of confidence we tend to think of a certain stand-out quality. Confident people shine, don’t they?
EVERYONE HAS THE ‘IT’ FACTOR
“ Confidence is being fully present. Confidence is what some people call the ‘it’ factor. ”
When we refer to celebrities as stars it’s because we of course believe that stars shine big time. You may be thinking that mere mortals surely cannot attain the ‘it’ factor possessed by stars. Yet according to Patsy Rodenburg, who is sought after by the biggest acting stars, every one of us is born with ‘presence’. Though it can get lost, it’s reassuring that Rodenburg absolutely insists that every one of us can re-engage this ‘it’ factor.
What might come as a surprise is what contributes to this ‘it’ factor or what can ignite it. For Rodenburg, who also coaches leaders and athletes, real confidence comes from deep knowledge, but she points out that this isn’t fashionable at the moment in our society. And of course we know she’s right. Anyone can be an expert on anything by Googling something. If you are suffering from chronic low confidence you might even have come to the conclusion that confidence is superficial knowledge but, as you’ll discover, real confidence is far from superficial. Rodenburg always goes back to the Ancient Greeks to make her point about self-awareness. Carved on the tree before they visited the oracle were the words Know Thy Self. Knowing yourself means accepting gaps of knowledge and gaining knowledge – which will provide you with confidence. We’re told that knowledge is power but it’s way more important than that – it generates that ‘it’ factor.
One of the problems with defining confidence is that because it’s complex, identifying it in others is not straightforward. It’s tempting to assume that anyone who appears fearless is confident. But would they describe themselves as such?
CONFIDENCE IS IN THE EYES OF THE BEHOLDER
“ When we are confident in doing something, it tends to be afterwards that we realize this. That’s when we say WOW I really did that, I was confident. ”
We may think performers are the people who personify confidence because they put themselves up in front of an audience with the fear of forgetting what they have memorized and the risk of negative responses. Yet former Broadway actress Niki Flacks points out that actors on stage can be having a wonderful time, but feel awful backstage. They may have been shaking with nerves and pacing up and down to the toilet beforehand, but then they step on stage relaxed and forget their nerves.
The reason for this, as Flacks explains, is that when people are doing in the moment they are not thinking confident, and this is exactly the case with actors and other performers on stage. It’s important to remember that the same applies to many situations where you would like to acquire confidence. You might be admiring the colleague who is great at business pitches, or the friend who cooks gourmet dinners for large groups, but they may not be thinking of themselves as confident. They might have had a lot of practice (in turn, gaining a huge amount of knowledge), and love what they do. They too might still have a flurry of nerves before a business presentation, or before 20 people arrive for dinner. The point is you don’t have to wait for that magical day to feel confident to do what you dream of. Simply try to do it, and the magic will follow.
When you’re feeling less than good about yourself, one of the easiest ways to take the negative focus away is to target your thoughts at nature. Simply noticing the flowers blooming in your pot plant, the changing colours of the leaves on the trees in your street, the smell of freshness after the rain, can begin to transform your outlook.
Is there a park near your workplace or home? Can you walk home from work via parks and canals and leafy back streets? Can you go on daytrips at the weekend somewhere not too far but wild and wonderful? Is there a beach where you can walk on the sand or the pebbles? Walking outside surrounded by nature will help you feel alive in your body, and that will boost your mood no end.
Конец ознакомительного фрагмента.
Текст предоставлен ООО «ЛитРес».
Прочитайте эту книгу целиком, купив полную легальную версию на ЛитРес.
Безопасно оплатить книгу можно банковской картой Visa, MasterCard, Maestro, со счета мобильного телефона, с платежного терминала, в салоне МТС или Связной, через PayPal, WebMoney, Яндекс.Деньги, QIWI Кошелек, бонусными картами или другим удобным Вам способом.
