he said without looking at me, while continuing to fill rice cooker with raw rice, and then filled it with water.
«Are you saying that…?» With horror, I began to put forward my assumption.
«Yes, my mother fed me poisoned food,» he said quickly, hiding his grim expression from me.
«Song Joon, this is…» I couldn’t finish the sentence as there were no words that could ease his suffering.
«You don’t need to say anything. I just explained my strange actions to you.»
«I never thought that your actions were strange. Well, okay, at first, maybe I thought, but then I realized that you must have some good reason for this.» I reasoned as if I was alone in the apartment, which made Sung Joon smile weakly.
«I know that food is not dangerous for me, but I can not overcome my fear. Especially if I get this food from people I do not trust,» he continued to decipher the code, the key to which I had been trying to figure out for so long.
«Wait a minute!» I blinked in confusion and swallowed nervously, frantically searching for words, «The fact that I’m tasting food for you. Should I take that as…?»
«I trust you,» he finished the sentence for me and turned so that he could look into my eyes, «consider this my official admission that I like you. And if you think it’s impossible, then it’s bad. First of all, for you,» he confidently stated, to which I raised my eyebrows in surprise, «because I will try my best to fix it.»
«Then you’ll get yourself in a lot of trouble and break millions of hearts,» I stated with a heavy sigh.
«For the first time in my life, I care about my own heart and feelings. And I want to be selfish. I want to be with you because you make me better.»
«Perhaps you actually feel my attention that I give you as part of the work, so you feel that we are close?» I suggested, trying to contain the excitement and palpitations caused by his words.
«Do you think I can’t sort out my own feelings?» He smiled sadly, frying vegetables in a frying pan, which I successfully finished chopping, «before you, I had thirty-five assistants, each of whom entertained the hope of getting my attention, but… this whole illusion dissipated on the very first day. None of them succeeded and still can’t fill my thoughts and feelings the way you did, didn’t make any effort.»
«I can’t believe we’re talking about such serious things like this sitting in the kitchen,» I laughed nervously.
«I’m just stating the facts,» he shrugged nonchalantly.
«And what am I supposed to do with these facts now? You do understand that we can’t work together. One of the conditions was that I must not, under any circumstances, start a relationship with you.»
«Only with me?» He asked, raising his eyebrows in surprise, but trying unsuccessfully to suppress a smile. «What a pity! It looks like your father will suffer losses when the truth comes out,» he laughed, but I didn’t appreciate his sarcasm, «let’s not quarrel before meals. Better look for glasses for the mineral water that is in your refrigerator.»
I obediently carried out his order, pouring water into glasses while Sung Joon placed a plate of fried rice, a plate of vegetable cuts, and pickled radish kimchi in front of me.
«Thanks for the food!» I sincerely thanked, trying to ignore the fact that Sung Joon was sitting next to me, but at the same time I glanced at him from time to time to make sure that he was really eating.
«You can relax. Today I’m going to enjoy my meal with you,» he chuckled as he caught another quick glance at me.
«You should have let me have lunch with you,» I told him regretfully, realizing that we could have avoided our trip to the hospital.
«We’re having dinner instead,» he remarked gleefully, popping a spoon full of rice into his mouth, «so take it easy. Tomorrow we’ll have a long day.»
«I’m not taking you with me,» I announced decisively and shook my head. «You will go to work according to your schedule. The doctor said that you need to get a good rest.»
«I rest when I am near you,» he said without a hint of embarrassment.
«Song Joon,» I called out to him, putting the spoon aside, «why do I get the feeling that you see me as a lifeline?»
«To a certain extent it is. You save me from loneliness. I think when you understand what makes your heart flutter, you can admit your feelings for me,» he shrugged and continued to eat.
«Hmm, how presumptuous!! I snorted contemptuously and took a sip from my glass of water to hide my awkwardness.
«Well, I think it’s time for me to go home. Are you sure you won’t be afraid to stay here alone tonight?» He asked, peering intently into my already glowing face.
«I’m often alone. My parents are on business trips most of the time. So just go home,» I pleaded, getting to my feet to walk him to the door.
The ease with which he spoke about his feelings unsettled me, and I did not quite understand how I should react to this, but I knew that I could not afford to succumb to Sung Joon’s love provocations in any way.
***
The next morning, I found Sung Joon’s housekeeper Ms. Jung Eun in my kitchen, arranging new dishes in my kitchen cabinets.
«Miss Min Hee, I’m sorry for barging in like that without warning, but Mr. Sung Joon insisted that I deliver everything to you immediately,» a middle-aged woman with a sweet smile and dark hair tied in a high, tight bun apologized to me. There was not an ounce of makeup on her face. At the same time, her skin was perfectly even and had a bronze tint. Her miniature figure now and then flickered with various items of utensils in her hands, placing them in their places in the cabinets even at the moment when she spoke to me.
«I understand. Thank you,» I smiled wanly, feeling tired despite having slept for almost six hours.
«Miss Min Hee!» Ms. Jung Eun called me and I stopped half way back to my bedroom, «Mr. Sung Joon sent you food,» she pointed towards the refrigerator.
I slowly walked over to the refrigerator to look inside and found several containers of various sizes filled with edible contents.
«Thank you,» I replied in shock, feeling slightly dizzy at what was happening.
It looks like Sung Joon has seriously decided to violate my personal boundaries. I need to change the code for the apartment.
I got to work on the subway and walked into Sung Joon’s manager’s office, unable to contain the flow of thoughts that brought me back to the events of the previous evening. Sung Joon’s hunger swoon is not something I could understand and accept so easily. His eating disorder was due to trauma, and it was terrible. It was utterly unfair to him. And I sincerely wanted to help him overcome his painful memories, but will he allow me to do this? And will it solve the problem with his contract? And what will I do if his feelings, about which he spoke to me
