we lived without repining,Toiling, toiling, week by week;
But I saw her silent sufferings
By the pallor of her cheek.
"Love like mine was eagle sighted;
Vainly did she strive to keep
All her sufferings from my knowledge,
And to lull my fears to sleep.
"Well I knew her days were numbered;
And, as she approached her end,
Stronger grew the love between us,
Doubly was she parent – friend!
"God permitted that her spirit
Should through stormy floods be led,
That she might converse with angels
While she toiled for daily bread.
"Wondrous oft were her communings,
As of one to life new-born,
When I watched beside her pillow,
'Twixt the midnight and the morn.
"Still she lay through one long Sabbath,
But as evening closed she woke,
And like one amazed with sorrow,
Thus with pleading voice she spoke:
"'God will give whate'er is needful;
Will sustain from day to day;
This I know – yet worldly fetters
Keep me still a thrall to clay!
"'Oh, my son, from these world-shackles
Only thou canst set me free!'
'Speak thy wish,' said I, 'my mother,
Lay thy lov'd commands on me!'
"As if strength were given unto her
For some purpose high, she spake:
'I have toiled, and – like a miser —
Hoarded, hoarded for thy sake.
"'Not for sordid purpose hoarded,
But to free from outward blame,
From the tarnish of dishonor,
Thy dead father's sacred name,
"'And I lay on thee this duty —
'Tis my last request, my son —
Lay on thee this solemn duty
Which I die and leave undone!
"'Promise, that thy dearest wishes,
Pleasure, profit, shall be naught,
Until, to the utmost farthing,
Thou this purpose shalt have wrought!'
"And I promised. All my being
Freely, firmly answered, yea!
Thus absolved, her angel-spirit,
Breathing blessings, passed away.
"Once more in the noisy, jostling
Human crowd; I seemed to stand,
Like to him who goes to battle,
With his life within his hand.
"All things wore a different aspect;
I was now mine own no more:
Pleasure, wealth, the smile of woman
All a different meaning bore.
"Thus I toiled – though young, not youthful
Ever mingling in the crowd,
Yet apart; my life, my labor,
To a solemn purpose vowed.
"Yet even duty had its pleasure,
And I proudly kept apart;
Lord of all my weaker feelings;
Monarch of my subject heart.
"Foolish boast! My pride of purpose
Proved itself a feeble thing,
When thy uncle brought me hither,
In the pleasant time of Spring.
"Said he, 'Thou hast toiled too closely;
Thou shalt breathe our country air;
Thou shalt come to us on Sundays,
And thy failing health repair!'
"Now began my hardest trial.
What had I with love to do?
Loving thee was sin 'gainst duty,
And 'gainst thy good uncle too!
"Until now my heart was cheerful;
Duty had been light till now,
– Oh that I were free to woo thee;
That my heart had known no vow!
"Yet, I would not shrink from duty;
Nor my vow leave unfulfilled!
– Still, still, had my mother known thee,
Would she thus have sternly willed?
"Wherefore did my angel-mother
Thus enforce her dying prayer?
– Yet what right had I to seek thee,
Thou, thy uncle's wealthy heir!
"Thus my spirit cried within me;
And that inward strife began,
That wild warfare of the feelings
Which lays waste the life of man.
"In such turmoil of the spirit,
Feeble is our human strength;
Life seems stripped of all its glory:
– Yet was duty lord at length.
"So at least I deemed. But meeting
Toward the pleasant end of May
With thy uncle, here he brought me,
I who long had kept away.
"He was willful, thy good uncle;
I was such a stranger grown;
I must go to hear the reading
Of a ballad of his own.
"Willing to be won, I yielded.
Canst thou not that eve recall,
When the lilacs were in blossom,
And the sunshine lay o'er all?
"On the bench beneath the lilacs,
Sate we; and thy uncle read
That sweet, simple, wondrous ballad,
Which my own heart's woe portrayed.
"'Twas a simple tale of nature —
Of a lowly youth who gave
All his heart to one above him,
Loved, and filled an early grave.
"But the fine tact of the poet
Laid the wounded spirit bare,
Breathed forth all the silent anguish
Of the breaking heart's despair.
"'Twas as if my soul had spoken,
And at
