but decided last minute to delete the kiss. Exhaling with frustration she added the kiss and pressed the send icon. Since when did she agonise over what to text him?
She got thumbs up in return. That was it. No kiss. But did it matter? She didn’t know any more. Because as much as she wanted to act fine, she wasn’t fine. It had made things weird. And she was about to find out why.
Her phone started beeping again and it was a split second before she realised it wasn’t another text but the alarm. It was time.
She walked over to the windowsill on the other side of the bathroom and turned the white stick over.
‘Shit,’ she whispered, and began to cry.
*****
Pippa
‘The usual, Pip?’
Pippa shook her head as she took out her purse from the floral Cath Kidston bag she wore over one shoulder. ‘No, I’m off the caffeine now. I’ll take a decaf tea with soya milk, please.’ She paused as she saw Zoe’s face in response to her request. ‘What?’
‘Decaf… with soya? What’s the reasoning?’
‘I don’t have to have a reason for trying something new, do I?’ She pulled her deep-brown plait over her shoulder and began to play with the end, purely for something to do with her hands.
Zoe looked at her suspiciously and Pippa found it hard to keep the smile hidden that was already creeping across her face. The two women stood for a couple of minutes looking at each other, neither one of them wanting to be the first to break the stare. Pippa, with the smile creeping ever so slowly over her lips and Zoe, keeping her hard stare of suspicion.
Eventually Pippa cracked. ‘Okay, fine. I am watching what I eat from now on.’ She gave her that snippet, but that was all. She released the smile – she was enjoying this tease. The excitement was bubbling in the pit of her stomach, ready to explode from her in a torrent of words and squeals. But not yet, she needed to keep her cool and wait for the right moment.
‘And why would you be doing that?’ Zoe asked, and Pippa saw the corners of her mouth starting to turn up. She knew. She had blatantly guessed.
‘Why do you think?’
‘You’re not?’
‘Not what?’
‘Stop it, you know what I mean!’ Zoe was springing up and down on her feet like an excitable five-year-old that had just been told they were flying to Disneyland, her choppy blonde bob bouncing around her face.
Pippa squeaked and nodded.
‘Oh my God, you’re pregnant?’ Zoe shouted, throwing her arms up and slapping them down onto her head.
Pippa immediately shushed her and looked around at the café full of customers. Laughing, she said, ‘Alright, the whole world doesn’t want to know.’
‘Eeek! Pip!’ Zoe rushed around from behind the counter and practically jumped into Pippa’s arms. She squeezed her tight, squealing constantly in her ear. ‘This is amazing news! When did you find out?’
‘This morning. I did the test this morning and it was positive!’
‘Have you told Jason? What did he say?’
Pippa opened her mouth to speak but Zoe held her hand up to silence her. ‘Hang on, let me get you your drink and a chair and you can tell me all about it.’ She rushed back behind the counter and set about making the tea. ‘Oh shit,’ she said as she fished the teabag out of the cup. ‘That’s not decaf. I tell you, I’m all over the place.’ She turned to look at Pippa again and smiled. ‘Pip, I’m so happy for you.’
‘Thank you, I’m so happy for me too!’ She really was. ‘It bloody took its time but it finally happened.’
‘I told you it would.’ Zoe pulled the chair from the side and placed it up against the serving hatch. ‘Sit here so you can tell me everything.’
Pippa gratefully took the chair and placed her bag down beside her. ‘I know you did, but it was just taking so long, I really thought it was never going to happen for us. No amount of planning, sex scheduling, positioning, reading… nothing was working.’
‘Well no, I don’t suppose reading would help to make a baby, Pip. You have to actually do the deed, not have your nose stuck inside a book. Unless you did it from behind, I suppose…’
‘Zoe! You know what I mean. I must’ve read like a million books about conceiving and tips to conceive and how to conceive…’
‘Again, sex pretty much does that job.’
‘Well, you would think, but Jason and I were at it like rabbits at one point and it still never happened.’ She became very aware of the elderly woman sitting on the table just to the left of her who had looked up at the mention of ‘at it like rabbits’ and seemed a little embarrassed. ‘Sorry,’ Pippa added, and turned back to Zoe, lowering her voice. ‘I actually think we had sex nearly ten times one day.’
Zoe passed her the tea over the counter and creased her brow. ‘Nearly?’
‘Well, it kind of slipped in but the door went so we had to stop.’ She glanced over her shoulder at the lady, who had decided enough was enough and was getting up to leave. ‘Oh, I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to put you off your food.’
The lady shook her head and left, muttering something about kids these days…
‘Cheers, you’re now costing me customers, thanks to your potty mouth.’ Pippa began to apologise again but quickly realised Zoe was far from being serious. ‘So, have you told Jason? What did he say? Is he as excited as you are?’
‘I haven’t told him yet. Look, I’ve got this.’ She pulled a card out of her bag.
‘Surprise!’ Zoe read the swirly lettering that embossed the front of the card. Opening it she smiled, saying ‘You’re going to be a Daddy.’
‘Isn’t it lovely? Do you think he’ll like it?’
‘He bloody better! Couldn’t you just, you know, ring him and tell him the good news?’
‘No! I’ve waited seven years for this moment.’
‘And how long have you had the card for?’ Zoe smiled at her and Pippa felt embarrassed that they both knew what kind of answer she was going to give.
‘About six years.’
Zoe laughed again and cut a slice of Bakewell tart from the counter. ‘Here, you nutter, have this. It was made with love by a very special person.’ She winked at her.
‘Flattery will get you nowhere. Which reminds me, I’ve made a coffee and walnut cake in addition to your order this week as I had a load of walnuts left over from that wedding cake I made.’
‘Amazing! I love coffee and walnut cake – can we just add that to the regular order anyway?’
‘No
