I just didn't do to get this guy his top key. The hostess of the establishment was diligently looking for a spare one, and in the meantime I was trying to break up the porch. You've probably already noticed from the photos that I'm not Ilya Muromets, or even Elisha Silovich. Therefore, the task in front of me was extremely difficult. I tried to unscrew the rusty screws, tear off the stale board in the end, but in the end, as I remember, after calling all the local Spirits to help, I somehow managed to tear this ill-fated porch off the ground (probably along with the house, I don't remember the details of how I did it), and the lady managed to pull the key out of there for a few seconds, before the opportunity to earn me an intervertebral hernia.
We were sitting on this porch like Shurik and Ninochka in a Caucasian captive after swimming in a mountain river. I was shaking from overexertion, the lady was laughing. Probably, my attempts in this situation looked very awkward and comical. It's almost night…, you can't even see the porch there, let alone the rusty screws. And try to find a small key in the night under the porch? I didn't give this aunt a smartphone to shine, otherwise she would have left her smartphone there under the porch, and my strength was running out. I feel like I haven't fully restored them yet.
Okay. Everything worked out, we found it, we coped. I'm good! Having checked that the woman opened the lock and disappeared from my sight behind the door of my house, I went to bed with a sense of accomplishment, with a trampled faith in beauty and with undermined health.
Do you think that's the end of the story?
Right now!!!
Who would have thought!
It turns out!
I somehow managed to impress this woman, I realized it during dinner the next day, when we were eating some strange soup at a round table in the company of guests. This woman sat down to my right, side by side, and everything went about the same as usual, except for one small but very important detail…
I carefully and carefully put another spoonful of soup in my mouth and I feel… something is wrong… I notice some new sensations and movements on myself under the table. And it's not about the soup at all. The thought slipped by, but I didn't take it seriously, I decided to make sure. He recoiled a little from the table, lo and behold, oh, you're green Christmas trees…
Well, what do you think I saw there?
The neat manicured hand of this very woman playfully climbs up my leg. From the knee to… hmm… in the waist area, in general.
What to do?
The woman is pretty, I won't hide it. Moderately thin, height, about 175 cm. The figure, the face, the manicure is beautiful. She smiles, her eyes play, her voice rings. Well, everything is as it should be. BUT!
Firstly, I was already married for ten years at that time. And secondly, there was another important argument in front of me – the husband of this woman. And on the left is her son. And between them, my cheerful companionable brother, who was telling some stories and making people laugh. The soul of the company… you can't take that away from him. But I was absolutely not laughing at that moment!!!
Meanwhile, the hand is crawling up. And there's still a lot of soup left in the plate. And the "vertical of power" is already such that even if you chop wood, even if you do a stand, and you will not leave the table unnoticed! You'll catch on to something or you'll run into someone!
Half a tundra!
– AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
And time goes by, and the hand crawls. And the distance is getting shorter. And conscience is already driving his fist under his nose.
I don't remember how I ended up in my cell, I probably teleported, because there were no other options to leave without attracting attention and explanations in general. I was propped up on both sides by the people, as they say, in tightness and not in offense, but somehow I still coped with this.
I slept badly at night, emotionally.
In the morning my brother asked me why I had disappeared. And at the same time he told me that the same woman was very interested in me. Who is he, where does he work, what does he do…
Well, brother – he will always cover, always lend a helping hand and help out at the right moment. He found nothing better than to answer the lady's questions as follows–
– Yes, he sweeps there. Give – bring, what kind of garbage to throw away – that's in his line.
My brother did not know what was going on between us at that time, but apparently decided to show his wit in this way, which in this case came in handy.
The lady's interest in my person disappeared instantly. She didn't come up to me anymore, didn't sit down, didn't smile, and didn't even look in my direction. By the way, I was then the CEO of Sigma companies in Novosibirsk, but I earned several times less than the last janitor in Finland.
So what am I all about?
I'm not going to Okunevo now either!
I still have no soup left… oh, this Moon for me…
Oh, I love my job
Today I remembered an episode from my life that took place around 2014. As many of you know, at that time I was the CEO of a network of companies in Novosibirsk. In 2010, I founded a company for the installation and maintenance of stretch ceilings. This organization worked until 2017, then I liquidated it. Tired of everything. He went into other areas. But for the period of the events described, the business was living a full life. I have never shied away from working with my own hands, even though I was a manager, and I had managers, installers, accounting, measurers, and glue guys on my staff. Nevertheless, if the team was sewn up, then I personally went to the installation and, taking off my white shirt, pulled the ceilings together with the guys. Very often I went to measurements and personally signed contracts on the spot. So this time, I personally came to the measurement for one of the applications.
I arrived at the appointed time, got up, rang the bell. I'm waiting. A girl opens the door. As soon as she opened the door, my pulse immediately quickened. The fact is that this girl was wearing a man's T-shirt. A very nice T-shirt. Well, that's it. Nothing else.
– Spt … come on, I may have made a mistake with the apartment– – I was a little confused, looking around and checking the apartment number.
– No, that's right. Are you on a measurement? Come on in–" the girl politely invited. She smiled so pleasantly and took a few steps back.
I didn't feel well at all. That is, of course, good, but not quite. The working mood was completely lost. But I'm an understanding person, everything happens. Therefore, I kindly offered it from the threshold:
– I probably arrived a little earlier, look, if it's inconvenient now, I'll wait, call as soon as you're ready – I'll get up.
– Oh, no, no, it's all right, please come in– – the girl smiled, and walked down the long corridor, completely knocking the ground out from under my feet with her… these… what's their name… In general, the T-shirt was not very short for her.
I blinked, finally closed my mouth, and at the same time the door. He took off his shoes. I'm standing, waiting for the girl to return in a more conventional form. I look, a sleepy kid comes out to meet me. His situation was the opposite. There was no top, and there were some kind of shorts on the bottom. He extended his hand to me in a friendly way and invited me to follow the girl.
– You
