in the first place you are searching for something more. You might not know exactly what it is, but you hope the “more” is out there and if it is, you want it.
You have been successful…at least to some extent. You have probably worked hard at life. You may have a good education. Perhaps you have risen to some level of leadership at work, or raised a family, or put away some money for retirement.
But do you ever ask yourself, “Is this all there is?”
We have asked thousands of people one very simple question: “Are you thriving in your life?” We use the word “thriving” to describe a life where nothing is missing, where you have it all. Thriving doesn't mean you are particularly wealthy or popular but that your life is rich, happy, and meaningful. Those who are thriving have found the more that others seek. We asked them to choose one of the following descriptions of their lives:
1. I am hanging on by my fingernails. Despite all I have accomplished my life isn't good at all.
2. I am eroding. I'm not desperate but my life is a grind and does not seem to be headed in a positive direction.
3. I am treading water – just sort of enduring my situation. My life isn't bad, but I would not say it is good, either.
4. I am growing. My life is on a positive trajectory. Certainly, it could be better, but I am reasonably satisfied and optimistic about the future.
5. I am thriving. I am creatively engaged in my work and life. I am at the top of my game. I feel energized, balanced, healthy, and happy.
Approximately one‐third were reluctant to choose a response because the question itself made them uncomfortable. Almost no one chose number five – I am thriving. Most people responded that they were eroding or treading water – enduring their life rather than living it purposefully.
What is true about your life?
We all know stories about people who appear to be thriving. People like Warren Buffett who, at 86 years old and despite his wealth, goes to work every day. You might expect a man who has achieved such financial success to have cashed out and retired to a tropical island, or to have spent at least some part of his wealth on a lavish lifestyle. Not so with Mr. Buffett. He lives in a very modest home – actually the first house he purchased in Omaha, Nebraska. He drives an ordinary car and works in the same office he and his partner have occupied since they started their business. Mr. Buffett does not work because he has to. He works because he wants to. It brings him life. He thrives in what he does.
But, thriving is not only for those who are financially successful. Perhaps you know a couple who, after years of marriage, are still in love. They are thriving in their relationship. Or, people who feel deeply satisfied with their lives, who are making a difference in the world around them. It is not always the rich and famous who live great lives. In fact, more often than not, it is easier for ordinary people to find the pathway that leads to true satisfaction and deep joy.
Marianne Williamson, in A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles,” wrote:
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?” Actually, who are you not to be?.. We are all meant to shine, as children do… And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
Williamson speaks to a deep truth; that every one of us has such potential for greatness that it is difficult for us to comprehend or accept. She is calling us to give up our proclivity for mediocrity and to stretch for greatness. As we shine, our light encourages others to shine, as well. Each of us has the ability to radiate a deep joy and contentment while exuding a power more than sufficient to change the world.
It is your right to shine, to thrive, to live a life of purpose and meaning. It is your right to wake up every day saying, “Wow, my life is amazing,” and to radiate joy, power, and peace every moment of every day for the rest of your life. It is your right to thrive.
Thriving is unrelated to material success. Does this surprise you? Certainly, we need money to support our lives, but excessive wealth does not add to life satisfaction. Many very wealthy and outwardly successful men and women feel neither secure nor happy. We know of a man who is desperately working toward his goal of building a $100 million nest egg. He claims he will feel safe enough to relax when he has reached that goal. If this is the standard for well‐being and security, very few of us will ever experience it. Our friend is looking for security where it cannot be found. Until he looks in the right place – inside his own life – he will live with constant anxiety. If he arrives at his goal, he may discover he feels no more secure, and he may just move the goal to $200 million.
You probably are not worth hundreds of millions of dollars, or tens of millions. Most likely not even a million, or a hundred thousand dollars. You find this story to be amusing, if not ridiculous. But if you make $40,000 a year and think you would be unburdened if you only made $100,000, you are playing the same game. Security, peace, and success are not tied to increased financial wealth.
In his book, Drive, Dan Pink observed that thought workers (those who don't work with their hands for a living) are not motivated by money. Once they are paid sufficient money to meet their needs, three things increased their motivation: (1) Autonomy. People liked to have control over how they approached their work and how they did their work; (2) Mastery. People are naturally motivated to improve their skills; and (3) Purpose. People want to feel like their work matters, that it contributes to something bigger than themselves. (Pink 2009) Pink discovered the importance of what we call the Circle Blueprint: a map of life choices that shape the quality, satisfaction, and impact of your life. We all long to live satisfying, meaningful lives. Money has its place, but it is not the primary driver of thriving.
Thriving is the result of tending to what you put in your Circle and mastering the elements of your Circle Blueprint. All of us have the ability to thrive in our lives but many of us have lost track of the path toward thriving and get stuck just enduring or even worse, eroding or hanging on. We end up settling for less. This book was designed to help you rediscover the path that leads to thriving.
One client said, “Using these concepts helped me understand my unique map, the way I am wired on the inside and how to best align with the world around me. I transitioned out of a career I didn't love and started an entirely new one. Now I am much more successful. I find joy and deep satisfaction every day.” Another told us that these concepts helped him find his happiness: “While working through the Circle Blueprint, it hit me one day. I felt a sense of freedom and joy I hadn't felt since I was a kid – well before I worried about being popular at school or stressed about pleasing others with what I did in sports or at work. The funny thing is, it was there the whole time, I hadn't really changed, I just needed to free myself to be happy – and the Circle Blueprint helped me do that.”
Our hope is that you will find in this book encouragement and the tools to thrive in your own life. This book is the starting point in a system we have created and designed to move you forward on a path to true contentment in your life. The book introduces and explains both concepts and elements required to create and sustain you on your path. We also acknowledge that a book isn't always adequate to equip you to apply these concepts to your unique life situation. To help you more directly apply the Circle Blueprint to your life, we created the second part of the system: a psychometrically validated self‐assessment designed to bring forward your latent dispositional enduring personality traits as they pertain to the concepts and elements of your Circle. Once these areas have been self‐assessed, the final piece of the system includes workbooks and exercises created
