of the Coif, who was disturbed by Vin’s address whilst in deep consultation with an eminent attorney; “hold your peace! You are the loudest-tongued varlet betwixt the Devil’s Tavern and Guildhall.”
“A watch,” reiterated the undaunted Jenkin, “that shall not lose thirteen minutes in a thirteen years’ lawsuit. – He’s out of hearing – A watch with four wheels and a bar-movement – a watch that shall tell you, Master Poet, how long the patience of the audience will endure your next piece at the Black Bull.” The bard laughed, and fumbled in the pocket of his slops till he chased into a corner, and fairly caught, a small piece of coin.
“Here is a tester to cherish thy wit, good boy,” he said.
“Gramercy,” said Vin; “at the next play of yours I will bring down a set of roaring boys, that shall make all the critics in the pit, and the gallants on the stage, civil, or else the curtain shall smoke for it.”
“Now, that I call mean,” said Tunstall, “to take the poor rhymer’s money, who has so little left behind.”
“You are an owl, once again,” said Vincent; “if he has nothing left to buy cheese and radishes, he will only dine a day the sooner with some patron or some player, for that is his fate five days out of the seven. It is unnatural that a poet should pay for his own pot of beer; I will drink his tester for him, to save him from such shame; and when his third night comes round, he shall have penniworths for his coin, I promise you. – But here comes another-guess customer. Look at that strange fellow – see how he gapes at every shop, as if he would swallow the wares. – O! Saint Dunstan has caught his eye; pray God he swallow not the images. See how he stands astonished, as old Adam and Eve ply their ding-dong! Come, Frank, thou art a scholar; construe me that same fellow, with his blue cap with a cock’s feather in it, to show he’s of gentle blood, God wot – his grey eyes, his yellow hair, his sword with a ton of iron in the handle – his grey thread-bare cloak – his step like a Frenchman – his look like a Spaniard – a book at his girdle, and a broad dudgeon-dagger on the other side, to show him half-pedant, half-bully. How call you that pageant, Frank?”
“A raw Scotsman,” said Tunstall; “just come up, I suppose, to help the rest of his countrymen to gnaw old England’s bones; a palmerworm, I reckon, to devour what the locust has spared.”
“Even so, Frank,” answered Vincent; “just as the poet sings sweetly, —
‘In Scotland he was born and bred,
And, though a beggar, must be fed.’”
“Hush!” said Tunstall, “remember our master.”
“Pshaw!” answered his mercurial companion; “he knows on which side his bread is buttered, and I warrant you has not lived so long among Englishmen, and by Englishmen, to quarrel with us for bearing an English mind. But see, our Scot has done gazing at St. Dunstan’s, and comes our way. By this light, a proper lad and a sturdy, in spite of freckles and sun-burning. – He comes nearer still, I will have at him.”
“And, if you do,” said his comrade, “you may get a broken head – he looks not as if he would carry coals.”
“A fig for your threat,” said Vincent, and instantly addressed the stranger. “Buy a watch, most noble northern Thane – buy a watch, to count the hours of plenty since the blessed moment you left Berwick behind you. – Buy barnacles, to see the English gold lies ready for your gripe. – Buy what you will, you shall have credit for three days; for, were your pockets as bare as Father Fergus’s, you are a Scot in London, and you will be stocked in that time.” The stranger looked sternly at the waggish apprentice, and seemed to grasp his cudgel in rather a menacing fashion. “Buy physic,” said the undaunted Vincent, “if you will buy neither time nor light – physic for a proud stomach, sir; – there is a ‘pothecary’s shop on the other side of the way.”
Here the probationary disciple of Galen, who stood at his master’s door in his flat cap and canvass sleeves, with a large wooden pestle in his hand, took up the ball which was flung to him by Jenkin, with, “What d’ye lack, sir? – Buy a choice Caledonian salve, Flos sulphvr. cum butyro quant. suff.”
“To be taken after a gentle rubbing-down with an English oaken towel,” said Vincent.
The bonny Scot had given full scope to the play of this small artillery of city wit, by halting his stately pace, and viewing grimly, first the one assailant, and then the other, as if menacing either repartee or more violent revenge. But phlegm or prudence got the better of his indignation, and tossing his head as one who valued not the raillery to which he had been exposed, he walked down Fleet Street, pursued by the horse-laugh of his tormentors.
“The Scot will not fight till he see his own blood,” said Tunstall, whom his north of England extraction had made familiar with all manner of proverbs against those who lay yet farther north than himself.
“Faith, I know not,” said Jenkin; “he looks dangerous, that fellow – he will hit some one over the noddle before he goes far. – Hark! – hark! – they are rising.”
Accordingly, the well-known cry of, “‘Prentices – ‘prentices – Clubs – clubs!” now rang along Fleet Street; and Jenkin, snatching up his weapon, which lay beneath the counter ready at the slightest notice, and calling to Tunstall to take his bat and follow, leaped over the hatch-door which protected the outer-shop, and ran as fast as he could towards the affray, echoing the cry as he ran, and elbowing, or shoving aside, whoever stood in his way. His comrade, first calling to his master to give an eye to the shop, followed Jenkin’s example, and ran after him as fast as he could, but with more attention to the safety and convenience of others; while old David Ramsay, with hands and eyes uplifted, a green apron before him, and a glass which he had been polishing thrust into his bosom, came forth to look after the safety of his goods and chattels, knowing, by old experience, that, when the cry of “Clubs” once arose, he would have little aid on the part of his apprentices.
CHAPTER II
This, sir, is one among the Seignory,
Has wealth at will, and will to use his wealth,
And wit to increase it. Marry, his worst folly
Lies in a thriftless sort of charity,
That goes a-gadding sometimes after objects,
Which wise men will not see when thrust upon them.
The ancient gentleman bustled about his shop, in pettish displeasure at being summoned hither so hastily, to the interruption of his more abstract studies; and, unwilling to renounce the train of calculation which he had put in progress, he mingled whimsically with the fragments of the arithmetical operation, his oratory to the passengers, and angry reflections on his idle apprentices. “What d’ye lack, sir? Madam, what d’ye lack – clocks for hall or table – night-watches – day watches? —Locking wheel being 48 – the power of retort 8 – the striking pins are 48– What d’ye lack, honoured sir? —The quotient – the multiplicand– That the knaves should have gone out this blessed minute! —the acceleration being at the rate of 5 minutes, 55 seconds, 53 thirds, 59 fourths– I will switch them both when they come back – I will, by the bones of the immortal Napier!”
Here the vexed philosopher was interrupted by the entrance of a grave citizen of a most respectable appearance, who, saluting him familiarly by the name of “Davie, my old acquaintance,” demanded what had put him so much out of sorts, and gave him at the same time a cordial grasp of his hand.
The stranger’s dress was, though grave,
