Norah answered, but a faint light began to glow in her eyes. From the little Norah had said, Valerie realized her sister hadn’t expected their father to live through the ordeal. Now that he had, she was given the first glimmer of promise.
“I’ll be back in a few minutes,” Colby said, rubbing his eyes in an oddly vulnerable gesture. He must be running on pure adrenaline, Valerie thought. He’d been in surgery earlier in the day and he’d lost a patient; he’d feared he was about to lose another one. He still could. He didn’t need to say it aloud for Valerie to know.
Colby didn’t think her father would live until morning.
“I wish Steffie was here,” Norah said after Colby had left.
Valerie nodded. “I do, too.”
Colby had been gone a few minutes when a male nurse appeared. He knew Norah and greeted her warmly, then told them they could each see their father, but for only a moment.
Valerie went first. She’d assumed she was emotionally prepared, but the sight of her father destroyed any self-control she might have attained. Seeing him lying there so close to death affected her far more acutely than she’d expected.
Hurriedly she turned and left, feeling as though she could barely breathe. She walked past Norah without a word. She stumbled onto the patio, hugging her middle with both arms, dragging in one deep breath after another in a futile effort to compose herself.
The tears, which she’d managed to resist all evening, broke through in a flood of fear and anger. It was unfair. It was so unfair. How could she lose her father so soon after her mother?
She didn’t often give in to tears, but now they came as a release. Huge sobs shook her body. Slowly, she lowered herself onto a concrete bench, then rocked back and forth as the hot, unstoppable tears continued to fall.
A hand at her back felt warm and comforting. “Go ahead and let it out,” Colby whispered.
He sat beside her, his arm around her shoulders, and gradually drew her to him. She had no strength or will to refuse. Nestling her face against his jacket, Valerie sobbed loudly, openly. Colby rubbed his cheek along her hair and whispered indistinguishable, soothing words. His arms were strong and safe, and she desperately needed him and he was there.
When there were no more tears left to shed, a deep shudder racked her body. She straightened and used her sleeve to wipe her damp face.
“Feel better?” Colby asked, his hand on her hair.
Valerie nodded, embarrassed now that he’d found her like this. “Norah?”
“She’s talking to Mark Collins. One of the nurses who assisted me in surgery.”
“I … thought I was prepared … didn’t know I’d fall apart like this.”
“You’ve been under a lot of stress.”
“We all have.” She edged away from him, and taking the cue, he dropped his arm. She offered him a trembling smile, her gaze avoiding his.
“I wish I could guarantee that your father’s going to make it through this,” he said, his voice heavy. “But I can’t do that, Valerie.”
“I know.” Spontaneously, as though he’d silently willed it, she raised her eyes to his. His hands grasped her shoulders, tightening as he urged her closer. His eyes seemed to darken as his mouth made a slow descent toward hers, stopping a mere fraction from her lips.
Valerie closed her eyes, and his warm breath caressed her face. She inhaled the pungent scent of surgical soap and something else, something that was ineffably him.
“We shouldn’t be doing this,” he whispered.
It certainly wasn’t what she’d expected him to say. “I … know,” she said, but she was beyond listening to common sense. She needed Colby. His warmth, his comfort, his touch. And she wouldn’t be denied.
“Please,” she whispered.
The driving force of his kiss parted her lips, and Valerie was instantly caught in a whirlwind of sensation. Her hands reached for him, sliding up his solid chest, her fingers locking at the base of his neck.
He moaned, and she did, too. There was no resistance in Valerie, none. She surrendered herself to his kiss, to his need and her own.
With what seemed like reluctance, he broke away and slipped his mouth from hers.
She felt cold when he lifted his face. Opening her eyes, she glanced toward the waiting room, grateful to see that it was empty. They were alone in the shadows of the hedge, but a few seconds earlier it wouldn’t have mattered if they’d been standing in the middle of the bustling emergency room.
“I shouldn’t have let that happen. We both—”
Valerie placed her finger over his lips, silencing him. “Don’t say it. Please.” Her hands cupped his face and she gazed into his eyes, dark now with desire. “I need you. Right or wrong, I need you. Just hold me.”
A faint quiver went through her as he brought her back into his arms. Closing her eyes again, Valerie surrendered to the strength and safety she felt in his embrace.
He kissed her forehead lightly. His breath was uneven, and she found pleasure in knowing that he was no less affected by their encounter than she was.
As she’d already told him, Valerie didn’t want to question the right or wrong of it now. Neither of them was in any real danger of falling in love. Colby had explained the reasons a relationship between them was unfeasible. And she agreed with him. But their calm, rational words didn’t take into account what she was experiencing. This excitement, this weightless sense of release and longing. She didn’t want it to end. Apparently Colby didn’t, either, because he made no move to let her go.
“You shouldn’t feel so good in my arms,” he told her.
“I’m sorry.” But she wasn’t, not really. Soon they’d both regret this, but she’d save all the remorse for another day.
While she was in Colby’s embrace, she didn’t have to think about the future. She didn’t have to worry about facing the world without anyone to guide and support her. For the first time since she’d come home to Orchard Valley, Valerie didn’t feel inadequate or alone.
True, Norah was with her and Steffie was due to arrive soon. The three of them had each other, yet Valerie couldn’t quite escape the old roles; she was the one they’d always depended on for encouragement, guidance, a sense of strength. Only Valerie didn’t feel strong. She felt shaken, knocked off balance. She felt completely helpless….
“Norah’s looking for you,” Colby said.
Valerie sighed and grudgingly broke away from him. She peered into the waiting room and noticed her younger sister. Norah’s eyes found her at the same time. She didn’t do a good job of concealing her shock.
Valerie stood and turned to Colby. “Thank you.”
He remained sitting on the concrete bench and sent her a smile full of private meaning.
Norah
