the man said louder. ‘Say it louder.’
She repeated, ‘Yes,’ and then, suddenly, ‘What have you done?’
There was quiet again after that, and she heard something moving, close to her. Her skin crept in a cold wave.
‘I didn’t do it.’ The voice sounded even closer now. ‘It must have been a bomb, I think. Perhaps a gas explosion.’
A bomb.
In her mind’s eye, imprinted on the terrifying darkness, the word conjured up flickering images. There were the television news pictures of violent death amongst the rubble, a half-forgotten impression of the reddened dome of St Paul’s still standing amongst the devastation of the Blitz, and then the mushroom cloud over Hiroshima.
A bomb.
The images faded and left her in the dark again. Her eyes stung with the effort of staring into it. She understood that a bomb had gone off, and buried her along with the broken Christmas tree balls, the gaudy strands of tinsel and the heavy door she had been going to push open. It was the same door lying on top of her now, crushing her.
Annie was shivering violently.
‘I’m afraid,’ she said.
She sounded very shocked, the man thought. But she was conscious, and she had stopped screaming. He wondered if there was a chance of manoeuvring himself close enough to help. He eased himself sideways a little, reaching out with his right hand.
‘What are you doing?’ Her voice was sharp with the onset of panic.
‘Trying to reach you. Listen to me, carefully. Where are you hurt?’
He could almost hear her thinking, painfully exploring the inner contours of her body, just as he had done himself.
At last she said, ‘I can’t feel my legs. My side hurts. There’s something heavy on top of me. I think it’s a door.’
‘That’s good. It’s probably like a shield for you.’
‘And my hair’s caught. I can’t move my head.’
She had long, thick fair hair. He remembered seeing it as she walked to the exit in front of him.
‘Can you move any part of you?’ he persisted.
‘My arm. My left arm.’
Gently, he said, ‘Reach out with it, then.’
He heard a tiny clink, perhaps the buckle of her watch against broken masonry, and the soft scraping of her fingers as they moved towards him. He stretched his own arm, further, until the muscles ached, and the splinters scraped his wrist. And then, miraculously, their fingers touched. Their hands gripped, palm to palm, suddenly strong.
Annie thought, Thank God. The hand in the dark was so solid, the feel of it gripping hers almost familiar, as if she already knew the shape of it.
The man heard the sob of relief in her throat. Her hand felt very cold in his.
‘What’s your name?’ he asked into the blackness.
‘Annie.’
‘Annie. I’ve always liked the name Annie. Mine is Steve.’
‘Steve.’
It was a reassurance to repeat the names, an affirmation that they were still there, still themselves after the cataclysm.
Annie felt his thumb move on the back of her hand, a little stroking movement. The fear began to loosen its grip, and her breath came easier. She turned her head towards him, as far as she could. Her hair pulled at her scalp.
‘I thought you did it,’ she said. ‘I’m sorry. I was afraid of you.’
‘I didn’t do it. I was just doing my Christmas shopping, like you.’
Christmas shopping … the translucent glass balls that had been so expensive, the shiny ribbons and fir branches in the shop windows, the snow falling in the wintry streets. And now? To be buried, in this acrid darkness. How far down? She had the impression that she had fallen down and down, into a great pit. What was balanced above them, how many tons of rubble cutting them off from the sky and air?
Annie’s hair tore at the roots as she struggled, involuntarily.
‘Keep still.’ Steve’s fingers tightened over hers.
Annie heard the door creak over her face. Yes, she must keep still.
‘And you?’ she asked. ‘Are you hurt?’
‘I’m cut, here and there. Not badly. My leg’s the worst. I think it’s broken.’
Now Annie’s fingers moved, trying to lace hers between his.
‘Don’t let go,’ Steve said quickly.
‘I won’t. I’m trying to think. How can we get out?’ She was collecting herself now, trying hard to keep her voice level.
‘I … don’t think we can.’ The sound of the sirens came again, multiplying, but a long way off. ‘They’ll come for us, Annie. It won’t be long, if we can just hold on.’
Annie thought, They won’t find us. How can they? No one even knows I’m here. I didn’t tell Martin where I was going.
‘Who is Martin?’
It was only with the question that Annie realized she had been thinking aloud. All her senses were dislocated. She was looking, staring so hard that her eyes stung, but she couldn’t see. There were noises all around her now, not just the sirens but other, rumbling sounds, creaking, and the rattle of falling fragments. Yet she couldn’t tell whether they were real, or replaying themselves inside her head, like her own voice. And suddenly she had the feeling that she wasn’t trapped at all, but falling again, spreadeagled in the blackness. Annie clenched her fists and tilted her face upwards, deliberately, ignoring the pain in her head, until her cheek met the solid, cold, weighty smoothness of the door.
‘My husband,’ she said, willing the words to come out normally. She wasn’t falling any more. ‘Martin is my husband.’
‘Go on,’ Steve said. ‘Talk to me. It doesn’t matter what. Lie still, and just talk.’
Leaving home this morning. There were the three of them, watching her go, little Benjy in Martin’s arms and Tom swinging around the banister post. Before that, she had run to the top of the stairs, reaching up to brush her cheek against Martin’s. A goodbye like a thousand others, hurried, and she hadn’t even seen her husband’s face. It was so familiar, rubbed smooth in her mind’s eye by the years.
Suddenly, Annie felt her solitude. She was going to die, here, alone. But the hand holding hers was blessedly warm. Where had Martin gone, then?
I love you. They repeated the formula often enough, not out of passion but to reassure each other, renewing the pledge. It is true, Annie thought. I do love him.
Yet
