Holly of Finland. Her royal self and her lady-in-waiting finally succeeded in being granted access to the famous celebrity hang-out Boudoir. Also present is Australian rock chick Ciara and her film crew and …’ She held her finger to her ear as though she were receiving more information. ‘News just in. It appears that Ireland’s favourite newsreader, Tony Walsh, was seen smiling just moments ago. Here beside me I have a witness to the fact. Welcome, Denise.’ Denise posed seductively at the camera. ‘Denise, tell me, where were you when this event was taking place?’
‘Well, I was just over there beside his table when I saw it happening.’ Denise sucked in her cheekbones and smiled at the camera.
‘Can you explain to us what happened?’
‘I was just standing there minding my own business when Mr Walsh took a sip of his drink and then shortly afterwards he smiled.’
‘Gosh, Denise, this is fascinating news. And are you sure it was a smile?’
‘Well, it could have been trapped wind causing him to make a face but others around me also thought it was a smile.’
‘So there were others who witnessed this?’
‘Yes, Princess Holly beside me here, saw the whole thing.’
The camera panned across to Holly where she stood drinking from a champagne bottle with a straw. ‘So, Holly, can you tell us, was it wind or a smile?’
Holly looked confused, then rolled her eyes, ‘Oh, wind. Sorry, I think it’s this champagne that’s doing it to me.’
Club Diva erupted in laughter. Jack as usual laughed the loudest. Holly hid her face in shame.
‘OK then …’ Sharon said, trying not to laugh, ‘so you heard it here first. The night when Ireland’s grimmest presenter was seen smiling. Back to you at the studio.’ Sharon’s smile faded as she looked up and saw Tony Walsh standing beside her, not surprisingly without a smile on his face.
Sharon gulped and said, ‘Good evening,’ and the camera was switched off. Everyone in the club was laughing at this stage, including the girls. Holly was finding the whole thing just so ridiculous that she had to laugh.
The camera was switched back on and this time it was focused on the mirror in the ladies’ toilet. Declan was filming from outside through a slit in the doorway and Denise and Sharon’s reflections were clearly visible.
‘I was only having a laugh,’ Sharon huffed, fixing her lipstick.
‘Don’t mind the miserable sod, Sharon. He just doesn’t want the camera in his face all night, especially on his night off. I can understand that.’
‘Oh, you’re on his side, I suppose,’ Sharon said grumpily.
‘Ah, shut up, you moany old whore,’ Denise snapped.
‘Where’s Holly?’ Sharon asked, changing the subject.
‘Don’t know. Last time I saw her she was doing a few funky moves on the dance floor,’ said Denise. The two of them looked at each other and laughed.
‘Ah … our poor little disco diva,’ said Sharon sadly. ‘I hope she finds someone gorgeous out there tonight and snogs the face off him.’
‘Yeah,’ agreed Denise. ‘Come on then, let’s go find her a man,’ she added, putting her make-up back in her bag.
Just after the girls left, a toilet flushed, the cubicle door opened and out stepped Holly.
In Club Diva, Holly’s big smile faded quickly when she saw her face on the screen.
Through the crack in the door Holly’s reflection was visible in the mirror; her eyes were red from crying. She blew her nose and stared miserably at herself for a while. She took a deep breath, opened the door and carried on downstairs to her friends.
Holly hadn’t remembered crying that night – in fact, she thought she had got through it very well. She rubbed her face while she worried about what else was coming up that she couldn’t remember.
Finally the scene changed and the words ‘Operation Gold Curtain’ came up.
Denise screamed, ‘Oh my God, Declan, you bastard!’ very loudly, and rushed to hide in the toilet.
She had obviously remembered something.
Declan chuckled and lit himself another cigarette.
‘OK, girls,’ Denise was announcing, ‘it is now time for Operation Gold Curtain.’
‘Huh?’ Sharon and Holly announced groggily from the couch where they had collapsed in a drunken stupor.
‘Operation Gold Curtain!’ Denise exclaimed excitedly, trying to drag them to their feet. ‘It’s time to infiltrate the VIP bar!’
‘You mean this isn’t it?’ Sharon said sarcastically, looking around the club.
‘No! That’s where the real celebs go!’ Denise pointed at the gold curtain, which was blocked by possibly the biggest and tallest man on the planet.
‘I don’t really care where the celebs are, to be honest, Denise,’ piped up Holly. ‘I’m fine here where I am,’ and she snuggled into the cosy couch.
Denise groaned and rolled her eyes, ‘Girls! Abbey and Ciara are in there, why aren’t we?’
Jack looked curiously across at his girlfriend. Abbey shrugged her shoulders weakly and held her face in her hand. None of this was jogging anybody’s memory except Denise’s, and she had fled the room. Jack’s smile suddenly faded and he slid down in his chair and crossed his arms. It was obviously all right for his sisters to act the fool but his girlfriend was a different matter. Jack placed his feet up on the chair in front of him and quietened down for the rest of the documentary.
Once Sharon and Holly had heard that Abbey and Ciara were in the room they sat up attentively and listened to Denise’s plan.
‘OK, girlies, here’s what we’re gonna do …’
Holly turned away from the screen and nudged Sharon. Holly couldn’t remember doing or saying any of these things at all; she was beginning to think Declan had hired lookalike actors as a horrible practical joke. Sharon turned to face her with wide worried eyes and shrugged. Nope, she wasn’t there that night either.
The camera followed the three girls as they very suspiciously approached the gold curtain and loitered around like idiots. Sharon finally built up the courage to tap the giant on the shoulder, causing him to turn round and provide Denise with enough time to escape under the curtain. She got down on her hands and knees and stuck her head through to the VIP bar while her bum and legs stuck out from the other side of the curtain.
Holly kicked her in the bum to hurry her along.
‘I can see them!’ Denise hissed loudly. ‘Oh my God! They’re speaking to that Hollywood actor guy!’ She took her head back out from under the curtain and looked at Holly with excitement. Unfortunately Sharon was running out of things to say to the giant bouncer and he turned his head just in time to catch Denise.
‘No,
