Confession of a Ghost. F.M. Dostoevsky award. Playing Another Reality. Alexandra Kryuchkova
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“Mine ones, yes, though everything earthly is conditional. It’s the unconditional love of the heart that counts. During my lifetime, I felt the support of Heaven. Sometimes I was about to give up, but circumstances changed, and it worked out even better than planned. I saw a lot of suffering and loved people for the courage with which they endured adversity. Every soul comes into the world to serve others, but not every soul remembers this on Earth.”
“I… write too,” I admitted timidly.
“Come at night, let’s read our poems to each other! In the Tower by the sea, at the open Heavenly Gates, where the Other World voices are heard whispering at night, it’s good to write! You know, many writers regret that they had no time to write something important. Earthly affairs drag us into the swamp of fuss, and the most important things are often postponed for the Future. Many ghosts try to whisper the unsaid lines to their colleagues.”
“Joice, have you seen a… Monk here?”
“Monks often come here. There is a chapel on the top floor. It’s closed to tourists, not to ghosts. I don’t want to disturb them. I have two rooms and a balcony, where I watch my village go to sleep in the evening and meet the Sun in the morning. Monks come at night along the underground corridor that connects the Tower with the Zygou monastery, where the border control point is located. Apparently, they are not allowed to Mount Athos, and Zygou is destroyed, the closest option is my chapel.”
“Is there a dungeon in the Tower?!”
“A great labyrinth, yeah! I went down once, but I was afraid to get lost. Perhaps it connects the Tower to all the monasteries. Would you like to explore it?”
Somewhere in the Mist
The Moonlight Sonata… It begins to sound in me softly. From somewhere far away, where everything is foggy, but through the Mist I see …
…black furniture. And I feel sick, that’s how I feel all the Bad, associated with Death, hellish portals to the Lower Astral.
“Sit down,” a male voice says commanding, and I shake my head negatively. “I said, SIT DOWN!”
I want to run away, into the Moonlight Sonata, which sounds louder and louder, but a female voice brings me back, “Don’t leave him! Help him!” Who is it screaming? I don’t know. I can’t remember. I step into the Mist, where the Moonlight Sonata sounds, but out of the Mist emerges…
…a black luxury car.
“You consider me like your man, don’t you?” says a male powerful voice grinning maliciously.
I turn sharply to the right and take a step into the Mist, but I find myself…
…onto a stage flooded with light, where, blinded by the spotlights, they hand me something, I don’t remember what it was. And again, I hear the voice of the one whose face is hidden from me by the Mist,
“I’ll go with you to Venice, and we’ll take Eugene to keep us company.”
Who is Eugene? Why Venice? I don’t understand, but it hurts. I turn sharply to the left and step into the Mist, towards the Moonlight Sonata, which calls me to it, but out of the Mist appears
…my mother. All in black. She doesn’t want… what? – me to go to Venice?
And the voice, that imperious male voice, shouts at me,
“Why did Eugene give you a rose?! And what about you with Victor?!”
Who are these Eugene and Victor? The Mist creeps over my Consciousness, and I start running away, towards the Moon, it’s getting closer and closer, but the female voice stops me, “Don’t leave him! Help him!”
I pause for a moment to remember who they are. In vain! The Moonlight Sonata merges their voices into one, and the Mist draws trees in the park, it beckons me to where … I turn around sharply, take a step in the opposite direction and fall down…
…into a white room, where the same male voice sounds,
“Make me this project, and we’ll definitely go somewhere with you.”
Who is he? And why do I feel so bad that I want to dissolve in the Moonlight Sonata, which pours into me in waves, and I’m no longer pacing, I’m running again, trying to get out of the nightmarish labyrinth, however, out of the Mist emerges…
…a table with candles … I don’t see his face, but he hands me a glass of wine.
“Happy birthday, darling! I want to drink for you to die before me!” and he drinks to the bottom.
“Don’t leave him! Help him!” a female voice is heard, though already much weaker, while the Moonlight Sonata sounds louder and louder, and I hear him shouting,
“Who the hell are you?”
I abruptly get up and leave, without turning around, farther and farther, to the place where the Moonlight Sonata sounds so loudly that I can no longer hear anyone’s voices … No one’s at all… Absolutely …
36 Before/5 After. House No. I
Magic Ring
Somewhere in the Universe
We returned to the Tower and found ourselves in a secret room with book shelves along the walls and a table with a single candlestick in the center. Saturn lit candles, materialized armchairs and invited us to sit down.
“Here is the most interesting, Rukh. These are copies of books from the Library of the Universe. Why do you think they are here?”
“Are they important to you?”
“They are interesting to me. I study them, highlighting and writing something out. I re-read them and underline. Thematically, they relate to one of the Spheres that I’m in charge of. See which one.”
“Death and Magic?!”
“Exactly. Staying in your House of Life, I’m in charge of your Death and Magic (House No. 8), and I help Uranus with his House No. 9 – the Spiritual Path, Teachers.”
“Wow!” I exclaimed, unable to restrain myself, and instantly remembered the Future. “My main planet is you the Death, and you live in my Self?! The major Saturn events will occur before my 13th birthday, so will I die as a child?”
“Not bad for a start,” Saturn looked at the Guardian. “Phenomenal speed of learning. I don’t like splashes of the Moon and chaotic knowledge. The energy of Death is that of Scorpio-Pluto, and in your case, I carry it. Such Saturn-Pluto. The Master of Death in the House of Life is a hard case, it leads either to self-destruction, because Scorpio is inclined to sting himself, being depressed,