How To Kill Yourself With Time Travel. Martin Cordemann

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How To Kill Yourself With Time Travel - Martin Cordemann

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turned around and left.

      I turned around and glanced at the coroner.

      “Good pep talk,” he grinned.

      “You got a better one?”

      “I got none at all. Also no bedside manner – and I am a doctor.”

      “For the dead.”

      “More of the dead... but that doesn't matter, does it? What matters is...” He pointed at...

      “It's a corpse, Agent Schick. A body. A dead body. Your dead body. I'm afraid you have to face this fact.”

      “I'm still working on it.”

      “I can see that, but there is nothing helpful I could tell you.” He gave it a quick thought. “No, that came out wrong. There is nothing uplifting to say to you, like 'everything will be fine' or bullshit like that. Everything will not be fine, at least not for you. You, my friend, are gonna die. And not in a distant future and of old age, you are gonna die from a... gunshot wound, if I see that correctly. You also had a brief encounter with a knife... show me your forearms.”

      I showed him.

      “No, no wounds yet. So there's still some time. And they are not fatal.”

      “What makes you so sure?”

      “They healed. A little bit, at last. You had time to bandage them. Then you got shot.”

      “By whom?”

      “Don't know yet. But there's hope.”

      “For me to ditch that bullet?”

      “No, but to find out which gun it was shot from. It's still in your body, you know.”

      “Yeah,” I murmured, “so there is good news.”

      “Now you've got the right humor to deal with this,” the coroner grinned. His name, funny as it seemed, was Dr. Coroner, and he always said that gave him not a real choice career wise. “So, find out who did this to you. And...”

      “...yes, I know, try not to change history.”

      “Well, I presume the Polizeit would prefer you to avoid that.”

      “Changing history... or my death?!”

      “It's the same, isn't it?” he smiled. “See you in two hours, than I can probably tell you who killed you.”

      13:01

      I had to admit the whole thing kinda ruined my day. Not that it was a great day anyway, but finding out that you will be killed in maybe a matter of days and knowing that for sure kinda sets you into a bad mood. So how did this probably last day of my life start? Quite normally, I would say. I woke up, prepared for work, some interviews in a case about a time traveling serial killer, but then the office called and Captain Fect said: “Wanna see something mind blowing?”

      Of course I wanted. So I went there. A small park. Autumn. Cold. More browns than greens. Trees like skeletons. And a figure in black. Lying on the cold ground. Cause was there, the coroner was there, some of Polizeit's Finest had build a perimeter around the black figure. I showed my badge, they showed some respect... except for Cause, of cause. He stepped into my way, before I could find out, what was going on... or who was lying there.

      “This is... different,” he opened.

      “Different how?”

      “Different... completely.”

      “Mind blowingly?”

      “Yeah, you could say that.”

      “What is it?”

      “Someone you know.”

      “Closely?”

      “Very.”

      “Someone I liked?”

      “Guess so.”

      “Whom I'm gonna miss?”

      “Technically... no.”

      “Are you going to tell me anytime soon?”

      “I'd rather not.”

      “But?”

      “Guess I have to.”

      “So who in the nine hells of time travel is it?”

      “Sal... you're not gonna like this.”

      “I think it's a dead body, someone I know, evidently, murder and by that a crime, possibly, so no, I'm not gonna like it.”

      “As I said...”

      “You said nothing!”

      “As I indicated, it's... more personal this time.”

      “How much?”

      “Actually... more than even possible.” He sighed. “I'm not really sure, you should see it. It can... do things to you.”

      “Is the body mutilated?”

      “Thank god, no! But... it's not a pleasant sight. In some other sense. Which you will find out if you really want to see it.” He thought about it. “You don't have to.”

      “Who's idea was it to bring me here?”

      “That was mine,” he admitted. “But maybe it wasn't a good one. Maybe we should forget this ever happened and... see what happens. Uncertainty Principle and stuff?!”

      “Would it help?”

      “I doubt it.”

      “Soooo,” it was my time to sigh, “I was called here, I am here, I am, as you, an Agent for the Polizeit, so is this a case? Is it time travel related? And...? I can't think of a third point.”

      “Then I answer to one and two with yes.”

      “Is it my case?”

      “If you want it.” He smiled. “If something like that happened to me, I would beg them to make it my case.”

      “If what happened to you?”

      “Finding my own dead body.”

      “It is...”

      “Oh, it's not mine. If it was, I would love it. In a morbid kind of way, of course. But wouldn't that be great? Having the opportunity to find out what happened to me and who killed me... probably.” He sighed thinking about that. “What a thrill. What an interesting concept.” He shook his shoulders.

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