No One Ever Told Us That. John D. Spooner

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to the public for a fee. It could merchandise the goods. It could not run a business. Which is why so many great names on the Street turned to dust, and their names disappeared.

      Almost always when you see the press stories surrounding every big merger, the two chief executive officers (CEOs) are pictured shaking hands, toasting, and celebrating the grand event. And they say, smiling, with reassuring tones, “Nothing will change.” I will tell you that everything will change. It's the nature of mergers, like the losers and winners in wars. And there is no such thing as a marriage, or merger, of equals.

      Machiavelli is still being read today, after 600 years. You should pay attention, of course, to your own careers and try to think in detached ways about this. If a merger of your company and another is announced, ask yourself, “Who is my rabbi, or protector, in this company, and is he or she likely to remain in a position of power?” If the answer to yourself is a bit shaky, I would drop the new CEO a personal note, and have it be a provocative one. It may, of course, be viewed as sucking up. And it is. But it is provocative, meaning in this sense, different from what most people would say, designed to make the recipient think, “Hmmm..” about you, getting you on his or her radar. How do you do that? Tell a little story about how you got hired, about an unusual hobby you have, a helpful observation about how something could be done better in the company, or something a client or customer suggested to you, showing your curiosity and enthusiasm about looking at problems in creative ways. The point is to separate yourself subtly from the crowd.

      All mergers produce anxiety on both sides. Position yourself to be a personality, someone to be watched. Of course, you have to deliver, but first you have to plant a seed. And you plant it by being a little bit different.

There is no such thing as mergers of equals

      CHAPTER 4

      ENTITLEMENT

      If entitlement is not your least favorite word, it should be. This word is used a lot in modern American society, particularly among the new adults we all see. I know young people who before they've ever cashed a paycheck, have been helicopter skiing in Canada, windsurfing in the Bahamas, sailing in the Greek isles, staying in suites at the Bristol in Paris, and on safari in Tanzania.

      This is not sour grapes. It's just my fear that these blessings early in life give these people the very false sense that all of their adult lives will be more of the same.

      My father drummed into me, at an early age, one of his favorite lines, “Just remember, life is really hard, punctuated by moments of brilliance.” And I now think this was right. He carried it to extremes, however. If he was given a new sweater for a present, he would not put it on until he had a day where he deemed himself worthy. Deprivation, because of superstition, is not a very healthy quality.

      I went to college with a group of guys I called “the golden boys.” They were handsome, successful on the athletic fields and in their social lives, and comfy in their natural sense of superiority, in their belief that their lives after college would be a continuation of their early privileged childhoods. Life would be one continuous coming-out party. For almost all the golden boys, this was their finest hour, and life after school proved to be one disappointment after another. They found it very difficult to shake off childhood and reinvent themselves.

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