been back then, when Sebastian had enticed her away to the bright lights of London, to the city where all the women lived fabulously glamorous lives in their pretty ballerina pumps, or so she had thought. But Jessie had grown to realise over the years that it was often far easier to ‘get onboard’, as Sebastian was fond of saying, whenever one of his big, life-changing plans was mooted. Plus, the children would be so much happier in the village school, with its postage-stamp-sized playground and quaint clock tower on the roof – no more navigating the super-shiny 4x4 (Sebastian had insisted she drive the triplets in the oversized, but extra-safe tank, but she hated it, much preferring her clapped-out, old and very small Mini) through the narrow, congested streets of London on the nursery school run.
Moving here would mean just a short trundle through the village where the triplets’ new friends were bound to live, and perhaps Jessie would meet and make some friends of her own too! Yes, far nicer than having the children cloistered away inside some archaic boarding school, as Sebastian had been planning for far too soon after their sixth birthdays, having registered the children’s names before they were even born – so at least she had managed to hold out for something in return, this time, for distancing herself from her old life, her family, her friends, her support network … But then Jessie was under no illusion that this was precisely why Sebastian was so keen for them to move ‘down from London’ to the countryside. She’d make the best of it, as she always had, and maybe living in Tindledale would help them relax, Sebastian especially. That would be bound to have an enormously positive impact on them all.
Jessie closed her eyes and tilted her face up towards the rejuvenating rays of the early summer sun, letting the warm breeze cool her flushed cheeks as she wrapped her arms around herself and then ran a hand over her perfectly taut abdomen. She allowed herself a moment of contemplation, before her mind drifted back to more trivial thoughts – would she manage to find a yoga class to replace the one she loved in London? Tindledale village hall, perhaps! The estate agent had mentioned the thriving community and all that it had to offer: Brownies, Scouts, an amateur dramatics group; even a knitting club in the local haberdashery shop – and she had been meaning to learn to knit for ages now. And something about a summer show being a big part of village life – Jessie made a mental note to find out exactly what this entailed, as it certainly sounded more exciting than the flower-arranging sessions with the Women’s Institute that Sebastian had said would suit her. And then something else occurred to Jessie, something that made her heart sing, something that she hadn’t thought about for such a long time. Bees!
Jessie had loved keeping bees as a child. And chickens. Her dad had taught her how. And, for a while, she had even written about country life for a variety of farming magazines, before her own life had somehow turned into looking after the children and the home instead, so Sebastian could concentrate on his career. Well, maybe this was a chance to change things around and rekindle her passion for bees and chickens … goats and gardening too! The possibilities were endless. So Jessie made her decision. She would do what Sebastian wanted – what she wanted too, she was sure of it now – and move here, to the village of Tindledale.
So with her mind made up, and a sudden urgency to hike back to the car and drive straight to the estate agent’s office to sign all the paperwork for the new house, Jessie took a deep breath and allowed herself one last thought of ‘what if?’ before shaking her head and exhaling hard, knowing there really was no other solution. This was how it had to be. And besides, a fresh start away from London and the distraction there was probably for the best …
As if on autopilot, I flick on the kettle and select two mugs – one with Best Mum Ever on for me, the other with a swirly letter J for Jack. I spoon coffee granules into each of them and then I remember. Jack isn’t here any more! I let out a long breath, before twirling my wavy fair hair up into a messy bun, securing it with a red bobble band from a wonky clay dish Jack made for me in nursery all those years ago – it’s been proudly displayed on the windowsill ever since – before storing his cup back in the kitchen cabinet. Jack has only been gone a week, but I have to say that it’s felt like the longest seven days of my life. Although not quite as bad as when he first went away, back in September – that was really difficult. For a while, it was as if a chunk of my heart was actually missing, which might sound completely melodramatic, but it’s true; it was like a physical pain, a knot of emptiness wedged just below my breastbone that I just couldn’t seem to shift. You see, Jack and I kind of grew up together – I wasn’t much older than Jack is now, when he was born. I know it’s only university and he’ll be back again in a few months for the summer holidays, but still … I guess it’s taking me some time to adjust to my now empty nest.
But I am so proud of him, I really am, and that should make this transitional phase of my life a whole lot easier to cope with. It’s just that I’m so used to keeping it all together for Jack and me – now it’s only for me, it feels very strange indeed. I inhale sharply and drop a sugar lump into my cup, before giving it a good stir, taking care not to clatter the spoon excessively against the side of the mug – Jack hates the sound of it, especially after a late night of gaming with his mates up in his attic bedroom, and even though he isn’t here I find it comforting to remember our familiar family quirks and oddities. I smile fondly at the memory of me bellowing up the stairs for him to turn the volume down or at least put on the expensive Bose headphones that he saved up so long for – working weekends collecting glasses and helping out in the Duck & Puddle pub in the village.
Dunking a digestive biscuit into my coffee, I allow myself a small moment of satisfaction on thinking how well Jack has turned out; even pride, perhaps, as I remember how tough it was too at times – everyone knows that being a single parent is certainly no sauntering stroll in the park. There were many occasions where another adult, someone else to rant to when Jack had ripped his new school trousers after only a day’s wear, would have been very welcome indeed. And someone to share the highs with, like when he was Joseph in the school nativity play and delivered his lines so promptly and perfectly as I watched on with happy tears in my eyes. And then more tears when his place at Leeds University was confirmed, studying architectural engineering, which is no surprise, as Jack has always loved building things. I blame Lego! But no, everything isn’t AWESOME! Well, I guess it is for Jack – a whole new life, an exciting adventure; but why does he have to do it so far away from home? Our lovely little village. Tindledale, the place where he was born, right here in our cosy, tile-hung, two-bedroom cottage, to be exact, on the Laura Ashley rug in front of the log burner in the lounge.
I had called an ambulance, but by the time it had hacked along all the country lanes from Market Briar, the nearest big town, Jack’s scrunched-up bloody face was peering up at me, and my dear friend, Lawrence, who runs the local B&B and is a retired thespian (strolling home on that balmy summer night after a Tindledale Players rehearsal) heard my sweary screams through the open window (and I really am not a swearer, but the pain was excruciating, to be fair) and dashed in the back door to placate my mother, who was hollering out of the hands-free home phone, perched up on the mantelpiece, for me to ‘Pant hard, Megan. PANT HARD!’ And adding, ‘I knew I should have booked an earlier flight’, in between chain-smoking her way through a packet of Lucky Strike, followed by lots of sympathy sighs and intermittent ear-splitting shrieks from her duplex apartment in Tenerife. And Mum has never forgiven me for making her miss the birth of her only grandchild, allegedly … although I have no recollection of actually telling her the wrong due date, but for years she was adamant that I had. ‘Why else would I have written it on my wall calendar, a total of nineteen days after the actual event?’ she had said in an extra-exasperated voice.
Anyway, having Jack is the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I adore children, which is very handy given that I’m a teacher – acting head teacher, to be precise – at the Tindledale village school, the same
