of de-traumatisation and de-neurotisation algorithms are presented at the end of this book. It also includes working through the traumas of disappointment and offence. This is what it looks like in practice.
Tatiana the artist
Tatiana is a grown-up person; she is an artist. She said that she was a straight “A” student and, at some point, she had to change schools. At her new school, English classes were given much more attention than at her previous school. She did not want to look ignorant, so when she was asked whether she had read this or that author in original, she would respond: “Yes, of course!” Her answer would provoke laughter in the classroom. As a result, that period of life brought her the feeling of tension, which has accompanied her to the moment of our meeting.
We discovered it during the following work.
“There is an idea to learn a language. Does this project appear new or far from you? It can appear as some sort of container in front of you. You should decide whether you want to accept it or to reject. If you choose to accept, then observe how your soul is accepting it.” (The method of “putting on’ good things and using this moment as a checkpoint will be described later. We still have to find out more about the method of “test phrases and images.”)
Here is the description given by Tatiana.
“I have started drinking from the cup eagerly. Suddenly, there’s a headache, and everything got stuck in my throat.”
“Is it a technical problem: for example, the cup is too big, and the throat is too narrow? Or is it your body protesting?”
“Most likely, it’s a protest. I tried to imagine that it is water, like a puddle of water, which I could absorb with my feet, but it turned out to be impossible.”
“Is there anything inside that would perceive learning a language as potentially harmful?”
“There is nothing that I could think of. I like learning new things, and I always put my knowledge to use. I’m checking my inner container, and there’s also enough space.”
“Let’s define what kind of impression you first encounter with the foreign language produced.”
Tatiana begins telling her story. For her final year, she had to change schools, and at her new school, everyone seemed to have a much better level of English. Then she realized: “I don’t know this language while everyone else speaks it fluently.”
“I had no problems with other subjects, but English was different. My classmates treated me with condescension, and they laughed at me.”
“What kind of impression did it leave inside? Is there a feeling of inferiority?”
“There’s tension in my head, chest, stomach, throat, and shoulders. There’s a boulder in the soul and a lump of offence in the throat.”
“Many years have passed since then. You have acquired a lot of new knowledge, and there have been many achievements. If it is just tension, then let it melt; if you feel there is something hurting you (it does not matter whether it is sharp or blunt, big or fine, you have to let it go the way it came). Follow the principle that we let go of everything that came in without any invitation.”
“It feels better now. Something was holding me in the chest, like a lump. It’s gone.”
“Now that you’re free from the influence of the old wound and tension, observe what is happening next.”
Everything, connected with language learning (contents of that cup), was absorbed by the whole body. Here are Tatiana’s words:
“I imagined that my whole body was absorbing some yellow-coloured substance. My body was learning the fact that a language could also be learnt by the whole body32.”
What to do when something is smothering you, and you feel screens in the throat and a noose around the neck
Some people discover that they have a noose around the neck or a screen at the back of the neck all of which cause the feeling of being suffocated. We have to note here that such sensations do not always point to psychological problems. One should also consider that they could be the symptoms of problems with the spinal column or with the thyroid gland. It can even be ischemia (insufficient oxygen supply) of the nucleus of the glossopharyngeal nerve or other reasons.
If your intuition is telling you that the reason is psychological, nothing stops you from having a look at who is controlling the noose in case you feel it around your neck. Usually, there is nobody else who would hold it. Even if there was someone who provoked the spasm, you do the rest on your own. That is why you have to decide whether you want to keep on going like this or put a stop to this.
It may also be one of the manifestations of “sub-identity’ in its attempt to protect your grand self from “humiliation’ and being ridiculed.
A group photo
One may think that some people have nothing else to do but to watch you and evaluate whether you do everything right or wrong! In such cases, I often ask my patients the question if they look at a group photo whose looks they worry about the most. The typical answer is that, firstly, they think about themselves. This is what most people do. They worry about the way they look, and they do not really care about you. If it is the kind of person, who likes to judge everyone else, then let it be his or her problem that they are ready to waste their time judging. It’s enough for you to know that you deeply accept yourself and that you respect and love yourself, no matter what others think of you. In any case, you will try to do the best you can.
Thinking about the impression you make on other people is an unnecessary neurotic reaction.
Hands on the neck
Zinaida, a medic student, tells us the following:
“There are hands on my neck. They are human hands. Something is squeezing my neck…”
“Do you think there’s such force in the world that could be strangling a good girl Zina?”
Zina thinks and understands that there is nobody except herself who would prevent her from speaking. This is an after-sensation, which was formed at an impressionable age at some confusing moment. It is just an inertial contour.
Having realized that it is a part of her own, Zina decides to bring back the energy from that “sub-identity.” She observes the process that follows the realization. Hands move away from the neck and melt. The energy of the body, that used to be split into two, is united, and Zina experiences a boost of energy.
She feels that the world accepts her with interest and love. She becomes stronger with every day in this world. This sensation settles in her body33.
Exercise 6: If there is something squeezing your neck
Initial attitude: “I choose to be ridiculous and absurd if it’s necessary. I focus on speaking and reaching the goals of communication and not on making an impression as an expert in this language. Calmly and with dignity, I cushion those mistakes I make
This work took place in Moscow in 2010.
This work took place in Moscow in 2010.
