arrive at what appears to be a public park entrance and Fred stops. ‘OK, so I need to leave you here – you should try the park though, you’ll like it.’ He glances at his watch. ‘I have to go now, Sandra is expecting me.’
‘No worries.’ As I thank him, and we say our goodbyes, I get a fresh wave of pleasure at the absurdity of my situation. Who knew just a fortnight ago that I’d soon be walking along a beautiful lake in a part of Switzerland I never knew existed?
The hours fly by as I explore the magical city, taking particular delight in the giant chess game, its pieces half the height of my body. I stand and watch as two elderly locals, with flat-caps and walking sticks, banter in brisk Italian as a third man obediently moves their pawns upon their order. No matter which direction I stroll, the views from the lake are bewitching from every angle – the majestic deep green mountains in the distance, a sharp contrast against the clear blueness of the water. I contemplate a boat ride but decide against it, instead spending my time exploring my picturesque surroundings, revelling in the darker tan lines I see appearing on my arms.
By late afternoon I’ve ventured into the higher part of the city, taking a larger funicular to Monte San Salvatore and following the footpath to the Chapel. As I reach the rooftop that I’ve heard so much about from Frederick, I’m mesmerised by what lies before me; breath-taking views over the city and out beyond onto the lake. In that moment, I realise that there is a vast expanse of beauty that I’ve not even touched upon in my limited travels and Frederick’s comment re-enters my mind.
‘I should look for work abroad.’ I find myself rolling the idea around in both my mind and my mouth. It’s not actually that absurd come to think of it. What’s to stop me from finding a teaching position in Europe? I’d still be close enough to travel home often and maybe, just maybe, it’s the new life I’m looking for? Heavy doubt creeps into my reflections. And what about the language barrier? I don’t have a natural ear for other languages, hell, I barely scraped through French classes during my own schooling years. But then, others do it, don’t they? I rebuke myself for once again letting myself drift into fantasy land and instead focus on the view.
After a considerable time drinking in my surroundings, my stomach grumbles and my feet begin to throb again. A sharp chill in the late afternoon air brings me to my senses and I know it’s time to make my way back down the mountain to the lake and finally head back to Zurich. I begrudgingly begin to wander with the throng of people headed towards the funicular, the cool breeze reminding me that I’ll soon be back to my normal life in England, my small apartment, swamped with school drudgery and bills to pay. My heart drops and I sigh in reluctance.
The journey back to my hotel feels long, and although the relaxing and warm train allows me the time to contemplate the experience of Switzerland so far, leaving Lugano has already given me a wistful sense of nostalgia. Frederick’s comment floats back to the forefront of my mind and as much as I try to reason with myself that it’s a silly notion that’ll never happen, I can’t help but fantasise about making the possibility a reality.
A few hours later, when I’m finally back in my hotel room, soaking in a hot bath filled with an entire bottle of designer complimentary bubbles, I start once again thinking that although my life isn’t bad, it could be way more fun and exciting than it is and it’s at that moment that I finally decide it’s time to take some sort of serious action and liven things up. Jay might have ruined my idea of a future, but I haven’t exactly been trying my best to carve a new path for myself. I’ve lost my way and floated along without really considering what it is I truly want. It’s not enough anymore to sit back and hope that things will change for me. I’ve got to be the one to initiate things. And surely that first change has to be finding more fulfilment – through work perhaps? After all, happiness is an inside job, right?
It’s time to become a woman on a mission. Everly Carter’s life is getting an overhaul…
‘Are you actually serious?’ Amy’s tone is bewildered and although I can’t see her expression because the Skype video won’t load, I know she’s frowning.
‘Dead serious. I’ve been looking online all morning – there’s loads of jobs on this site. You should see some of the places listed.’ I can hardly believe it myself.
‘You’re supposed to be on holiday, enjoying yourself, not sat in the hotel on the internet thinking up some crazy escapade purely because you have shit luck with men.’
As much as I love Amy, and I do love her because she’s my little sister, it’s not quite the happy enthusiasm I was expecting. She could be a little more supportive. But then, this is Amy who met her childhood sweetheart Jack at sixteen. Eleven years later they’re happily married, with two children, a lovely house and a dog. She’s never really been in a position to understand life being crap. Not that she’s had it easy, but she most certainly hasn’t had it like me; she’s never been heartbroken or had the rug pulled out from under her feet, nor has she had to work every hour under the sun to put a poky roof over her head. She’s content with her life, never aspiring for more, just happy and peaceful with her lot.
‘This isn’t about men though, Amy. This is about me.’ I walk across to the window of my room, pushing aside the curtain to peek at the view and simultaneously re-adjust my earphones. ‘I just feel like I need to try something different.’
‘Well, whatever. Just don’t go handing in your notice whilst you’re there – this Switzerland trip was random enough. I reckon you’re having a mid-life crisis.’
My Wi-Fi signal isn’t the best and the line crackles, but I can hear the disdain in her voice.
‘I’m not bloody having a mid-life crisis. If anything I’m closer to a quarter-life crisis thank you very much and anyway, it’s just an idea. It doesn’t mean I’m sacking off my job and floating off to India to ride elephants next week.’
‘Good, because Jack has a work colleague he wants to introduce you to. He’s apparently a really lovely bloke, so you never know…’ She breaks off and I immediately feel irritated but before I can butt in, she’s off on one again. ‘Oh, and Lily made a clay rabbit for you at school. Although it looks more like a rat.’
I soften at the thought of my niece Lily and feel my annoyance vanish. ‘How sweet. OK, I’ll pop round next week. I’ve got to go, I’m off out soon.’
‘Thank god for that, go get your head cleared of this moving abroad crap and enjoy your vacay. Send me some pics.’
I bite down on my tongue and cheerily agree, before saying a hurried goodbye and hanging up.
‘Well, that’s put a dampener on that,’ I mutter to myself, closing my laptop and wondering if Amy is right. What the hell am I thinking? I mean, yes, the teaching site I found has tons of jobs abroad, but do I really want to spend a year in Azerbaijan even if the salary and package is ridiculously generous? I sigh, letting the truth sink in. Probably not.
I decide to head out for lunch and after a quick pit stop via the concierge desk to catch up with Frederick, I find myself heading towards the shops. I’ve got my dinner date later and as much as I know it’s highly unlikely anything will come of it, or that Emir will even show up, I can’t help but get excited at the prospect of dinner with such a handsome, intriguing man. I decide to throw caution to the wind and really enjoy myself. This holiday is the perfect opportunity to do whatever the hell I like, and no one will ever be
