the most vulnerable things a leader can do, and in that vulnerability, there are risk, fear, and pain that require courage.
The Courage to Give and Receive Feedback. “The Courage to Give and Receive Feedback” illuminates the importance of having tough conversations in the midst of tough times for clarifying meaning, as well as obtaining healthy results long term.
The Courage to Be in the Middle. “The Courage to Be in the Middle” takes a deep dive into the world of systems thinking, specifically the work of Barry Oshry and the courage it takes to live in the middle space of organizational life.
Grow, Recover, Repeat. In the first eight chapters, you’ll explore ways in which you need to push past the pain and do the right thing for your team’s and organization’s success as part of their growth. That kind of courage is exhausting and requires appropriate recovery to continue to maintain a courageous approach to leadership. In this chapter, you will explore methods of recovery after growth.
Big Dreams, Big Moves. In all of us is the ability to soar beyond our wildest imaginations, but we mostly don’t. It’s not that it is out of our control to live up to our potential but that we haven’t challenged ourselves enough to live our Big Dreams by making Big Moves toward those dreams. This chapter serves as the conduit to begin moving from possibility to planned success and measurable outcomes.
Over the course of 20 years, I have worked with leaders all over the world, from varying backgrounds, levels of expertise, and industries. I’ve worked as their peer, their coach, their facilitator, their teacher, and their guide. I’ve had the great privilege of observing their courageous stories unfold, one leader at a time. They may not have considered themselves courageous, but I do. Even those who failed, or at least failed in the moment I was with them on their journey, demonstrated great courage in their willingness to suit up and play the game. I am the keeper of their stories. I have an endless bookshelf built in my mind that holds their triumphs and their misfortunes. I hope that, as I share these stories with you, you will also gain a significant appreciation for the role courage plays in leadership. Although there is no magic formula to being courageous, I’ll share with you my formula for courage, concocted from the study of experiences.
Because learning can be vulnerable, it is important to me, as I assimilate the experiences of the leaders I’ve worked with into telling the story of The Courageous Leader, that I reflect as much of their real experiences as possible, while maintaining their confidentiality. In most cases, I’ve changed the leaders’ names. In others, where the details of a story point more clearly to a person and situation, I’ve altered the details while honoring the intent of the stories as much as possible. Some stories I tell represent a collective story of many leaders told as one to convey the purpose of their learning; these stories are not factually based on any one person or situation.
It is also important to communicate that, at times, I share leaders’ stories as they conveyed them to me during an interview. At other times, I tell the stories from my own perspective, observations, and point of view. I am an expert in leadership development, but to say that the assessment and conclusions I draw from their experiences is the definitive way to view the situation is contrary to the goal of this book. Instead, I hope that as I share my perspective, it not only illuminates possibilities but also provides space for readers to filter the insight through their own lens and absorb it as they see fit.
In addition to telling the stories of leaders, I also share my personal stories as an everyday leader struggling to grow a business, raise a family, and give back to my community. Just wait until you read some of my humbling experiences! I find I’m often just one fall and rise up ahead of many of the leaders I lead. The warning signs and strategies are almost obvious in hindsight but often feel invisible when you need them most. As a result, I’m always eager – after brushing myself off and regaining my composure – to share what I learn from personal experiences. Those who have agreed to share their real stories feel the same.
Regardless of my methodology in storytelling, my intent is to create empathy and understanding, to normalize the fact that leadership is hard stuff, and to provide the reader with insight and tools for how to be a leader who is courageous in tough times.
It is my hope that sharing stories of courageous leadership will inspire you to think about what else is possible for you. You are not alone. Your struggles are synonymous with leadership, regardless of your title. CEO does not stand for superhero. Despite your trail of rich successes or mountain of intense failures, this book was written to be a guide.
Each chapter will outline stories and strategies for living courageously as a leader. At the end of each chapter, you’ll see a section called “Chapter Application,” where you’ll be provided questions to consider that will help you apply what you’ve learned in the book to your real-world experiences. If the chapter doesn’t already provide strategies for developing the specific skills introduced in the chapter, you’ll also see a section for strategies to practice.
I ask that, as you begin this book, you give yourself permission to be a learner and stay open to the possibility that you will take away exactly what you need from the time you invest in it.
1
The Business Case for Courage
Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage. 6
Anna is the kind of person we all want to work with. She is considerate, compassionate, and approachable. In an industry where attracting and retaining talent is nearly impossible, Anna has been extraordinarily successful at keeping her people happy. When I first met Anna, I was in the process of visiting various locations throughout her organization to facilitate feedback from employees in the field. Before meeting Anna and her team, I had heard nothing but gripes from overworked and underpaid employees in other locations, most of whom pointed their fingers at poor leadership – especially in the “disconnected” corporate office. But Anna’s team offered a very different perspective. Their unique account of their experiences was uplifting. I spoke with one team member who held one of the least desirable jobs in the company, having to work at all hours of the night to dispatch calls from employees in the field. He said, “Even if the competition paid me double, I wouldn’t leave this company. Anna treats us like family.”
Anna did, in fact, strike me as a warm and caring matriarch, protectively hovering and providing for her flock. My visit fell on a Friday morning, and per tradition, Anna had brought in her homemade pastries. Before she could set them down on the breakroom table, greedy hands dug in, and her team clustered together to catch up on the week. I used this time as an opportunity to informally learn more about Anna’s leadership. I heard nothing but praise for Anna’s kindness and generosity.
After such an unusual visit, I returned to the corporate office to report back to the divisional president, excited to share a success story amid the myriad of dysfunctional stories I had cataloged during previous site visits. When I concluded sharing my testimonial to Anna’s great leadership, the president shook his head in disappointment. He then pulled up an Excel spreadsheet and began walking me through Anna’s key performance indicators compared to her peers in similar positions around the country.
On average, Anna paid her employees 25 percent more than other teams, even though the cost of living in her region was significantly less expensive. She had three times more resources allocated to the team’s workload than her counterparts, and yet her branch was underperforming in every metric the company measured. In fact, year after year, the problems had progressively gotten worse. The president said, “Anna’s people are happy and they don’t leave because she babies them and lets them get away with not
“Anais Nin Quotes.” Excerpt from THE DIARY OF ANAIS NIN, Volume Three: 1939-1944. Copyright © 1969 by Anais Nin and renewed 1997 by Rupert Pole and Gunther Stuhlmann. Reprinted by permission of Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company.
