her drink. Now she was bored.
Daniel looked over. ‘Holly, can I get you a drink?’
‘Ah no, it’s OK, thanks, Daniel. I’m heading home soon anyway.’
‘Ah, Hol!’ protested Ciara. ‘You can’t go home so early! It’s your night!’
Holly didn’t feel as though it was her night. She felt rather as if she had gate-crashed a party and didn’t know anyone there.
‘No, I’m all right, thanks,’ she assured Daniel again.
‘No, you’re staying,’ Ciara insisted. ‘Get her a vodka and Coke, and I’ll have the same again,’ she ordered Daniel.
‘Ciara!’ Holly exclaimed, embarrassed at her sister’s rudeness.
‘No, it’s OK!’ Daniel assured her. ‘I asked.’ And he headed off to the bar.
‘Ciara, that was so rude,’ Holly gave out to her sister.
‘What? It’s not like he has to pay for it; he owns the bloody place,’ she said defensively.
‘That still doesn’t mean you can go around demanding free drinks—’
‘Where’s Richard?’ Ciara interrupted.
‘Gone home.’
‘Shit! How long ago?’ She jumped down from her seat in a panic.
‘I dunno, about five or ten minutes. Why?’
‘He’s supposed to be driving me home!’ She threw everyone’s coats into a pile on the floor while she rooted around for her bag.
‘Ciara, you’ll never catch him now, he’s been gone far too long.’
‘No, I will. He’s parked ages away and he’ll have to drive back down this road to get home. I’ll get him while he’s passing.’ She finally found her bag and legged it out the door yelling, ‘Bye, Holly! Well done, you were shite!’ before disappearing.
Holly was once again alone. Great, she thought, watching Daniel carrying the drinks back to the table. Now she was stuck talking to him all by herself.
‘Where’s Ciara gone?’ Daniel said, placing the drinks on the table and sitting down opposite Holly.
‘Oh, she said to say she’s really sorry but she had to chase my brother for a lift.’ Holly bit her lip guiltily, knowing full well that Ciara hadn’t even given Daniel a second thought as she raced out the door. ‘Sorry for being so rude to you earlier as well.’ Then she started laughing, ‘God, you must think we’re the rudest family in the world. Ciara’s a bit of a motor mouth; she doesn’t mean what she says half the time.’
‘And you did?’ he smiled.
‘At the time, yes.’ She laughed again.
‘Hey, it’s fine, just means there’s more drink for you,’ he said, sliding a shot glass across the table to her.
‘Ugh, what is this?’ Holly wrinkled her nose up at the smell.
Daniel looked away awkwardly and cleared his throat. ‘I can’t remember.’
‘Oh, come on!’ Holly laughed. ‘You just ordered it! It’s a woman’s right to know what she’s drinking, you know!’
Daniel looked at her with a smile on his face. ‘It’s called a BJ. You should have seen the barman’s face when I asked for one. I don’t think he knew it was a shot!’
‘Oh God,’ Holly laughed, ‘what’s Ciara doing drinking this? It smells awful!’
‘She said she found it easy to swallow.’ He started laughing again.
‘Oh, I’m sorry, Daniel. She really is ridiculous sometimes.’ Holly shook her head over her sister.
Daniel stared past Holly’s shoulder with amusement. ‘Well, it looks like your friend is having a good night, anyway.’
Holly turned and saw Denise and the DJ wrapped around each other beside the stage. Her provocative poses had obviously worked.
‘Oh no, not the horrible DJ who forced me to come out of the toilet,’ Holly groaned.
‘That’s Tom O’Connor from Dublin FM.’ Daniel laughed. ‘He’s a friend of mine.’
Holly covered her face in embarrassment.
‘He’s working here tonight because the karaoke went out live on the radio,’ he said seriously.
‘WHAT?’ Holly nearly had a heart attack for the twentieth time that night.
Daniel’s face broke out into a smile, ‘Only joking; just wanted to see the look on your face.’
‘Oh my God, don’t do that to me,’ Holly said, putting her hand on her heart. ‘Having the people in here listening to me was bad enough, never mind the entire city as well.’ She waited for her heart to stop pounding while Daniel stared at her with an amused look in his eye.
‘If you don’t mind me asking, if you hate it so much why did you enter?’ he asked carefully.
‘Oh, my hilarious husband thought it would be funny to enter his tone-deaf wife into a singing competition.’
Daniel laughed. ‘You weren’t that bad! Is your husband here?’ he asked. ‘I don’t want him thinking I’m trying to poison his wife with that awful concoction.’ He nodded towards the shot glass.
Holly looked around the club and smiled. ‘Yeah, he’s definitely here … somewhere.’
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Holly secured her bed sheet onto the washing line with a peg and thought about how she had bumbled around for the remainder of May trying to get her life into some sort of order. Days went by when she felt so happy and content, and confident that her life would be OK, and then as quickly as the feeling came it would disappear and she would feel sadness setting in again. She tried to find a routine she could fall into so that she felt as though she belonged in her body and her body belonged in this life, instead of wandering around like a zombie, watching everybody else live theirs while she waited for hers to end.
Unfortunately the routine hadn’t turned out exactly as she hoped it would. She found herself immobile for hours in the sitting room, reliving every single memory that she and Gerry had shared. She spent most of that time thinking about every argument they’d had, wishing she could take them back, wishing she could take back every horrible word she had ever said to him. She prayed that Gerry had known her words had only been spoken in anger and that they had not reflected her true feelings. She tortured herself for the times she had acted selfishly, going out with her friends for the night when she was mad at him instead of staying home with him. She chastised herself for walking away from him when she should have hugged him, when she held grudges for days instead of forgiving him, when she went straight to sleep some
