a bit drunk. But I can say it ’cause I’m drunk. You’re really nice man. And I like you.’
‘Well,’ Rory said softly. ‘I like you.’
He leaned over, and put his hand gently on her cheek, and kissed her. Elle didn’t move for a second, but then she relaxed, and kissed him back. Rory slid his other arm round her and pulled her towards him. She could taste wine and cigarettes on him; she knew he was drunk too. The funny thing was, it should have felt odd. But it didn’t. He carried on kissing her, and she slid her tongue into his mouth, loving the taste of him, suddenly desperate to feel more. His hand moved over her body, gently tracing the outline of her breast, and it felt wonderful, his fingers on her dress, the fabric moving against her hot skin.
After a minute, Elle broke away, her lips throbbing, her cheeks burning. She looked into the rear-view mirror, but the cab driver was gazing straight ahead. She glanced at Rory, and gave a weak laugh.
‘What?’ he said, stroking her cheek.
‘I’m going to wake up tomorrow and think, “Oh, my God, I kissed Rory last night,”’ Elle mumbled, into his shoulder.
Rory closed his eyes and smiled. ‘What will you think after that?’
‘How lovely it was.’
He kissed her again. ‘Really?’
‘Really,’ Elle said. ‘This is weird,’ she added.
‘I don’t think so,’ Rory said, smiling, and she looked at him and knew he was much drunker than she’d realised, but it was Rory, it’d be OK, wouldn’t it?
Vaguely Elle wondered if she’d wake up in a minute, or what would happen tomorrow, at work: would she lose her job, would people find out, was this the right thing to do? But as she looked down at his hand, moving up her leg, she knew that at this exact moment, she didn’t care. He was a man, she was a woman. Worry about it tomorrow, Elle, she told herself. Just for once, worry about it tomorrow.
‘I thought you liked Jeremy,’ Rory whispered in her ear. She could feel his warm breath against her skin, her neck.
‘I like you more,’ said Elle simply, without time to think this through, and she realised it was true as she said it. She kissed him again.
‘Oh, really,’ Rory said. ‘Well, I’m glad to hear it. Very glad.’
He pulled her towards him, as the cab rolled west through the rainy, deserted streets.
I have noticed that when things happen in one’s imaginings, they never happen in one’s life, so I am curbing myself.
Dodie Smith, I Capture the Castle
IT HAD RAINED for almost two weeks now, non-stop. Huge swathes of the countryside lay under water, and Elle was becoming used to opening her curtains every morning to grey skies, slicing rain on metallic streets. Her umbrella was never dry; it sat, soggy, in the bottom of her damp handbag.
Elle hurried up the stairs of the Savoy and paused at the entrance to the American Bar, gathering herself. She ran her hands through her hair, then rummaged for some lip gloss. She had dressed with care this morning; but she wished she wasn’t so nervous. Coming somewhere like here didn’t bother her these days. Agents didn’t bother her, authors, bosses – she wasn’t a little girl any more, she was twenty-six now. No, it was the meeting itself she was dreading, and why? It was only them, after all. She smiled at the urbane waiter at the door and scanned the room, trying to look calm, confident.
‘Elle, love? Over here!’ someone called from the furthest corner of the bar. ‘We’re here!’
Her mother was standing up, waving enthusiastically. Her voice was too loud; Elle walked over, feeling herself flushing with embarrassment. Mandana was smiling, her face red with pleasure. Elle returned her tight hug, thinking how thin she was, birdlike in fact.
‘Hi, Dad,’ she said, kissing her father on the cheek.
Her father and brother had stood up, identical in shape, both twice the size of her mother. ‘Hi, Elle, love,’ John said. He gave her a strong hug. ‘Lovely to see you.’
‘I’m sorry I’m late.’ She hugged him back. ‘I got caught up at work, I was editing—’
‘It’s fine.’ Rhodes gestured for her to sit down. ‘You’re here now. We’ll get you a drink. So this –’ he stepped aside, as if he were making a big reveal with a cloak, ‘is Melissa.’
Elle leaned forward and shook hands with Melissa, who stayed seated. ‘Hi!’ she said, smiling to reveal perfect white teeth. ‘It’s such a pleasure finally to meet Rhodes’s sister. He’s told me so much about you!’ Her grey cashmere cardigan slid off one slim shoulder. Melissa gracefully slipped it back into place, and put her hands back in her lap.
‘Waiter?’ Rhodes called. ‘Elle, what do you want?’
As Elle looked for a seat, her parents moved so far apart that she had no choice but to sit between them. She put her bag on the floor, and glanced blankly at the menu. ‘Oh – er –’ she said.
‘Elle?’ Rhodes said again.
‘Oh – I’ll have a vodka Martini please, with a twist,’ said Elle, and then instantly wished she hadn’t. She had wanted to seem sophisticated, and it looked quite the opposite, ostentatious and stupid, and besides, lately, she had stopped drinking when Mum was around.
‘Mum?’ Rhodes said. ‘Another drink?’
There was a pause. ‘Oh, I’ll stick to the orange juice, thanks!’ Mandana said. She raised her glass. The hand that clutched the tumbler shook slightly.
Having taken the rest of the order, the waiter moved off and there was a silence.
‘Sorry I’m late,’ Elle apologised again. ‘I have to go on somewhere afterwards, and I was in meetings all day.’
It was the wrong thing to say. Rhodes’s nostrils flared. ‘Melissa, you should know we’re lucky Elle’s been able to drop by, even for a few minutes—’
Melissa cut in, smiling again. ‘Wonderful that you’re here, anyway!’ she said. ‘And wonderful to meet you all.’
There was another silence. The last time her family had been together was when Elle had graduated from Edinburgh, over four years ago. Before that, God only knew. She stole a glance at her father, immaculate in his dark blue wool suit. He looked older than Elle remembered, but he always did. In her mind, he was ten years younger, around the time he’d left. It was strange, how ageing affected people. It was in his eyes, around his mouth. An expression; she couldn’t explain it. Elle smiled at Melissa.
‘So, welcome to the UK!’ she said brightly. ‘What have you been doing since you arrived? Have you been on the London Eye?’
‘Actually, I did a Masters at LSE so I’ve spent a lot of time in London’, Melissa said, one slim, perfectly manicured finger fiddling with
