found it difficult to reconcile all of this, and what it might mean for my future. Of everything to be afraid of, it was Edmond’s interest which truly unsettled me. His interest would be a passing fancy, little else, and yet it might well ruin my life. I would be discarded as had Evelyn, and as had many others. My only security in life at present was my place within the Pengraic household. There was nothing else. My only future security would be a good marriage to a man with enough estates to ensure I would not lack, through any circumstance. Without that marriage I was truly most vulnerable.
Yet such a marriage rested only on Pengraic’s tenuous goodwill, for I had no dowry to attract interest. I could do nothing to threaten that goodwill if I wanted any future security in life. Pengraic had warned me against his son Stephen. What did he think now, knowing of the king’s interest? That I had deliberately aimed my ambitions higher than Stephen?
I worried and fretted all through the day. News of the plague slipped into the dim recesses of my mind. It was Edmond’s interest that represented my most immediate threat.
Despite what Lady Adelie had said about Pengraic, I could not wait to reach the castle within the Welsh Marches.
The king would be far distant then, and I could relax.
We would be leaving very early the next morning. Lady Adelie had said to me that the first two days would be hard riding, but then, having left behind the king and Pengraic with the greater part of their retinues at Oxeneford, we could travel in more leisurely a fashion to our destination. It was late in the night, and Evelyn and I were readying ourselves for sleep (there had been no feast tonight; merely grabbed food from a platter a servant had brought round), when Evelyn turned abruptly to reach for a shoe she had left to one side of the stool.
Suddenly she cried out in pain, both hands reaching for her back.
‘Evelyn! What has happened?’
She was white and biting her lips. ‘I have wrenched my back, Maeb. Oh, such stupidity! Why could I not have been more careful? And tomorrow we must travel. With this!’
I helped her to bed, Evelyn again crying out with pain as she lowered herself down. I wrapped a shawl about my chemise, and went down to the kitchens to get her a warm poultice for her back.
When finally I, too, went to bed, I cuddled up close to Evelyn, desperately tired, but not able to sleep. I wished for those long, calm, bright days of my early days at Rosseley, and wondered if they would ever come again.
We rose early the next day. Well, I rose, but Evelyn managed to get to her feet only with the most heartbreaking cries of pain. Her back was seized and swollen and every movement hurt. After I helped her to dress I left her sitting mournfully in the children’s chamber, watching as the nurse and Alice and Emmett managed to dress the children.
I went to aid Mistress Yvette get the countess ready. She was up, already in her linen chemise with Mistress Yvette helping her into her kirtle. The earl was with her, too, and I gave him a brief glance and quick dip of courtesy as I passed.
I could not look at his face.
‘Where is Evelyn?’ said the countess.
‘She wrenched her back badly last night, my lady. Forgive her not attending you this morning. She is in great pain.’
‘Oh, poor Evelyn!’ Lady Adelie said. ‘My lord, she will need to join me in my travelling cart. She cannot ride.’
Pengraic belted his tunic, then reached for his sword belt. ‘Your cart is already overladen, madam. The nurse and the two younger children will need space by your side, as will Mistress Yvette, who wobbles off any horse that goes beyond a walk.’
I kept my face downcast, amused by the mental image of Mistress Yvette ‘wobbling’ off her horse.
‘Now we must pack Evelyn in there some place.’ The earl paused. ‘Mistress Maeb, please tell me you do not require space atop the cart as well. The lighter it keeps, the faster it shall travel.’
‘I can ride well enough, my lord,’ I said, finally looking at him. He looked tired and irritated, but I think that was so much his normal expression I thought little enough of it.
‘By what do you mean “well enough”?’ he said.
‘I learned to ride on my father’s courser,’ I said. ‘The horse was old, but still of uncertain temper. Few managed him — my father and I alone.’
The earl stared, then gave a nod. ‘Well, we shall see. The saints alone know what horses are available. I will need to speak to Ludo. Madam,’ he continued, his attention now given back to his wife, ‘I will break my fast below. I need to oversee preparations. Be ready soon. It will be a long day’s journeying for us, and I cannot wait on your prayers.’
‘My lord,’ Lady Adelie said, and the earl left the solar.
She sighed, and turned back to Mistress Yvette. ‘Fetch me some bread and cheese, Yvette, and a mug of small beer. We can pray well enough when we are lurching along the road, and I do not wish to keep my lord awaiting. Maeb, how do the children?’
By the time I returned to the children’s chamber, they had all vanished to the courtyard below, and only the nurse remained, gathering a few last items.
‘Evelyn is waiting in the cart below,’ she said. ‘One of the servants carried her down the stairs. Fetch whatever you need, Maeb, and join us below.’
Suppressing a flare of excitement in my belly, I went to the small chamber Evelyn and I had shared, wrapped my mantle about my shoulders, picked up my bag of possessions and hurried down the stairs.
The courtyard was a mass of movement, cantankerous voices, nervous hooves slipping across cobbles and the excited barking of dogs. The larger part of the entourage that the king and the earls had brought with them was waiting on the road beyond, but the courtyard space was still crowded enough with men and carts and horses.
I stood undecided, not knowing what to do or where to turn, when the earl, who had been speaking to Ludo, his Master of Horse, turned and saw me. He said something to Ludo, and the man hurried over to me.
‘Saints save me, girl,’ Ludo said, his creased face even more deeply lined than usual on this morning, ‘I pray you spoke truth when you said you could manage a horse. Here, man, take this bag and set it into one of the carts — into that of my lady’s, if there be any room left.’
A groom appeared beside me, and I relinquished my bag.
‘This is the one mount I have available that might be suitable for you,’ Ludo continued, ‘and I value her too highly to allow her to be wasted on a doltish rider.’
There was a clatter of hooves, and another groom led over a lovely grey mare, all fine boned and dark eyed and flagged of tail. She was a palfrey, and thus an expensive horse — of far more worth than my father’s courser had been.
I felt the first needle of worry. What if I allowed her to run away from me and she foundered in a ditch?
‘I need to see you ride her first,’ said Ludo. ‘If I am not satisfied, you will need to walk behind the carts, unless a place is found for you within them. Come, we will go to the orchard. There is space there for me to see you ride Dulcette, yet
