as they held one another in the check-in area at Heathrow, Mia felt a tightening in her throat and the prick of tears beginning beneath her eyelids. She stiffened and let go. She wouldn’t look at Katie as she picked up her backpack and hoisted it over her shoulders, tugging her hair free from beneath it.
‘So this is it,’ Katie said.
‘I suppose so.’
‘Got everything?’
‘Yes.’
‘Passport? Tickets? Currency?’
‘Everything.’
‘And Finn’s meeting you shortly?’
‘Yes.’ Mia had arranged it so his and Katie’s paths wouldn’t have to cross. ‘Thanks for bringing me,’ she added, touched that Katie had taken the day off work to do so. ‘You didn’t have to.’
‘I wanted to say goodbye properly.’ Katie was dressed in a well-cut grey dress beneath a light caramel jacket. She slipped her hands into the wide pockets. ‘I feel like I’ve barely seen you recently.’
Her gaze slid to the floor; she’d been finding reasons to stay away.
‘Mia,’ she said, taking a small step forward. ‘I know it’s probably seemed like I’m not happy for you – about you travelling. It’s just hard. You leaving. That’s all.’
‘I know.’
Katie reached out and took her hands. Her sister’s fingers were warm and dry from her pockets and her own felt clammy within them. ‘I’m sorry if London hasn’t been right for you. I feel like I pushed you into it.’ Katie twisted Mia’s silver thumb ring between her fingers as she said, ‘I just thought, after Mum, it would be good for us to stay together. I know you’ve been having a tough time lately – and I’m sorry if you haven’t felt like you could come to me.’
An oily slick of guilt slid down the back of Mia’s throat: How could I come to you?
She thought back to the day she’d booked this trip. She had woken on their bathroom floor, her cheek pressed into the cool, tiled floor, which smelt of bleach. Her dress – a jade one of Katie’s – had twisted around her waist and her shoes had been abandoned, one beneath the sink, the other caught on the pedal of the bin.
Katie, wrapped in a soft blue towel, had been standing in the doorway. ‘Oh, Mia…’
Mia’s head had throbbed and the sour taste of spirits furred the back of her throat. She had pushed herself upright and a bolt of pain clenched at her temples. Snapshots of her evening flashed in her mind: the low-lit red booth, the empty whisky glasses, the grungy beat of an R&B track, the musky tang of sweat in the air, another round, a cheer of male voices, a familiar face, the irrepressible desire for risk. She remembered slinging her bag over her shoulder, tipping the final whisky down her throat, and then weaving along a darkened corridor. The memory of what happened next was so fresh and laced with so much shame, that she knew she had to leave. Leave London. Leave her sister.
A passenger announcement boomed over the tannoy bringing her back to the present.
Katie said, ‘I worry about you.’
Mia withdrew her hand, pretending to adjust her backpack straps. ‘I’ll be fine.’
They both turned as a middle-aged couple hurtled past, the man muttering, ‘Christ!’ as he pushed a luggage trolley behind his wife, who was struggling to run in heels, her painted fingernails gripping a bundle of documents. The man glanced across at Katie. Even when rushing for planes, even when their wives were at their sides, men couldn’t help but look. They were drawn to her like bees to a honey pot, or like flies to shit as Mia had once said in anger. It wasn’t just Katie’s petite figure or honey-blonde hair, it was a warm confidence that breathed through her pores, saying, I know who I am.
Katie didn’t notice the admiring glance as her attention had been caught by someone else. Finn came loping towards them wearing his daily uniform of T-shirt, jeans and Converse trainers. A tattered army-green backpack hung easily off one shoulder.
Katie took a slight step backwards, aligning herself with Mia, and fed her hands deep into her pockets.
Finn’s gaze moved slowly over them both. Then the corners of his mouth turned up in an easy, wide smile. ‘The Greene sisters!’ If there was any awkwardness on his part, he didn’t show it. ‘Coming with us, Katie?’
‘I’ll be living the trip vicariously from all the emails Mia will be sending.’
Mia smiled. ‘Hint duly noted.’
An airport vehicle towing a row of luggage trolleys beeped as it rolled towards them, causing the three of them to bunch together.
‘So how are things?’ Finn asked Katie. ‘It’s been a while.’
‘Yes, it has. Everything is fine, thank you. Work’s busy. But good. And you? How are you?’
‘Feeling pretty pleased about having a year off.’
‘You both must be. It’s California first?’
‘Yes, for a few weeks of coast-side cruising, and then on to Australia.’
‘Sounds wonderful. I’m incredibly jealous.’
Is she? Mia wondered. Would she want this: wearing her life on her back and moving from place to place with no plans?
‘Right,’ Katie said, taking the car keys from her handbag. ‘I best get going.’ She glanced at Finn, her face turning serious. ‘You will look after her, won’t you?’
‘You know that’s like asking a goldfish to babysit a piranha.’
Her features softened a little. ‘Just bring her back safely.’
‘I promise.’ He leant forward and kissed her on the cheek. ‘Take care.’
She nodded quickly, pressing her lips together. ‘You’ll call?’ she said to Mia. ‘You’ve got your mobile?’
‘I’m not taking it.’ Then, seeing Katie’s expression, she added, ‘It’s too expensive abroad.’ But cost wasn’t the real reason: Mia didn’t want to be contactable.
‘I’ve got mine if you need us,’ Finn said. ‘You’ve got my number still?’
‘Yes. Yes, I think so.’
There was a brief silence between them all. Mia wondered what Katie would do with the rest of her day. Catch up with a friend over coffee? Go to the gym? Meet Ed for lunch? She realized she had no idea how her sister spent her time.
‘Can you let me know when you’ve arrived?’
‘Sure,’ Mia replied, with a shrug she hadn’t intended. She wanted to tell Katie that she loved her, or say how much she’d miss her, but somehow she couldn’t find the words. It had always been that way for her. Instead,
