The Revolt: A Play In One Act. Butler Ellis Parker

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style="font-size:15px;">      GRANDMA, (rubbing knees) Swell joints? Yes, my dear, a little rheumatiz makes the joints swell. But I don't complain. I'm an old lady. I have to expect some aches and pains at my time of life. I'm thankful I can do a little good work in the world. Do you understand What your duties will be?

      SUSAN. Sure Mike! I'm the Husbandology lady. I teach the girls how to treat their husbands when they get 'em.

      GRANDMA. Just so. You will lecture on How to Coddle and Pet a Husband. Five lectures. Then you will give five lectures on Smoothing the Lines of

      Care from Hubby's Brow. Then – of course you show by example how all this is done.

      SUSAN. By example? You don't have a man here, do you?

      GRANDMA. We use the practical method in our classes. "Practice makes perfect," you know, (calls) Pauline!

      PAULINE, (off stage) Yes'm, I'm comin'.

      GRANDMA, (calling) Bring me the Ideal Husband, Pauline.

      PAULINE. Yes'm. In a minute, mam.

      (Enter PAULINE with the Dummy Husband under her arm. She throws it into a chair. Exit.)

      GRANDMA. There! That is our Ideal Husband. He is all a husband should be. He does not drink nor smoke. He does not go to the club at night. He never says an unkind word. And he is happy. Do you know why?

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