how to present yourself? If you don't ask, you don't know—and knowing can pay real dividends. When Carrie was spending time in places as disparate as China, India, and Nigeria, she did her homework online beforehand; she also asked individuals from each place how to show respect in the cultures she would be visiting. In China, she used two hands to receive business cards. In India, she bowed to people who were older than she was and used local names in the local language. In Nigeria, she was prepared for local customs around eating and drinking. Because she had spent time learning about these customs, she wasn't surprised by them, and they became a point of connection rather than division—allowing her to focus on more substantive matters.
Second, present yourself with care and thoughtfulness. Even the most assiduous research will leave holes in your knowledge. You will likely encounter situations that you weren't expecting—whether it's a living situation or a dietary practice or part of a foreign routine that is standard in the culture you're experiencing but feels new and different to you. The key is not to react with surprise or discomfort, but to maintain an openness and regard for traditions that are not your own. That might seem obvious, but it's also easier said than done, and different situations will provoke stronger reactions. Sleeping in a large room with lots of other people? That's a pretty easy adjustment. Eating a large live bug? That might be more challenging. As a citizen statesperson, you will often find yourself in territory that belongs to other people. Just as you would normally be respectful in another person's home, be deferential, considerate, and courteous when traveling to another person's country or community. That doesn't mean you can't have questions, but it does mean you ask questions in ways that are diplomatic, rather than probing. Framing a question as, “I know some people think X—do you agree, or do you have another view?” is a useful way to gain information without antagonizing others.
Third, citizen statespeople looking to connect in unfamiliar environments need to have self‐discipline—and a thick skin. The unfortunate reality is that even your most valiant efforts to fit in might not ingratiate you to the community. Dean, for example, spent five years in East Asia, and a lot of time in Korea—but even after learning local customs and working to follow local practices, he was still sometimes singled out as a foreigner and a minority. That sometimes made him an object of ridicule or discrimination for people who didn't see complexity and simply ascribed to him their own caricatures of people from his background. At times, naturally, that could be frustrating. But at the end of the day, he concluded that while he couldn't control other people's actions, he could control his response by remaining respectful and staying focused on his larger goals—an attitude that helped make him successful.
The bottom line is this: if you want to be comfortable, make others comfortable. If you are conscientious, thoughtful in your presentation, and disciplined in your reactions, you will put your best foot forward and maximize your ability to connect, engage, and drive impact.
Discussion Questions
What specific challenges are you facing as you seek to become a citizen statesperson? How will you navigate those challenges to connect, engage, and drive impact?
What benefits do you see in citizen statespersonship?
What new or unfamiliar cultures must you navigate to be effective? What steps will you take to work successfully within unfamiliar cultures ?
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