emotions include thoughts such as ‘I can't do that’, ‘I’m scared', ‘It's not fair’, ‘I’m such an idiot', ‘It's his fault’, ‘It's her fault’, ‘Nothing ever goes right for me’ and ‘I wish I hadn't done that.’
We usually think of emotions like fear, worry, disappointment etc. as ‘negative emotions’. Why? Because they make us feel bad. And yet, these emotions, like all other emotions, do actually have a positive intent.
Take, for example, the emotion of guilt. Typically, the thoughts that accompany guilt are ‘I’ve screwed up, I shouldn't have done that, it's my fault. I feel bad about what I did.'
How can this way of thinking be positive? Well, the positive intent of guilt is to prompt you to recognize your wrongdoing and then to think about and take action to put right or make up for what you did wrong.
If, though, when you feel guilty you simply wallow in your guilt, beat yourself up about what you did wrong or try and suppress or deny how you feel, then your thoughts and actions (or lack of action) remain negative. Those thoughts and actions or inactions do you no good whatsoever.
The positive intentions of ‘negative’ emotions act in the same way as the positive intention of physical pain. If, for example, you touch something really hot, the pain makes you pull away. It feels bad, but the positive intention of that pain is to protect you. It's the same with emotional pain; it can prompt you to take positive action.
What about a difficult emotion such as regret? How can that be positive? The positive intent of regret is to prompt you to learn from what you now wish you had or hadn't done; to behave differently in future. Regret is only negative when you are stuck in regret; you allow it to keep you there and leave you feeling defeated and hopeless. But it's not the emotion that's negative, it's your thinking and lack of positive response!
Furthermore, the fact that you know that emotions such as guilt and regret make you feel bad can actually motivate you, too. They can motivate you not to do something that could result in you feeling guilty or regretful.
Narrow perspectives
Emotions such as guilt, fear, anger, sadness and regret narrow your perspective and your thinking. There is a good reason for this; narrowed thinking focuses your attention on the ‘negative’ situation so that it becomes the only thing you can think about in order that you take action. Positive action. Again, just like putting your hand on something hot, all your attention is focused on it, and your response ispositive (and quick!).
Supposing, for example, you're anxious about a test or an exam. The positive intent of anxiety is to focus your thoughts on what you need to revise. It starts to work against you, though, if the anxiety overwhelms you.
Or, supposing one Friday evening you notice a mole on your arm that seems different. You're worried about it. Worry forces you to think about little else over the weekend other than getting to see a doctor on Monday. It's annoying that you can think of little else, but the fact that you are so preoccupied makes it likely you'll go and see the doctor and get the mole checked out.
Another example of an emotion that narrows and focuses your thinking is sadness. Sadness helps you to slow down enough to take in and adjust to your loss.
Emotions such as sadness, anxiety, worry and guilt might not feel good yet they do have beneficial aspects if you respond to them positively. If you don't act positively on those emotions, if you let them overwhelm you, they can contract and distort your world and keep you feeling bad.
In contrast, ‘positive’ emotions such as hope, compassion and happiness and their associated positive thoughts, can expand your world and the possibilities in it.
Broad perspectives
Psychologist Barbara Fredrickson's research at the University of Carolina shows that positive emotions broaden your sense of possibilities and open your mind, which in turn allows you to see more possibilities and options in a range of situations in your life.
In an experiment by Fredrickson, groups of people were shown different film clips. The first two groups were shown clips that created feelings of contentment and joy. The last two groups were shown clips that provoked feelings of fear and anger. Afterwards, each participant was asked to imagine themselves in a situation where similar negative or positive feelings would arise and to write down as many ways as they could think of that they could respond.
Participants who had seen images of fear and anger wrote down a few responses. Meanwhile, the participants who saw images of joy and contentment wrote down a significantly higher number of actions that they would take.
A University of Toronto study even suggests that what we see can be affected by a positive or negative outlook; that positive or negative thinking can change the way our visual cortex – the part of the brain responsible for processing visual information – operates. The study showed that when in a positive mood, our visual cortex takes in more information, while negative moods result in tunnel vision. It would appear that seeing the world through rose-coloured glasses is more than a metaphor!
Positive emotions and their associated positive thoughts open you up to new ideas and new experiences and possibilities. You feel positive about situations and other people. Ten years ago Lou worked for a local government authority. Here, he explains how his perspective differed from that of his colleague, Ned:
I was offered redundancy from my job. Although it wasn't a brilliant redundancy package, I took it.
Telling my friend Ned about it, he thought I was mad to take redundancy; I had two children and my wife was expecting another child. I explained to Ned how free I felt and I told him about my plans to start an online greetings card business.
Ned still thought I was mad; all he could see were the risks. But my view of the world was one of opportunity and new horizons. Of course I realized it wasn't going to be easy but I would be free from the rat race, I would be my own boss, my time would be more flexible, and I would get to see my wife and children a lot more than I had in the past. I was excited about the possibilities opening up to me. And if it didn't work out I would do whatever it took to get back into employment.
Ned didn't understand. He told me that for him, the security of a full-time job was the most important thing. He said that even though he really didn't enjoy his job – it was stressful, he hated his boss and he often worked long hours – he couldn't see any other way. He felt trapped.
Well, as it turned out, I worked at my business for three years and made a reasonable living from it. And I got to spend a lot of time with the children. I eventually sold the business because my wife was made redundant and we figured I'd have a better chance of getting a well-paid employed job. She had also reached a point where she wanted to spend more time at home.
Lou's positive thinking reflects an open mind and broadens his ideas, thoughts and actions whereas Ned's negative thinking limits and narrows his world, his opportunities and choices.
Positive thinking brings hope; the feeling that what you want can happen or that events can turn out for the best. Negative thinking creates a spiral of unhelpful thoughts and difficult feelings. Even when good things happen, negative thinkers tend to see the negative aspects of a situation.
Of course, everybody's view of the world is different, but if you think life is mostly good, you'll notice opportunities and good things in your life; if you think life is difficult, you will find obstacles and difficulties in life.
How positive are you?
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