The counselor or therapist must be able to enter the client’s world, understand the myriad aspects that make up that world, and communicate this understanding so that the client perceives that they have been heard accurately (Coutinho et al., 2014; Freedberg, 2007; Gatongi, 2008; Singer et al., 2009).
Sidebar 1.4 Personal Characteristics of the Counselor Candidate
In conjunction with each of the core conditions described in this chapter (empathic understanding, respect and positive regard, genuineness and congruence, concreteness, warmth, and immediacy), there is a list of personal characteristics the counselor should have. Do you think you are a person with such attributes? If not, do you view this as a dilemma, given your choice to become a counselor?
Egan (2013) identified both primary and advanced levels of empathic understanding. At the primary level, it involves the ability to understand, identify, and communicate feelings and meanings that are at the surface level of the client’s disclosures. At the advanced level, it involves the ability to understand, identify, and communicate feelings and meanings that are buried, hidden, or beyond the immediate reach of a client. Such feelings and meanings are more often covert than overt client expressions. Additionally, clients who are a part of marginalized groups may express feelings of being misunderstood. It is important for counselors to understand that they do not have to share similar experiences to practice this skill effectively. Counselors who remain committed to understanding their client’s experiences from the client’s vantage point can draw from aspects of cultural competence and cultural humility to increase their empathic understanding. For example, because trans and nonbinary clients often face lack of empathy in heteronormative-reinforced familial and social institutions, it is so important for the counselor to be empathic and affirming; however, there may be initial mistrust or hostility when a cisgendered counselor’s empathic attempts feel more like an attempt to communicate “I get it” as if part of the ingroup (dickey & Singh, 2020).
Personal characteristics or behaviors that enhance a counselor’s or therapist’s ability to provide empathic understanding include, but are not limited to, the following:
The knowledge and awareness of one’s own values, attitudes, and beliefs and the emotional and behavioral impact they have on oneself and others
The knowledge and awareness of one’s own feelings and emotional response patterns and how they manifest themselves in interactive patterns
The knowledge and awareness of one’s own lived experiences and one’s personal reactions to those experiences
The capacity and willingness to communicate these personal reactions to one’s clients
Respect and Positive Regard
Respect and positive regard are defined as the belief in each client’s innate worth and potential and the ability to communicate this belief in the helping relationship. This belief, once communicated, provides clients with positive reinforcement relative to their innate ability to take responsibility for their own growth, change, goal determination, decision-making, and eventual problem resolution. It is an empowering process that delivers a message to clients that they are able to take control of their lives and, with facilitative assistance from the counselor or therapist, foster change. Communicating and demonstrating this respect for clients takes many forms. According to Baruth and Robinson (1987), it “is often communicated by what the counselor does not do or say. In other words, by not offering to intervene for someone, one is communicating a belief in the individual’s ability to ‘do’ for himself or herself” (p. 85).
Personal characteristics or behaviors that enhance a counselor’s or therapist’s ability to provide respect and positive regard include, but are not limited to, the following:
The capacity to respect oneself
The capacity to view oneself as having worth and potential
The capacity to model and communicate this positive self-image to clients
The capacity to recognize one’s own control needs, and the ability to use this recognition in a manner that allows clients to direct their own lives
We think it is worth noting, however, that in no type of counseling is it possible for the counselor—a conditioned cultural product—to provide unconditional positive regard unless they are sensitive to the cultural norms of the client (Ibrahim & Dykeman, 2011).
Genuineness and Congruence
Genuineness and congruence are relational qualities that have received renewed interest (Klein et al., 2001). Genuineness and congruence describe the ability to be authentic in the helping relationship (Sue & Sue, 2013). The ability to be real as opposed to artificial, to behave as one feels as opposed to playing the role of the helper, and to be congruent in terms of actions and words are further descriptors of this core condition (Kolden et al., 2011). According to Schnellbacher and Leijssen (2009),
The findings underline the significance and value of genuineness in communication with the client. Indeed, the results indicate that therapist genuineness can be a crucial process for healing and personality change and that self-disclosure can be [a] powerful and directional [intervention]. (pp. 222–223)
Implicit in this statement is the idea of the counselor’s ability to communicate and demonstrate this genuineness, not only for relationship enhancement but also to model this core condition so that clients can develop greater authenticity in their interactions with others.
Personal characteristics or behaviors that enhance a counselor’s or therapist’s ability to prove genuineness and congruence include, but are not limited to, the following:
The capacity for self-awareness and the ability to demonstrate this capacity through words and actions
The understanding of one’s own motivational patterns and the ability to use them productively in the helping relationship
The ability to present one’s thoughts, feelings, and actions in a consistent, unified, and honest manner
The capacity for self-confidence and the ability to communicate this capacity in a facilitative way in the helping relationship
Concreteness
Concreteness is the ability not only to see the incomplete picture that clients paint with their words but also to communicate to clients the figures, images, and structures that will complete the picture. In the process of exploring problems or issues, clients often present a somewhat distorted view of the actual situation. Concreteness enables the counselor or therapist to help clients identify the distortions in the situation and fit them together in such a way that clients are able to view the situation in a more realistic fashion. The concreteness helps clients clarify vague issues, focus on specific topics, reduce degrees of ambiguity, and channel their energies into more productive avenues of problem resolution.
Personal characteristics and behaviors that enhance a counselor’s or therapist’s ability to provide degrees of concreteness include, but are not limited to, the following:
The capacity for abstract thinking and the ability to read between the lines
The willingness to risk being incorrect as one attempts to fill in the empty
