks, environments, experiences, cultural backgrounds, and interactions. My wife comes from a close-knit joint family with stronger bonds, while I come from a nuclear family.54 I have been fortunate to have had an influential empathic role model in my mother growing up; however, my wife has much more empathy than me, perhaps because of her more robust support structure and family bonds.
Lead with Empathy
Overwhelmed, angry, weary, confused, concerned, impatient—these feelings can paralyze organizations and people alike. But it doesn't have to be that way. Why not seize the moment and become the empathic leader that the world needs right now? Why not use this unique opportunity to focus everyone on strengthening our empathy muscles for the good of ourselves, our families, our communities, and our world, while we also proceed to pursue sorely needed systemic changes?
Each of us has a unique personality. That makes us different, but equally we all have lots in common and are connected in so many ways. We live in our own realities that are defined by our senses and our own experiences. But we are social beings and it is of utmost importance to our personal development to experience other people's realities. Our ability to communicate and understand our and other peoples' emotional states are keys to maintaining our relationships. When we observe someone experiencing joy or sadness, we are experiencing a similar sensation to a certain extent. Being empathetic means thinking further beyond ourselves and our own concerns. It shows our ability to put ourselves in another person's position to feel what they are experiencing.
Empathy is a very vital aspect of our daily lives. This is because it enables us to show compassion to other people, relate to our friends, loved ones, colleagues, and even strangers, hence affecting the world positively. As we embrace our role as empathic leaders, we also need to be cognizant of the difference between sympathy and empathy. Sympathy is driven by feelings of pity or concern for another person without really comprehending what it feels like to be in that person's situation. One can feel sympathy for homeless people, someone crying on the street, or painfully hobbling along with crutches on an icy footpath. However, empathy refers to the ability to imagine oneself in another's situation; experience the emotions, ideas, or opinions of that person; and take action to help reduce pain and suffering for the other person.
Empathic leaders are in short supply in the workforce as well. The stereotype of a workforce leader has been military in nature with no leeway for human emotions. This behavior suppresses any dredge of feeling in the workplace, and people are hesitant to demonstrate emotion lest they be judged weak and ineffective. It is imperative that we destroy this leadership stereotype if we want to enable our fellow humans. Genuinely understanding the need of team members, being sensitive to team needs, and selflessly striving to increase psychological safety in the organization are some benefits of an empathetic leadership style.
From a global perspective, empathy is infinitely important particularly if it ends in compassion. Empathy motivates people to step in and help those who have been struck by major disasters even if they are total strangers. Empathy brings out the best in us and improves the global quality of life. When you lead with empathy, you are empowering humanity in the face of adversity.
How This Book Is Structured
Simon Sinek transformed how leaders can inspire people to take action through his influential book, Start with Why. He has been a great inspiration to me. As a tribute to his influence on my personal thinking, I have espoused his powerful idea, The Golden Circle, to inspire and motivate humanity in these adverse times. Leading with Empathy is a call to action for becoming empathic leaders in a world that has suffered so much strife and misery.
In the first part of the book, I explore why humanity has undergone so much adversity in recent times. I start with the impact of the COVID-19 global pandemic and events since 2020. While it can be traumatic and painful to some, this first step of acknowledging why there is so much suffering in recent times is vital to our leadership transformation. I examine the impacts of COVID-19, unemployment, Black Lives Matter demonstrations, and the economic downturn. These topics could trigger bouts of pain, anxiety, suffering, loss, and sadness in many of us who have undergone adverse episodes, especially over the last year. My intent is not to generate pain; instead, it provides visibility to human suffering, and I profusely apologize in advance if these topics invoke pain for you. I dedicate a chapter to stress and anxiety, proffering insight into why the pain and suffering have impacted us profoundly in recent times. Part 1 is aptly called Adversity.
Figure 1.1 How this book is structured.
Part 2 of the book helps us understand how empathy has emerged as a panacea to combat the anguish and suffering that the world has undergone. I examine how elevated stress levels and anxiety affect us physically, mentally, and emotionally and how we can overcome the impact of stress and anxiety in our lives. I then discuss emotional intelligence and empathy. We take an in-depth look at the types of empathy, benefits, and impediments to empathy and how we can enable empathy in people.
I then present how empathic leadership can empower humanity in the face of adversity. I provide anecdotes, stories, and personal musings throughout the book to underscore the topics discussed and grant visibility to the suffering around us and how people have stepped up and led with empathy. I also share exercises and tips to reduce stress and anxiety and improve happiness and positivity.
The third part of the book is all about empowerment and what actions and steps we as empathic leaders can embrace and initiate to enable the workforce, people around us, and our loved ones in these challenging times. Empathy in organizations has been a passionate topic for me. One of my two primary beliefs is that happy people are productive people. I firmly subscribe to the idea that people will be happy when they are a psychologically safe and work in a positive organizational culture that nurtures trust, collaboration, and innovation that embraces failure. This necessitates enterprise and employee empathy. I examine what steps empathic leaders should take to promote empathy in the workplace, especially for a remote workforce—a relevant topic right now.
Throughout this book, I have tried to refrain from using many of the cliches that have become mainstream over the last few years. However, there are occasions where I might have inadvertently succumbed to parroting them. I highly encourage you to chuckle at those instances and either substitute the phrase with your choice of cliche or roll your eyes and let out a deep sigh. Shake your head sagely if you are reading the book in a public setting for extra effect. Feel free to even tweet about it with #empathicleadership or #leadwithempathy and express what went through your mind when you encountered the cliche. I look forward to reading those gems on my Twitter feed.
Leading with Empathy is intended to help people relate to their personal experiences as we explore various topics throughout the book. It is a call to action for people to lead with empathy. I have included exercises, tips, and activities to promote empathic leadership, reflection, and introspection and ways to start the dialogue about empathy and its dire need today. Each chapter also ends with a few points for reflection and introspection. I encourage you to use these not only for your personal growth but also as conversation starters with your fellow leaders. You don't have to wait until Part 3 to take action.
Together, we can lead with empathy and strive to elevate humanity in the face of adversity.
