There was no sign of Sage. Anywhere.
She looked both ways, turned up and down the block, but there was nothing. It was unfathomable. It was as if he’d just vanished.
She wondered how he could have possibly run away that quickly. It was impossible.
She wondered where he went, and if there was still time to catch up to him. Because now, she felt an overwhelming urge to be with him, to talk to him. She realized, in a flash, that she had just made the stupidest mistake of her life by saying no. Now that he was gone, every ounce of her ached for him. She’d been such a fool. She hated herself.
Had she lost her chance for good?
Chapter Four
Still shaken from her encounter with Sage, Scarlet walked into her house lost in her own world.
She was snapped out of it rudely as she walked right into the middle of her parents’ arguing. She couldn’t believe it. In all her life, she never remembered them arguing and now that was all they did; she felt a pang of guilt, wondering if it had to do with her. She couldn’t help shake the feeling that something bad had started in all of their lives, something that wouldn’t go away, and which seemed to be escalating, day by day. And she couldn’t help feeling as if it were all her fault.
“You’re taking this way too far,” Caleb screamed at Caitlin behind the closed door. “Seriously. What’s gotten into you?”
“What’s gotten into you?” Caitlin shot back. “You were always in my corner, always took my side. Now, it’s like you’re in denial.”
“Denial?” he shot back.
Scarlet couldn’t take it anymore. As if her day wasn’t bad enough – having to listen to this was putting her over the edge. She just wanted them to stop arguing. She just wanted their lives to go back to normal.
She took a few steps in and pushed open the door to the dining room, hoping her presence would make them stop.
They both stopped in mid-argument, as they wheeled and stared at her, like deer caught in headlights.
“Where were you?” her dad snapped at her.
Scarlet was taken aback: her dad had never yelled at her before, and had never used that kind of tone. His face was still read from arguing, and she barely recognized him.
“What do you mean?” she said, defensive. “I was just outside, with Ruth.”
“For an hour?”
“What are you talking about?” she said, wondering. “I was only outside for a few minutes.”
“No you weren’t. I went up and checked your room, then I saw you going outside, and that was an hour ago. Where did you go?” he insisted, walking around the table towards her. “Don’t you lie to me.”
Scarlet felt as if he’d totally lost his mind. Not only was her mom going crazy, her dad was, too. She felt her world caving in.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she snapped back, her own voice rising. But she was starting to wonder if somehow she’d lost track of time. If something was happening to her. If she had again gone somewhere, and not remembered. The thought of it made her heart pound, as she started to silently freak out. “I’m not lying. And I don’t appreciate your accusing me of it.”
“Do you have any idea how worried sick we were about you? I was about to call the police again.”
“I’m sorry!” she yelled back. “I didn’t do anything!”
She was shaking inside at the brunt of his anger, and couldn’t stand it a moment longer. She turned and stormed out of the room, bursting into tears as she did. She ran up the steps.
She’d had it with her parents. It was just too much. Now, even her dad didn’t understand her. And he had always, her whole life, been on her side, through everything.
“Scarlet, get back here!” he shouted.
“NO!” she screamed back, through her tears.
She could hear her dad’s footsteps, following her up the steps, and she went faster. She hurried down the hall, to her room, and slammed the door behind her.
A moment later, his fist banged on the door.
“Scarlet. Open the door. I’m sorry. I want to talk to. Please. I’m sorry.”
But Scarlet turned off the lights and jumped into bed, curling up. She sat there, crying and crying.
“Go away!” she screamed.
Finally, after what felt like forever, she heard his footsteps disappear.
It was too early to sleep, and Scarlet felt too numb to do anything else. After a long while, she reached over and picked up her phone. Her alerts were going crazy – her Facebook page blowing up with new posts and messages. It just made her feel worse, and she shut it off.
After a long while, she lay there, on her side, looking out through the window at the trees, at all the different colors, shimmering in the final light of day. She watched as several leaves fell off the trees before her eyes, swirling down to the ground.
She felt overwhelmed with sadness. Blake didn’t want to be with her; Vivian had turned the whole school against her; her own friends didn’t understand her; her parents didn’t trust her; she didn’t know what was happening to her body. And most of all, she messed up her chance to talk to Sage. Everything was going so wrong. And she couldn’t stop flashing back to that moment between her and Blake, down by the river. She couldn’t stop thinking about what was happening to her. Who was she, really?
She reached over and grabbed her journal and her favorite pen, leaned over and began to write.
I don’t understand my life anymore. It’s surreal. I just met the most amazing boy ever. Sage. I don’t want to admit it, because Maria likes him, but I can’t stop thinking about him. I feel like I’ve known him somehow. We barely spoke, yet I felt such a connection to him. Even more than with Blake.
But he left so quickly, and I stupidly turned him down. I wish I hadn’t. There are so many questions I’m dying to ask him. Like who he is. What he’s doing here. And why he was in front of my house. He said he was just walking by, but somehow I don’t believe it. I think he was looking for me.
I don’t know who my parents are anymore. Every day, everything is changing so much. I don’t know who I am either. It’s like the whole world I once knew, the world that was so familiar and safe is gone, replaced by another world. And I feel like tomorrow, it will all just change again.
I dread tomorrow. Will everybody hate me? Will Blake ignore me? Will I see Sage?
I can’t even imagine what the next day will bring.
Scarlet opened her eyes, awakened by a doorbell. She looked out and was shocked to realize it was already late morning, the sun flooding into her bedroom. She realized she’d fallen asleep in her clothes, on top of the covers. She grabbed her clock and turned it: 8:30. Her heart fluttered with panic. She was late for school.
The
