Operational bachelorette party. Comedy. А play for 5 people. Nikolay Lakutin
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Xana (busily, into the phone). Seryozhenka, hello, dear. Me, who else. How are you? Yes? Well, well done. Yes, I'm fine too. Listen, you were looking for a girl to sell. Did you find it? Don't look, I've already found it. Ooooooofig, you'll like it. Damir's name is. Did you check out the name? That's it. That's it, I'll give you your contacts, he'll dial today. Not today? When is it necessary? The day after tomorrow? Ok. Come on, kiss me. Both, of course. (He listens to the phone, smiles.) Okay, and there too. You know, I'm anything you want for you, yes… yes. Well, that's it. (Kisses the receiver.) Mua-mua!
Xana puts the phone away, turns to Damira, actively gestures.
Xana (calmly, to the waitress). I've decided everything. They're waiting for you. Call me the day after tomorrow. Give me the phone, I'll write the number. (Damira gives her phone number, Ksana writes down Sergey's number there.) The salary will not offend, the attitude will be amazing! Get a stack for yourself… and a chair. Let's drink!
Damira is in shock, she doesn't know what to do. Her inner turmoil is visible.
Xana (calmly, to the waitress). Ah, I get it.
Xana takes a stack of money out of her pocket, counts out how much, puts the amount on the table. Removes the rest of the money.
Xana (busily, to the waitress). Here you go. Compensation for the upcoming retention here on the s/p.
Xana takes the bottle, opens it, pours it. He looks at Damira.
Xana (encouraging the waitress). Come on-come on-come on!
Damira smiles, takes the money. "Breaks down" behind a chair and a stack.
He comes running, substitutes a chair, sits down. He puts down his stack. Xana immediately pours it for her. He pours a little for everyone.
Xana (commanding). So. Raised!
Everyone takes a shot.
Xana (commanding). For the acquaintance, girls! Will be!
All three are drinking. They wince. Have a snack.
Xana (in her own way, Damire). I'm Xana! (He points to Bela.) It's a Squirrel!
Bela and Damira nod affably to each other.
Damira (in a friendly way, Bela). Damira.
Xana (in her own way, Damire). Don't worry about work! Serega… (Shows a finger up.) That's such a guy! Everything will be tip-top, be sure!
Damira (with interest, Xane). And … you have something with him …
Damira shows a gesture of relationship (decently, for example, rubs her index fingers together).
Xana (in her own way, Damire). No, you're not… We have… purely buddies. He is a serious man, and I am a life-loving, free-spirited girl. We couldn't get along with him under any circumstances. We are sooooooooo different. But we communicate normally. So… we can make fun of each other. But no more. By the way, he is married, but I don't like his wife, a complete fool. (Playfully.) So if anything, look… I don't mind!
Damira (modestly, blushing). Xaaaana, what are you....
Xana (in her own way, Damire). You can Ksyu! It's okay, it's life. Who managed, that and sneakers. And his sneakers, I think, are normal!
Damira (modestly, blushing). Oh, no. I'm not like that. Family is sacred!
Xana (in her own way, Damire). Yes, we are all not like that! (He turns to Bela for support.) Belka, tell me?
Bela shrugs uncertainly.
Xana (in her own way, Bela). So, come on, tell me. What's your story?
Xana and Damira are all paying attention, looking at Bela.
Bela (hesitantly). Yes… I don't even know how to say it… It's uncomfortable somehow.
Xana (in her own way, Bela). Squirrel, what are you? All your own! Do you know how many of these goats I've had in my life? I've been in such stories… mmmmm.... Sometimes I don't believe it myself. But it was. It was! Well, what do you have there? Changed it?
Bela (sighing). Ah… no.
Damira (sincerely). How not?
Bela and Xana look questioningly at Damira.
Damira (excusing herself). Well, I mean… I mean that… what is the problem then, if not this?
Bela (sighing). Simply… He just told me I was nothing. Well, I mean… in the same sense – no!
Xana (sympathetically, Bele). Asshole!
Damira (sympathetically). Wow… For a guy to say something like that to a girl… As soon as the tongue turned.
Bela (sighing). Girls, I'm really really not a specialist. Well, where would I have learned all sorts of wisdom there, because I had the first Stasik… And last.
Xana (sympathetically, Bele). Oh, come on… The last one. To put an end to all the men because of one sheep.
Damira (sympathetically, Bele). Forget it and don't worry! Experience is a gainful thing. I'm not a pro myself, but in a couple of years, while I was wiping corners with my Nikita in dorms, I learned something. We studied together!
Xana (with support, Damire). Here! This is what it is when we are together. And when one has experience, and the second has just embarked on this path… It is clear that this does not end well. But opening your mouth about it is also not the case. (White.) By the way, how much with this, his… What's his name?
Bela (sadly, with nostalgia). Stasikom …
Xana (busily, Bele). Oh! Exactly. With Stasik with his own. Not for long, surely you met? When I just managed to fall in love. I can see it in his eyes, the resentment against him is not in an empty place. You love…, like.
Bela looks down guiltily.
Bela (sadly, with nostalgia). Today was exactly a month.
Xana (busily, Bele). Tyuyuyuy! And that's why you're so upset? Forget it altogether. Too much for me, an episode. Another name is such a stupid one. Stasik. Is that what someone else calls someone?
Damira (carefully, Xane). In general, my dad is Stas. Stanislav Viktorovich.
Xana (guiltily covering her mouth with her palm). Oh, shit! Girls, I'm sorry. Sometimes I don't say much. I'm sorry, a drunk fool. By the way… Let's take the second one. And then I feel like I'm already a fool, but not much of a fool. And I would like to be stronger. I just adore myself as a fool!
Xana pours everyone a little more.
They raise the stacks.
Xana (busily). To eat and drink, to want and could! Let's go…
they drink on the second. Have a snack.
Xana (with interest, Damire). And what about Nikita, with the dorm… Are you together now, or what?
Damira (a little sadly). Broke