better skills, abilities or personal qualities and better or more resources and possessions. We compare what we think is the worst of ourselves to the best we presume about others.
You may even look for further evidence to support and confirm what you’ve decided is true; the negative ways in which you don’t match up, what you don’t have, can’t do or will never be. But these sorts of negative comparisons only create resentment and feelings of unfairness and deprivation.
There is nothing noble about being superior to some other man. The true nobility is in being superior to your previous self. – Hindu proverb
Break free of the negative comparison habit. Ask yourself, ‘How does comparing myself or my situation to others make me feel?’ If comparisons leave you feeling resentful, discouraged and feeling bad about yourself, then clearly it’s not helpful to think like this.
Focus on you. Comparing yourself to someone else puts the focus on the wrong person. Your skills, abilities, contributions and value are entirely unique to you. They can never be fairly compared to anyone else. Your time and effort could be better spent thinking positively about yourself. Compare yourself to yourself. Focus on what you have done and are doing rather than what everyone else has done and is doing. Reflect on what you’ve experienced, achieved and/or overcome. See how far you have come compared to last week, last year, two years ago, five years ago. And if you’ve suffered a setback, focus on how you can move forward and gain ground again.
Instead of comparing yourself with others, be inspired by others. Rather than compare yourself with other people who are ‘better’ or have more than you, see others as role models to learn from and inspire you. When you allow yourself to feel inspired by others, you can feel motivated to achieve and do well according to your own abilities, skills and resources.
Compare less. Appreciate more. Being more aware of what you do have rather than what, compared to others, you don’t have, is a far more positive direction to take. Identify the good fortune, privileges and qualities you have and build on them.
BEING WITH POSITIVE PEOPLE
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. —
Confidence and self-esteem come not just from what you believe about yourself and your abilities but also what other people – family, friends, colleagues etc. – think and believe about you and how they behave towards you and respond to you.
If you believe something about yourself – it could be positive or negative – and other people believe that about you too, then together you make it a reality. In a variety of situations, being positively noticed, encouraged or praised by others can help you build a positive view of yourself. However, not being valued by others and receiving negative responses from other people can make it more likely that you will lack confidence and have low self-esteem.
Throughout your life you come across all kinds of people, different in many ways. But when it comes to how they impact on your self-esteem and confidence, other people can fall into one of two camps: they are either ‘drains’ or ‘radiators.' People who are radiators emanate warmth and positivity, while drains can leave you feeling … drained. Their negativity can drain your self-esteem and confidence.
Конец ознакомительного фрагмента.
Текст предоставлен ООО «ЛитРес».
Прочитайте эту книгу целиком, купив полную легальную версию на ЛитРес.
Безопасно оплатить книгу можно банковской картой Visa, MasterCard, Maestro, со счета мобильного телефона, с платежного терминала, в салоне МТС или Связной, через PayPal, WebMoney, Яндекс.Деньги, QIWI Кошелек, бонусными картами или другим удобным Вам способом.
