yeah. So who am I?»
I looked closer at the dark circles under his eyes, at the bruises on his cheek and neck, at the scars on his arms and… into those insanely kind but resentful eyes.
«People’s eyes always give them away.»
«So who am I?»
«You-re like a… uh…» I smiled hesitantly, «a little dog, I guess. A little dog who’s been hurt.»
«A dog?» A smile appeared on his face.
«I don’t know, you just reminded me of a dog. They have those exact same eyes: kind but hurt.»
«I’m… a dog.» Dave laughed and puffed his cigarette in the other direction, «Never met anyone like you.»
«And you never will,» I said. «Did you ever think that things would turn out this way?»
«You mean my life?»
«M-hm.»
«I guess there wasn’t ever any time to think. It all happened so fast. And… of course, back then, a minute felt like an eternity. Anyway, none of that matters. The main thing is I’m here right now, and…» he looked at me, «and you’re here too. All those fears are behind me.»
«Stop it.» I smiled and nudged him gently in the side.
Our discussion continued in the kitchen.
«What kind of fears?»
«Fear of silence, of loneliness. There was one time when Lee moved to Los Angeles to find work for us, and I stayed in Boston, in a one-night shelter for homeless people. We were able to trick our way into staying there for a week, but people got wise and kicked us around. But that’s beside the point. It was already late at night, and it was really cold. I had a temperature, plus I’d had a few extra smokes. I was alone in a small room with seven empty beds. It was there, in that silence, that it hit me how totally alone I was. And I already assumed that Lee wouldn’t come back, because we weren’t exactly on great terms at the time. I was always getting into fights, landing in jail.»
«And into piles of shit,» grumbled Lee sleepily, getting up from the couch and giving us a wave before heading to the bathroom.
«And it was there, in that little room, that I began to pray. For the first time in my life, I turned to God. I didn’t breathe for about ten seconds, and then it felt like God gave me another chance. I took a deep breath…»
«Maybe this time don’t let that chance pass you by, moron!» Lee shouted from the bathroom.
«He doesn’t always get me,» David whispered.
«And did you use your second chance?»
«It’s hard to answer that question.»
Lee joined us for breakfast.
«Coffee?» I asked.
«Yes, please.»
They jabbed each other in the side and immediately sat up straight when I looked over.
«What’s the plan today?»
«Dunno. How about you guys?»
David’s phone rang and he quickly left the apartment. Not the room, the apartment.
«Are there no napkins?» Lee asked.
«Ran out of them yesterday.»
«Know what I had a dream about?» he said contemplatively.
«What?»
«That everything was ok.»
«What’s that supposed to mean?»
«Basically, I don’t really remember my dream. But something good was going on.»
I smiled and poured myself some more coffee.
«Like coffee?»
«I love it.»
David came back and burst out in the doorway:
«I gotta go: it’s urgent! I’ll call you when I’m free. Connie, thank you so much, everything was perfect,» he kissed me just above my forehead, slapped Lee hard on the back, and ran out.
Lee’s gaze followed him.
«He’s a dick, for sure. But do you know what always impressed me about him? He never, ever gives up. Takes things through to the end. You wouldn’t believe what that, uh, entrepreneur of ours has gone through.»
I slid hot pancakes onto Lee’s plate.
«In school he got into a fight during every break. As a punishment, his foster father used to whip him on the back with a belt. We tried to run away twice. But our timing was off. And anyway, one day Dave decided it’d be hard on his foster parents. He was feeling guilty about it. But guilt didn’t play a big part in our lives,» Lee laughed, «we completely forgot about that for a couple years! Especially when we started living independently. Dave got into a big fight with two guys. One of them died, and David was charged with murder. He went to jail during the investigation. Of course, by then his foster parents had heard about everything. But enough time had gone by that they didn’t press him to come home. Plus, he had a bad relationship with his foster father because of the daughter.»
«Did they defend him in court?»
«Not exactly. They were present – they gave, like a description… I mean, his foster mother talked about what a gentle boy he was, that kinda thing… Pretty useless crap for the court.»
«What about his lawyer?»
«We got lucky: we found a lawyer who’d never had a case like that before. He was fresh out of law school and offered to do the job on the cheap. Back then we had absolutely nothing. His foster parents at first refused to pay, but Marilyn – the foster mother – gave a little bit of money. I chipped in everything I’d earned up until then. Basically, everything worked out in the end: David was found innocent and let go. But that depression he fell into at the time still hasn’t left him. When I couldn’t get him out of jail, he finally cracked. I mean, I did get him out of jail, but only two years later. That jail was horrible. The shit that happened to him there… You think he was always like that? That he was one more difficult teenager? Nope. I remember him. And then the turning point after jail. I was already sure that one day I’d open the door and see a body hanging from a noose. His first overdose and, of course, the first drugs… serious drugs. Things got out of hand. I even said goodbye to him, subconsciously. Literally everything around us was rotten. Then he was able to get a job at a club. Well, part of me was happy for him, that he was doing some kind of work. But then he was fired. I found him half-alive by a dumpster a little ways from the place.»
«God…» I whispered, listening to Lee attentively.
«Yeah, it wasn’t easy. I’m surprised by his behavior now: he’s practically a normal person. Well, an explosive normal person.»
He reached for the pancakes and the maple syrup.
«Long story short, after that we found somewhere to
